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Original poster

Can't get hold of adult son. He went out last night and phone has gone to not recognised.

158 replies

Gointhruhell · 02/12/2023 10:20

He walks home in a bad area. He never doesn't answer or reply. He lives alone in a house share.

I'm past myself.

OP posts:
SJP306 · 02/12/2023 10:46

Does he live far from you?

VisionsOfSplendour · 02/12/2023 10:47

SJP306 · 02/12/2023 10:42

Could he not have gotten drunk and stayed out till 4 am and is simply asleep with a flat battery?x

It sounds like phone not recognized is something more than a flat battery which would be the usual first assumption

I don't know exactly what that means though

Original poster
Gointhruhell · 02/12/2023 10:49

He isn't friends with house share they're professionals who barely see each other. I don't have his friends on socials and he's not on Instagram. He's not active on Facebook.

I've just read about network outages so hopefully it's that?

He's travelling to see a friend today. Quite a fair distance.

We message a lot and he always replies straight away. We're very close. As I am with ds2. Exdh is too we're a very close family.
It's him living in a dodgy area. He had a long walk through the city.

OP posts:
AuntMarch · 02/12/2023 10:50

I can understand the worry, our minds can jump to horrible conclusions!
Most likely hes sleeping off a hangover and something happened to his phone. Hopefully you'll find out soon.

Original poster
Gointhruhell · 02/12/2023 10:50

SJP306 · 02/12/2023 10:46

Does he live far from you?

About 50 minutes drive. But he should be travelling now?

OP posts:
SJP306 · 02/12/2023 10:51

My daughter is on 3 network and currently can't receive calls or make them or even text messages, if he's on this network it could be that x

SJP306 · 02/12/2023 10:53

Hopefully he'll message from someone's phone to let you know soon x

Lifeinlists · 02/12/2023 10:54

There could be many reasons but when something's out of character it's reasonable to worry. It's not 'tracking their every movement' to wonder if they're OK when you can't get hold of them as in the OP's description.

A male walking alone home at night in a dodgy area is something most parents will be a bit concerned about even if they don't share it with their adult son. I know this myself.

adventadvent · 02/12/2023 10:55

Wow some people obviously go on the once they are an adult they aren't your problem theme don't they?
I'd be worried too OP, how you get some news soon

Tilllly · 02/12/2023 10:55

I'd be worried too

But if some harm has come to him, you'd likely know by now

Hope he surfaces soon

Poppins2016 · 02/12/2023 10:56

SJP306 · 02/12/2023 10:51

My daughter is on 3 network and currently can't receive calls or make them or even text messages, if he's on this network it could be that x

Yep. I was just about to ask which network the phone is on... my DH and I are in the same situation (can only use WiFi and even then calling ability seem to be patchy for some reason). There's a serious outage with 3 mobile.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 02/12/2023 10:57

I hope he turns up safe and sound, OP.Flowers Please ignore the shitty posters who are telling you that you shouldn't care about your adult dc.

Namerequired · 02/12/2023 10:57

I hope you have contact soon and it’s just the network down. People think all teenagers/young adults are the same, but even within my own household I would worry more if one did this over another due to being so out of character.

Original poster
Gointhruhell · 02/12/2023 10:59

Thank you those being positive. It's really helping.

OP posts:
Gnomegnomegnome · 02/12/2023 11:02

I think that it’s lovely that you have a good relationship with your adult dc @Gointhruhell .

Hope you hear from him soon

makeminealargeoneagain · 02/12/2023 11:04

Hope you manage to contact him soon x

Dogcatmousecat · 02/12/2023 11:05

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 02/12/2023 10:38

If he lives alone as an adultin a house share, in the nicest possible way, he shouldn’t have his mum checking up on him.

There is no 'shouldn't' about it. What makes you think the OP was 'checking up on him', rather than that she happened to call him for another reason and only became concerned because his phone was 'unrecognised' when she happened to know he'd been out and in a dodgy area? Most parents don't just switch off all feelings of concern and responsibility for their children the moment they become adults.

Exactly…my children are all adults , I would be lying if I didn’t admit to stressing if their phone is unavailable , especially if they have been out drinking! I do not ever specifically call to ‘check ‘ up on them and they know that
We all know our children and mine are great at calling back or messaging me if I have tried calling.
OP hopefully your son is sleeping off the booze somewhere safe ! It doesn’t get any easier the older our children get .X

WrongSwanson · 02/12/2023 11:07

Sounds like a phone issue but it's totally normal and human to worry as a parent

Dogcatmousecat · 02/12/2023 11:08

Good point that people have made about network issues 👍

ClarkGriswold · 02/12/2023 11:09

OP I hope everything is ok - just to add I'm on 3 network too and haven't had any service since yesterday afternoon- can only use my phone on Wi-Fi. Hopefully it's related to this and he'll be in touch soon.

FreshFromTheSinBin · 02/12/2023 11:11

I hope he makes contact soon, OP.

On a slight tangent... it's funny how some people (not the OP) equate "checking up on adult children" as "having a good relationship with them". I have a fantastic relationship with all my adult children, but they are all students and I can go for days without hearing from them! On the whole, that means (to me) that they're fine and happy and haven't run out of money... I don't even go down the route of wondering where they are at 3AM because if I started down that path, I'd never sleep for anxiety.

BullysSpecialPrize123 · 02/12/2023 11:11

Could he have possibly hooked up with a woman for the night? Hoping it's nothing OP x

Finlesswonder · 02/12/2023 11:12

Network problems don't really matter on this day and age though do they? Even if he can't call or text, don't most people use WhatsApp anyway?

IBegYourBiggestPardon · 02/12/2023 11:12

This cold weather is draining my iPhone battery within minutes. Yesterday it took a good 45 mins to come back on and I had to place it on top of my electric blanket to warm it back up first. This morning I've had to sit it on top a of my hot water bottle whilst I'm at work. Thing is it's also draining the battery whilst it's plugged in charging up. Chances are the cold weather is draining his phone battery much quicker

BullysSpecialPrize123 · 02/12/2023 11:14

And I'm also in regular contact with my Mum, if she couldn't get hold of me in 24 hours and saw I'd not been on watsapp she'd be waiting for me in my house by now and I'd be out looking for her if it was the other way around.

I'm nearly 40!

It's not about being overbearing it's knowing your own pattern of communication and knowing when it changes dramatically.

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