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Original poster

Being stopped because DS is in a pram

358 replies

cocoapple · 20/11/2023 09:30

DS is 2 (3 at the end of February) We are currently going through some assessments as he’s very delayed, I’ve been told it’s more than likely asd. He’s still in a pram as walking anywhere with him is a nightmare. He has no sense of danger, he’ll just run off and because he has limited understanding I can’t explain to him why what he does is dangerous and he wouldn’t come back to me if I called his name. I have tried reins, but he just throws himself on the floor or tries to walk in another direction.

I was walking back from doing the school run and a woman was walking a little bit behind me. She said “excuse me, he looks a little old to be in a pram” I told her that there were reasons why he was in one and walked off.

I got home and got a bit upset. It hurts to see other children his age and even younger walking next to their parents, I’d love for him to be able to do that but at the moment it’s not possible. In parks where it’s secure is ok but anything other than that is just too dangerous and difficult.

I just can’t believe someone would even say that. It wasn’t like a friendly chat or anything like that, she literally just said what she said, not even a smile.

OP posts:
Herewegoagain49 · 20/11/2023 09:38

Whoever said that is incredibly rude. And bizarre. It's none of their business.

My daughter turned 3 in September. Most of the time she walks but occasionally if we're in a rush or I know she's tired then I'll still put her in the pushchair, and it's not something I've worried over. Pay no mind to them.

PurBal · 20/11/2023 09:40

He’s 2!!!! Asd aside, he’s only 2.

Heresapickle · 20/11/2023 09:40

2 year olds in prams is totally normal, just ignore the silly woman.

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Tafaa · 20/11/2023 09:41

Absolutely none of that person's business, I wouldn't have even justified myself to her. Sorry that she's made you feel so rubbish, some people are just so rude! And for what it's worth, 2 is a perfectly normal age for a child to be in a pram!

Original poster
cocoapple · 20/11/2023 09:41

@PurBal I did think that when I got home, I thought “isn’t it normal for 2 year olds to still use a pram?”

OP posts:
GigiAnnna · 20/11/2023 09:41

I've got kids with ASD and I used to get comments about them being in a pram, on reins, their behaviour, everything. It's surprising how many strangers think they have a right to come up to you and tell you off. I used to argue back and end up upset and angry but I found the best way to deal with it is to just ignore and move away. If you have to say something, just say something like " that's none of your business." They aren't the ones who have to take your son out, and you are doing it to ensure his safety.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 20/11/2023 09:41

She was very rude. My dd was out of a pram by 2 because she used her scooter but I would never say that to anyone as you don't know the circumstances

Namechangedforthis25 · 20/11/2023 09:43

2 is more than normal. He must be quite large for his age.

to be honest even 3 is quite normal for long distances

she is a rude idiot- don’t worry

Dogsitterwoes · 20/11/2023 09:43

Pram or buggy/pushchair?

I'd think it very weird for anything other than a young baby to be in a pram.

Deadringer · 20/11/2023 09:44

My dc were in a buggy way older than that, I didn't have a car so sometimes it was a long walk and i needed the buggy to carry shopping etc, no one ever commented, and I wouldn't have been polite if they had.

Mamato29192 · 20/11/2023 09:44

Ignore her

Celebrationsnakes · 20/11/2023 09:44

Dogsitterwoes · 20/11/2023 09:43

Pram or buggy/pushchair?

I'd think it very weird for anything other than a young baby to be in a pram.

I was going to say this. Do you mean a pushchair?

Pinkpinkpink15 · 20/11/2023 09:44

I'm sorry she upset you, she was incredibly rude.

he's TWO, even if he's tall & looks 3, so what??

it's none of her fucking business & id be telling her that too.

carrying on doing what works & is safest. My cousins son was still in one at 5 because he was like your son. He was a big lad too, too big to pick up! We had to be very careful though to give a wide berth to ladies in dresses as he liked to grab their skirts/dresses & hide under them😫🤪

Heresapickle · 20/11/2023 09:44

cocoapple · 20/11/2023 09:41

@PurBal I did think that when I got home, I thought “isn’t it normal for 2 year olds to still use a pram?”

Yep, totally normal… in fact mine didn’t even start using a pram until nearly 2 because they were in a sling before then!

Original poster
cocoapple · 20/11/2023 09:44

She said pram but it’s a pushchair

OP posts:
drivinmecrazy · 20/11/2023 09:45

This is a relatively new thing.
When mine were little (they're mow 22&18) it was perfectly normal to have a three year old in a buggy.

If I'd have had to get anything done on foot we'd have starved!!
It's important for little ones to learn to use their little legs but it requires the patience of a saint!
I think it's just so sad that here in uk expect our children to grow up so fast.

Apart from the fact that a buggy is hugely useful to carry the shopping home!

Reallybadidea · 20/11/2023 09:45

That woman was very rude. You don't owe anyone an explanation about your child's private medical details. You don't even owe her a reply. We're all socialised to respond when people ask us a question, but there's actually no need. Easy to say with hindsight, but it's perfectly fine in that situation to just say 'OK' and walk off and don't be drawn into a dialogue or explanation.

buddy79 · 20/11/2023 09:46

What an incredibly rude woman. Also, she is wrong. Please don’t let her spoil your day - sweep her out of your head, smile, carry on.

saraclara · 20/11/2023 09:47

Dogsitterwoes · 20/11/2023 09:43

Pram or buggy/pushchair?

I'd think it very weird for anything other than a young baby to be in a pram.

Yep. Have the terms changed in recent years? I've noticed this in other mumsnet threads.
A pram is something that babies lie in, to me. Older babies and toddlers sit in pushchairs or buggies. But I'm a grandma to little ones, so happy to be told I'm out of date.

FridgeJenga · 20/11/2023 09:47

Some people are twats OP, she’s one of them.

Don’t let her rude comment upset you.

Deadringer · 20/11/2023 09:48

I just remembered when we were in Paris years ago we had to buy a buggy for our 5 year old as she was exhausted walking everywhere, if anyone thought it was odd we wouldn't have given a shit. Somehow she has grown up fine and walks everywhere as an adult. A buggy sounds like the safest option for your lo anyone who comments is an arse.

NorthernAttitude · 20/11/2023 09:49

You should have said "you look too old to not have learnt any manners".

Ignore her, it's perfectly acceptable but no-one else's business either way.

Debtfreegoals · 20/11/2023 09:49

Do you mean a pushchair op? My daughter the same age and some days is a nightmare to walk so she was unbelievably rude as I do the same thing!

AutumnFroglets · 20/11/2023 09:49

Quite honestly it depends on how far you walk. If you live an hour's walk away then it's a bit too much to expect evena four year old to walk that four times a day.

Next time correct her on it being a pushchair and not a pram. Be just as picky as them.

Sturnidae · 20/11/2023 09:50

Ignore, she's a twod. If you had him on reins you would have had a comment about that, you can't win. I hate to say it but you'll get used to it as a parent of an autistic child 😣