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Original poster

Future sister in law won’t let me put the tree up till Sunday!!

506 replies

Yellink · 01/12/2023 14:23

I wanted to put my Christmas tree up either yesterday or today as it would have been the easiest days for me to put it up but on Wednesday my fiancé and I were at the pub talking about Christmas decorations and she told us we shouldn’t put up the Christmas tree until Advent Sunday because that’s the tradition and that’s how they do it in their family. I told her Thursday or Friday would be easier for me but she got shirty and told me if I’m marrying into the family I must stick to their Christmas traditions. I know how their family are with their traditions but I’m annoyed they’ve got a problem with me putting it up when I want to though. I didn’t put it up yesterday because I saw her walking past the house twice in the afternoon and evening to check I haven’t put it up!

I don’t know whether to put it up today or do it on Sunday even though I’m busy to avoid the confrontation with his family! I don’t want confrontation or an atmosphere at the Christmas party next Sunday!

OP posts:
muggart · 01/12/2023 22:27

OnAir · 01/12/2023 14:31

Get the inflatable dinosaur from Homebase pride of place out the front as a huge fuck you ?

www.homebase.co.uk/6ft-rexy-the-dinosaur-with-gift-christmas-outdoor-inflatable-decoration/14510492.html?out-of-stock-alternative

This!

Or better yet, put it in your SIL's front yard. Since they seem ok with meddling in each other's Christmas decorations it's only fair.

TeaGinandFags · 01/12/2023 22:33

My Christmas tree etc usually goes up at Advent or any convenient time near then. My mum usually tells me off for not waiting until Christmas Eve.

You are to do what the fuck you like under hour own roof. SIL is an officious and overbearing $@$@¥£. Do what you want or she'll be dictating every single aspect of your married life. If DP doesn't support you now, then he won't support you in anything else.

Crumpleton · 01/12/2023 22:39

My fiancé isn’t bothered when it goes up but thinks we should wait till Sunday because of his mum and sister.

Oh dear.
If he's like this over something as trivial as when to put up a Christmas tree I'd not want to be you when you've married into his family.
You need to take this as an insight as to what married life with your DF could be like in the future.

Do they own the house/pay the rent/mortgage, let you live there free of charge and pay all your other bills for you?

Are they at your beck and call?

If not why are you letting people that contribute so little to your life have such a big say in what you do.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Christmas Events & celebrations
Avatartar · 01/12/2023 22:41

OP there was a MN thread about a discount blow up Xmas garden dinosaur - why not order one and send to SIL’s house with welcome to my family on the delivery note?

MsRosley · 01/12/2023 22:43

WhateverMate · 01/12/2023 18:06

I didn’t put it up yesterday because I saw her walking past the house twice in the afternoon and evening to check I haven’t put it up!

Oh behave yourself 🙄🙄

That's too ridiculous even for Mumsnet.

The phrase overegged the pudding comes to mind. They're getting more and more desperate, aren't they?

HMW1906 · 01/12/2023 22:43

Put your tree up, make you own new traditions with your fiancé. What does he think about this? Does he care?

MsRosley · 01/12/2023 22:47

StarlightLime · 01/12/2023 14:43

Do people really live like this? Confused

No. The whole thread is made up.

alfagirl73 · 01/12/2023 23:09

Do as you damn well please in your own home!

If someone tried to dictate to me when to put up my decorations, my house would be visible from space by that evening!

Put your tree up - enjoy it - and who cares if they see it! Not their house, not their decorations, not their business!

VeronicaSawyer89 · 01/12/2023 23:24

Er, it's really easy to sort this. Just tell her to fuck off.

Imagwine · 01/12/2023 23:42

You actually need her to know you haven’t obeyed. If she doesn’t realise, you are back to square one, as she’ll think you done as you are told and will continue to do so.

Blaupunkt · 01/12/2023 23:42

Aye right op.

Ottersmith · 01/12/2023 23:45

Is this even real. Just put your fucking tree up. Then edge your way out of family occasions. You aren't marrying into his family, you are marrying him. It's not 1810. Maybe this isn't about the tree and about your fiance not standing up for you. What will happen when you have kids? A simple way not to have to do what they say is to not marry him.

assessedorregreased · 02/12/2023 02:38

EnjoyTheMushrooms · 01/12/2023 16:50

Put it up, keep curtains closed til Sunday. It’ll piss her off if she drives past. If they ever ask, pretend you were watching a movie and forgot to open them again!!!

I'd do the opposite.

I'd have the curtains wide open and lots of lights on the tree so that she can see it.

Don't hide it away. Show it off so she knows she can't control you!

WandaWonder · 02/12/2023 03:28

I am waiting for sequel after Christmas when the op will meed permission when to take them down, Should we take bets?

Anisette · 02/12/2023 11:04

It's really weird that your sister in law even cares about this. So far as I'm concerned, I have no idea when my brothers put their Christmas trees up and I really don't care - ditto with every other Christmas tradition.

caringcarer · 02/12/2023 11:56

She can put her tree up whenever she likes....and so can you. She sounds very controlling.

SerafinasGoose · 02/12/2023 11:59

The very word tradition is an instant turn-off to me. It's either uncomfortably close to 'diktat', or it implies a distinct lack of imagination.

If something's 'traditional' it usually compels me to do exactly the opposite.

MargotBamborough · 02/12/2023 12:13

SerafinasGoose · 02/12/2023 11:59

The very word tradition is an instant turn-off to me. It's either uncomfortably close to 'diktat', or it implies a distinct lack of imagination.

If something's 'traditional' it usually compels me to do exactly the opposite.

It's a word which is generally used to explain why we do things that are otherwise inexplicable.

Like women taking their husband's names on marriage.

CaptainMyCaptain · 02/12/2023 13:47

SerafinasGoose · 02/12/2023 11:59

The very word tradition is an instant turn-off to me. It's either uncomfortably close to 'diktat', or it implies a distinct lack of imagination.

If something's 'traditional' it usually compels me to do exactly the opposite.

Quite. I have no 'tradition' regarding when I put up my tree. I do it when I feel like it.

Parker231 · 02/12/2023 14:08

CaptainMyCaptain · 02/12/2023 13:47

Quite. I have no 'tradition' regarding when I put up my tree. I do it when I feel like it.

Show quote history

Our family have our own traditions ie tree down by NY, pj’s on Christmas Day.

Pinkpinkpink15 · 02/12/2023 15:32

thedamnseason · 01/12/2023 15:28

I'd put it up in fucking September next year just to really spite the twat.

@thedamnseason

or one better, just don't take it down!!

SerafinasGoose · 02/12/2023 15:51

MargotBamborough · 02/12/2023 12:13

It's a word which is generally used to explain why we do things that are otherwise inexplicable.

Like women taking their husband's names on marriage.

Show quote history

Indeed. Some people - usually women but by no means exclusively so - have taken real umbrage with me for this. Particularly MiL 😂

sugarandsweetener · 02/12/2023 16:21

but you are married @SerafinasGoose ?

Kanelsnegl · 02/12/2023 20:06

Meowandthen · 01/12/2023 19:39

And walk around in a gaudy Christmas sweater and flashing reindeer antlers. 😈

Show quote history

Wonder if you can hire carol singers to send to someone's door. She might enjoy them 😈

idkbroidk · 04/12/2023 14:12

i can't be the only one still waiting on an update from OP? please @Yellink , update us!!!

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