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Original poster

Future sister in law won’t let me put the tree up till Sunday!!

506 replies

Yellink · 01/12/2023 14:23

I wanted to put my Christmas tree up either yesterday or today as it would have been the easiest days for me to put it up but on Wednesday my fiancé and I were at the pub talking about Christmas decorations and she told us we shouldn’t put up the Christmas tree until Advent Sunday because that’s the tradition and that’s how they do it in their family. I told her Thursday or Friday would be easier for me but she got shirty and told me if I’m marrying into the family I must stick to their Christmas traditions. I know how their family are with their traditions but I’m annoyed they’ve got a problem with me putting it up when I want to though. I didn’t put it up yesterday because I saw her walking past the house twice in the afternoon and evening to check I haven’t put it up!

I don’t know whether to put it up today or do it on Sunday even though I’m busy to avoid the confrontation with his family! I don’t want confrontation or an atmosphere at the Christmas party next Sunday!

OP posts:
Daisies12 · 01/12/2023 14:31

My god your family must be bored if that is worth even a discussion.

SutWytTi · 01/12/2023 14:32

I would have just laughed. Unless she had a weapon?

lesdeluges · 01/12/2023 14:32

Just smile and nod, and go ahead and do your own thing anyway.

Honestly, what's the mad mare going to do, come and take them down? 😂

If this is a genuine post you'd want to watch out if you intend to live your life independently of your fiance's family. Does he have your back and what did he say in the pub? Did he encourage you to go ahead and ignore her?

I'd be running a mile if he didn't TBH. This won't end well if so.

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Christmas Events & celebrations
Original poster
Yellink · 01/12/2023 14:33

I’m not a confrontational person so I would struggle to deal with the awkwardness if she or his mum makes a snide comment. I’m so tempted to just put it up, all the boxes are downstairs. My fiancé isn’t bothered when it goes up but thinks we should wait till Sunday because of his mum and sister.

OP posts:
sixteenfurryfeet · 01/12/2023 14:33

As is often the way, first response nailed it!

In any case if that is THE RULE, nobody appears to have told our local church. Their Christmas Tree festival starts today.

EtiennePalmiere · 01/12/2023 14:34

They sound somewhat bonkers

SleepingStandingUp · 01/12/2023 14:34

So either DF can do it Sunday or you do it today. Set these boundaries now before it starts on how your wedding has to be and how you must raise your kids

DeeCeeCherry · 01/12/2023 14:34

I really cant believe this is true unless you are an utter wet lettuce

Headband · 01/12/2023 14:34

How will she know?

EtiennePalmiere · 01/12/2023 14:35

Headband · 01/12/2023 14:34

How will she know?

She's been patrolling the area 😂

vidflex · 01/12/2023 14:36

Nah this can't be real lol. No ones this much of a sap

wildwestpioneer · 01/12/2023 14:36

Unless you are planning on putting up her tree in her house - do whatever you want!

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/12/2023 14:36

Yellink · 01/12/2023 14:33

I’m not a confrontational person so I would struggle to deal with the awkwardness if she or his mum makes a snide comment. I’m so tempted to just put it up, all the boxes are downstairs. My fiancé isn’t bothered when it goes up but thinks we should wait till Sunday because of his mum and sister.

You might not be confrontational, but do you want to be a doormat? Because this is so clearly none of her business, if you don't put your tree up you will spend the rest of your life doing what she wants. The tree is a Trojan Horse.

Either you win, or she does. There is no middle ground. And it's your house so you need the ground.

lesdeluges · 01/12/2023 14:36

I enjoy posts like this. That's because I'm sitting here waiting for an important delivery and the doorbell is broken and I'm partially deaf, and I am watching out the window afraid to move. LOL 😂

LylaLee · 01/12/2023 14:36

Yellink · 01/12/2023 14:33

I’m not a confrontational person so I would struggle to deal with the awkwardness if she or his mum makes a snide comment. I’m so tempted to just put it up, all the boxes are downstairs. My fiancé isn’t bothered when it goes up but thinks we should wait till Sunday because of his mum and sister.

"Don't rock the boat, wife. We must appease our overlords!"

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/12/2023 14:36

lesdeluges · 01/12/2023 14:36

I enjoy posts like this. That's because I'm sitting here waiting for an important delivery and the doorbell is broken and I'm partially deaf, and I am watching out the window afraid to move. LOL 😂

It's a public service!

Whataretheodds · 01/12/2023 14:37

My fiancé isn’t bothered when it goes up but thinks we should wait till Sunday because of his mum and sister

Oh dear. Are they going to name your firstborn too? Tell you which jobs you're allowed to apply for? What colour to paint the kitchen?

Livinginanotherworld · 01/12/2023 14:37

I know where I’d put the tree !!!

LBOCS2 · 01/12/2023 14:38

SleepingStandingUp · 01/12/2023 14:34

So either DF can do it Sunday or you do it today. Set these boundaries now before it starts on how your wedding has to be and how you must raise your kids

This. If you let them dictate this (which on the surface of things doesn't matter and you don't care about) it will set a precedent for all sorts of other batshittery you won't want to get involved in.

Put the tree up. If she starts wanging on about tradition, point out that your household has two traditions to take into account and surely she doesn't think your family's Christmas is less important than theirs?

JFDIYOLO · 01/12/2023 14:38

Put the fucking tree up. Now.

Bostonbakedbeans · 01/12/2023 14:39

You do what YOU want IN YOUR OWN HOUSE? It's none of her business!
If she gets the hump then she neednt come round. Is she 5 years old?!

I'd be taking notes on whether your fiancee is influenced by her moaning and checking up on you as it's the start of a slippery slope.

blacksax · 01/12/2023 14:39

How about telling her that your DP is marrying into your family just as much as you are marrying into his, so why should their family traditions take precedence over yours.

Or alternatively, get your DP to tell her to mind her own fucking business.

AnneShirleysNewDress · 01/12/2023 14:39

The ghost of Christmas yet to come. She's given you a peek at how the rest of your life will be. Put your tree up!

Renamed · 01/12/2023 14:39

Fuck her. Also the Tradition is tree up for the 12 days Christmas Eve to Twelfth Night so she is just wrong, and everyone should do what they like (as long as I don’t have to look at their flashy flashy lights going up just after Halloween)

howdoesyourgardengrowinmay · 01/12/2023 14:40

don't set a precedent of doing what they want you to do when it suits them. That's just fucking craaaaaazy and it will go on forever affecting every decision you want to make for yourself.

Just put the tree up when you want.