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Original poster

Future sister in law won’t let me put the tree up till Sunday!!

506 replies

Yellink · 01/12/2023 14:23

I wanted to put my Christmas tree up either yesterday or today as it would have been the easiest days for me to put it up but on Wednesday my fiancé and I were at the pub talking about Christmas decorations and she told us we shouldn’t put up the Christmas tree until Advent Sunday because that’s the tradition and that’s how they do it in their family. I told her Thursday or Friday would be easier for me but she got shirty and told me if I’m marrying into the family I must stick to their Christmas traditions. I know how their family are with their traditions but I’m annoyed they’ve got a problem with me putting it up when I want to though. I didn’t put it up yesterday because I saw her walking past the house twice in the afternoon and evening to check I haven’t put it up!

I don’t know whether to put it up today or do it on Sunday even though I’m busy to avoid the confrontation with his family! I don’t want confrontation or an atmosphere at the Christmas party next Sunday!

OP posts:
2jacqi · 01/12/2023 14:52

@Yellink are your traditions not going to have a look in then?? tell her to bugger off! you do the tree when you have time!!

ohdamnitjanet · 01/12/2023 14:52

Not sure who’s more bonkers.

StuartSheehyisBack · 01/12/2023 14:53

There are some nutty threads here atm. This one tops the lot.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Christmas Events & celebrations
Original poster
Yellink · 01/12/2023 14:53

@Strugglingtodomybest I know what she’s like. She’ll make digs about it saying I’m not interested in being part of the family and his mum will condescendingly but “politely” tell me what we do I’m this family and then slag me off afterwards.

@piperpheobepruepaige No

OP posts:
Ffsnotaconference · 01/12/2023 14:53

Yellink · 01/12/2023 14:33

I’m not a confrontational person so I would struggle to deal with the awkwardness if she or his mum makes a snide comment. I’m so tempted to just put it up, all the boxes are downstairs. My fiancé isn’t bothered when it goes up but thinks we should wait till Sunday because of his mum and sister.

So why do you think you should wait?

I get not liking confrontation, most people don’t.

But surely the answer is ‘oh you don’t do it too someday? Ours are going up before then’ or even ‘it’s my tradition that I put them up when it works for me’
Your dp has no interest listening to her why would you?

The fact that she walked by means I definitely would have had them up.

I am struggling to believe this is true. That a grown adult is letting another adult, who doesn’t live with them, tell them when they are putting their decorations up.

justalittlesnoel · 01/12/2023 14:54

Yellink · 01/12/2023 14:53

@Strugglingtodomybest I know what she’s like. She’ll make digs about it saying I’m not interested in being part of the family and his mum will condescendingly but “politely” tell me what we do I’m this family and then slag me off afterwards.

@piperpheobepruepaige No

Well you can politely tell them that's not how you do it in your family! They're bonkers!

Iateallllllthepies · 01/12/2023 14:54

Jesus christ, put your tree up on April if you want, why are you letting people dictate to you?

I had this with ex Bil. They invited themselves to spemd
xmas with us and said it was there tradition not to open presents until after lunch at 4pm, so none of us could. I actually laughed in his face and did what I wanted, my house.

Dontbeme · 01/12/2023 14:54

My first instinct is don't marry this man, he will do what mummy and his sister want and will sit back and watch them treat you like a doormat, my second instinct is that you don't seem mature enough to get married, you need to live a bit first and toughen up.

Ffsnotaconference · 01/12/2023 14:54

Yellink · 01/12/2023 14:53

@Strugglingtodomybest I know what she’s like. She’ll make digs about it saying I’m not interested in being part of the family and his mum will condescendingly but “politely” tell me what we do I’m this family and then slag me off afterwards.

@piperpheobepruepaige No

So that’s what they do?

And what?

is it better living your life doing what they want or leaving to not give a fuck about what they say

Iateallllllthepies · 01/12/2023 14:54

*thier tradition, even

Nosleepforthismum · 01/12/2023 14:55

Aww OP, I feel bad because I’ve giggled at this post but honestly! Read it back to yourself and put your sodding Christmas tree up whenever you want. Your in laws sound completely nuts so you’ll end up falling out at some point down the line. May as well bite the bullet now Grin

Raincloudsonasunnyday · 01/12/2023 14:55

Omg OP. You are in for a WORLD of trouble if you give in to this woman.

