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Original poster

Future sister in law won’t let me put the tree up till Sunday!!

506 replies

Yellink · 01/12/2023 14:23

I wanted to put my Christmas tree up either yesterday or today as it would have been the easiest days for me to put it up but on Wednesday my fiancé and I were at the pub talking about Christmas decorations and she told us we shouldn’t put up the Christmas tree until Advent Sunday because that’s the tradition and that’s how they do it in their family. I told her Thursday or Friday would be easier for me but she got shirty and told me if I’m marrying into the family I must stick to their Christmas traditions. I know how their family are with their traditions but I’m annoyed they’ve got a problem with me putting it up when I want to though. I didn’t put it up yesterday because I saw her walking past the house twice in the afternoon and evening to check I haven’t put it up!

I don’t know whether to put it up today or do it on Sunday even though I’m busy to avoid the confrontation with his family! I don’t want confrontation or an atmosphere at the Christmas party next Sunday!

OP posts:
CandyLeBonBon · 01/12/2023 14:40

Is she telling you that you can't put a tree up in your own house, until Sunday??? Or have I misunderstood?

DancingDangerously · 01/12/2023 14:40

@Yellink You need to nip that in the bud right now. When you put your decorations up is nothing at all to do with his mum/his sister.

If he can't have your back and/or can't fathom having his own direction in life on even minor decisions that have fuck all to do with anyone but the two of you, you are in for a world of pain and hassle.

lesdeluges · 01/12/2023 14:41

When you put the tree up TODAY, take a pic and show us. Put a big fairy on top of the tree with a sign saying Ha Ha. Time and date it and send it to her.

Start as you mean to go on.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Christmas Events & celebrations
Verybadbride · 01/12/2023 14:41

My fiancé isn’t bothered when it goes up but thinks we should wait till Sunday because of his mum and sister.

Fucking hell OP. Are you sure you want to marry into this?

It's a Christmas tree. What else is your fiancé going to defer to his Mum and Sister about in your future lives?

If you're going to marry him you need to find your voice, and put your foot down at the start. Otherwise you'll wake up ten years later and realise you don't know who you are anymore Sad

Devilsmommy · 01/12/2023 14:41

Tell her to bugger off, you're putting your decorations up when you want to and she's got zero say in it. Don't let her dictate to you, if you cave on this you'll be caving on stuff forever

CremeEggThief · 01/12/2023 14:42

Grow up and get a backbone, OP.
Do you always look for this amount of validation?

LylaLee · 01/12/2023 14:42

This is a test for him to handle his family before you get married. They are overbearing.

If they are getting so het up about a tree, do you think they will be chill about
Names; number of children you want; circumcision; bottle or breastfed; type of nursery/childminding etc.

The message needs to be clear that you are adults who choose what works for YOUR FAMILY

StarlightLime · 01/12/2023 14:43

Do people really live like this? Confused

JFDIYOLO · 01/12/2023 14:43

Then take all the photos and put them up on all the social media with you standing in front of the tree in full battle ready gear.

crumpet · 01/12/2023 14:44

devildeepbluesea · 01/12/2023 14:25

Clearly the answer to this is: do what the fuck you like!

Slight caveat, do what the fuck you and your fiancé like!

piperpheobepruepaige · 01/12/2023 14:45

@Yellink do you live in the same house as your SIL ?

If not, what the fuck does it have to do with her when you put it up?

Pushkinini · 01/12/2023 14:45

Sod that. Stick it up when it's convenient for you.

CharlotteBog · 01/12/2023 14:46

because I saw her walking past the house twice in the afternoon and evening to check I haven’t put it up!

This has to be a wind up.
I think this could be the test of whether you want to 'marry into the family'.
What would actually happen if you put it up before Sunday? Will your sister and Mum inform your fiance that you are no good? How would your fiance respond to that?

Original poster
Yellink · 01/12/2023 14:46

@piperpheobepruepaige No she lives in a nearby village.

OP posts:
honeylulu · 01/12/2023 14:47

Well I don't put ours up until Advent either but her "order" would have wound me up so much i would have gone home and put the tree straight up to piss her off on purpose.

For God's same don't start obeying her. There will be no end to it!

PrimalLass · 01/12/2023 14:48

I would be going full out decs everywhere before Sunday to spite her.

Strugglingtodomybest · 01/12/2023 14:48

Ok, so there won't be an actual confrontation about you putting the Christmas tree up but there might be a snide comment, is that right op?

Personally I'm struggling to think of any comments that could be made about putting a Christmas tree up that could also be snide.

But let's say for example your sister-in-law says something along the lines of "oh you've put up your Christmas tree. That's earlier than we normally do it in our family". Then you just smile nicely, you don't have to reply. No confrontation necessary. No atmosphere necessary.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 01/12/2023 14:49

Are you serious?

Someone tells you that you can't put your tree up in your own home and instead of just doing it anyway like any grown adult, you not only don't - but notice she's walked past your house twice to check?!

I seriously do not get people today. You don't live with her. Grow the fuck up and stop being such a wet lettuce. My god.

It's not confrontational to live your life in your own home the way you want to FGS.

DancingDangerously · 01/12/2023 14:50

Strugglingtodomybest · 01/12/2023 14:48

Ok, so there won't be an actual confrontation about you putting the Christmas tree up but there might be a snide comment, is that right op?

Personally I'm struggling to think of any comments that could be made about putting a Christmas tree up that could also be snide.

But let's say for example your sister-in-law says something along the lines of "oh you've put up your Christmas tree. That's earlier than we normally do it in our family". Then you just smile nicely, you don't have to reply. No confrontation necessary. No atmosphere necessary.

This.

Water off a duck's back.

Ignore, and be happy.

piperpheobepruepaige · 01/12/2023 14:50

Yellink · 01/12/2023 14:46

@piperpheobepruepaige No she lives in a nearby village.

so does she own your house?

Dozycuntlaters · 01/12/2023 14:50

Oh dear!!! If you fiance thinks you should wait until Sunday because that's what his mum and sister want you are in for a lifetime of shit.....this is just the start.

Put your tree up when it suits you, appeasing them is just bonkers. Your fiance needs to man up, and if I were you I would be seriously thinking about whether I want to be with someone who is ruled by his (batshit) mum and sister.

Ellie56 · 01/12/2023 14:50

Just put the bloody tree up. If they say anything tell them their "traditions" don't extend to your house.

You have to make a stand over this otherwise they'll be telling you what to do for ever.

Aquamarine1029 · 01/12/2023 14:51

Come on, op. This is absolutely fucking ridiculous. It's time to grow up and do as you please IN YOUR OWN HOME.

I've never heard anything so ridiculous.

rainbowsparkle28 · 01/12/2023 14:51

You are a grown adult and you are allowing someone else to dictate when you put up your Christmas tree?! The mind boggles. Assuming you are putting up your own tree in your own home - you do it whenever you like! 🤨🙄

Pallisers · 01/12/2023 14:51

But let's say for example your sister-in-law says something along the lines of "oh you've put up your Christmas tree. That's earlier than we normally do it in our family". Then you just smile nicely, you don't have to reply. No confrontation necessary. No atmosphere necessary.

This. Or "I know but in my family this is the tradition - hardly matters that much though does it"

Why would you even give her headspace? Just do what you want. Maybe it was just a throwaway comment from her. If she makes a big deal out of when the xmas tree goes up, isn't that kind of funny - like what adult cares what someone else does with their xmas tree. I mean even if you put it up in July it is none of her business (although she'd probably get a good laugh out of that)

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