You don't have to tell her to fuck off, but really she should. It's your tree, your house, your time, your decision. She is interloping into YOUR world, not the other way around. It's got literally NOTHING to do with her. Who on earth checks up on whether someone has got their tree up or not? Does she have nothing better to do with her life?!

piperpheobepruepaige · 01/12/2023 14:56

Yellink · 01/12/2023 14:53

@Strugglingtodomybest I know what she’s like. She’ll make digs about it saying I’m not interested in being part of the family and his mum will condescendingly but “politely” tell me what we do I’m this family and then slag me off afterwards.

@piperpheobepruepaige No

so..... put YOUR tree up in YOUR house when YOU want to??

and while you're at it, start making up your own rules about living

"oh no, you;re not allowed to drink tea after lunch because its against my traditions"

MaidOfSteel · 01/12/2023 14:56

Oh good lord! She's not your owner/boss, so put your tree up when it suits you. I'm not confrontational, but even I'd say something along the lines of 'I have my own traditions, thank you' or similar. Don't let them think they can order you around or they'll criticise you for everything for the rest of your life.

CandyLeBonBon · 01/12/2023 14:56

Yellink · 01/12/2023 14:53

@Strugglingtodomybest I know what she’s like. She’ll make digs about it saying I’m not interested in being part of the family and his mum will condescendingly but “politely” tell me what we do I’m this family and then slag me off afterwards.

@piperpheobepruepaige No

You need to learn to say no. Otherwise you're going to have a lifetime of this and we'll see you back here time and again berating the fact that your in laws are awful and your husband doesn't have your back.

For your sake, learn the word 'no' now.

Pinkpinkpink15 · 01/12/2023 14:57

Fucking hell

no man is worth marrying into this family.

if she's this controlling over what you do about a bloody Christmas Tree, can you imagine what she'd be like if you had kids!!

it's bad enough compromising family traditions with your other half, let alone SIL/MIL

If you go ahead marrying a spineless bloke & allowing his sister to dictate to you, please don't say you weren't warned.

Scruffington · 01/12/2023 14:57

People like this need gentle handling.

You should have poured a pint of cheap cider over her head and then spat on her shoes. And then said 'fuck off, Gemma'.

Katiesaidthat · 01/12/2023 14:57

I would say, awww so cute and then the tree would be up...

MissBuffyAnneSummers · 01/12/2023 14:57

Yellink · 01/12/2023 14:53

@Strugglingtodomybest I know what she’s like. She’ll make digs about it saying I’m not interested in being part of the family and his mum will condescendingly but “politely” tell me what we do I’m this family and then slag me off afterwards.

@piperpheobepruepaige No

You put the tree up when you and your partner want.

If you give in to this kind of fuckwittery now then you will be giving into it throughout your marriage.

And if she says things like "I’m not interested in being part of the family" then just smile and say "don't be silly" then change the subject.

dontgobaconmyheart · 01/12/2023 14:58

Eh? What nonsense OP. What has it to do with her when your own tree goes up? She can do what she likes with hers and keep her snippy little beak out.

I'd just get on with it. You're marrying your DP not her and I'd raise the point that by her logic he is 'marrying into' your family so will be observing those traditions as well.

CactusMactus · 01/12/2023 14:58

Have you thought about getting a 6ft inflatable Christmas dinosaur? Because you should. You really should...

Noshowlomo · 01/12/2023 14:58

Fuuuuck this silly bitch
Do it when you like, he’s also marrying into your family

CaptainMyCaptain · 01/12/2023 14:58

Don't let her tell you what to do or you'll be in for a lifetime of it. You and your fiance can make your own traditions.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 01/12/2023 14:59

Your traditions is that you put it when you’re free in December, not that of her families

While it’s nice that your soon to be husbands family traditions it’s also nice to make your own.

Mojolostforever · 01/12/2023 15:00

She doesn't get to dictate to you what you do in your own house. Just put the tree up whenever you want to.
Don't let her intimate you, she'll never stop.