Being stopped because DS is in a pram

[cocoapple]

DS is 2 (3 at the end of February) We are currently going through some assessments as he’s very delayed, I’ve been told it’s more than likely asd. He’s still in a pram as walking anywhere with him is a nightmare. He has no sense of danger, he’ll just run off and because he has limited understanding I can’t explain to him why what he does is dangerous and he wouldn’t come back to me if I called his name. I have tried reins, but he just throws himself on the floor or tries to walk in another direction.

I was walking back from doing the school run and a woman was walking a little bit behind me. She said “excuse me, he looks a little old to be in a pram” I told her that there were reasons why he was in one and walked off.

I got home and got a bit upset. It hurts to see other children his age and even younger walking next to their parents, I’d love for him to be able to do that but at the moment it’s not possible. In parks where it’s secure is ok but anything other than that is just too dangerous and difficult.

I just can’t believe someone would even say that. It wasn’t like a friendly chat or anything like that, she literally just said what she said, not even a smile.

@35965a yes I’m sure this really happened

Ignore her, it’s none of her business and well he’s 2!! My son is nearly 3 (next week), doesn’t have ASD or any issues and he still goes in a double pram with his younger brother if we’re walking a decent distance or he rides on his buggy board of the single pram for shorter distances. I do let him walk sometimes but he’ll either try to wander off or he decides he’s not walking so he uses the pram/board. A lot of my friends have kids around this age and they still often use a pram for longer distances or when they’ll be walking near busy roads.

Aww OP I’m sorry that you got upset. They were extremely rude. You are clearly doing the best for your child. Unfortunately there are people out there who will say things when it is rude and non of their business. Maybe think of a couple of good phrases you can use the next time you encounter someone like that. Something that shuts them down. I actually think that at 2 and even older it is still common to use a pushchair as kids that age can tire easily. You know your child best and what works or doesn’t work so you keep doing you.

And when you thought people couldn't get any ruder...

And it always takes you so aback you can't think of an appropriate response (Fuck off!)

My pushchair is for children upto 5 years old. I intend to use it until then. My youngest is 3 and prefers to walk, but I go everywhere in a car. If I’m on foot like in the park in a large shopping centre, i take the pushchair with me too, because I know she’s going to ask to be carried as she tired easily

You know everyone do you?

Why do people feel the need to post stuff like this?

What a rude busybody! Try not to give it another thought, OP. It's perfectly normal for a 2 year old to still be in a pram.

How strange! I would think absolutely nothing of a child up to age 4ish in a pushchair even without any SEN. I routinely put my (very tall and looks older) 3 year old in a pram, not all the time but if we need to get somewhere and I don’t have time to stop and examine every stick/leaf/stone etc then she’s going in the pram and I have never had any comments! Ignore OP and carry on as you are.

A very rude and bizarre comment from a complete stranger! I can see why you were upset op, but really the problem is her not you or your child.

You should have just asked her what business it was of hers!

What an absolute cheek!

For your reassurance, I think up to three is absolutely fine, and depending on circumstances (weather, distance, having to watch other children and so on) up to school age is perfectly acceptable.

Even if he was 5 it would be none of her business. What a twat.

im the mother of a sen child and have had similar comments. It’s truly shit op but you need to think of a pat response and try and not let it get you down. You have enough on your plate - letting this stuff affect you isn’t worth it, you need to save your energy for productive fights.

he's not too old to be in a pram but she is old enough to know better.

how rude. my 2 were mainly out of ors at that age but if they were extra tired ( or I was) i'd still use one

I get comments sometimes about my three and a half year old, usually because he's having a distressed cry about the pain his dystonia can cause and the dystonic movements have kicked in, people think it's helpful to say something along the lines of "Awww, he just wants to get out and walk!". Walk? He can't even sit up yet still has limited head control and has very low tone meaning he's very floppy. I just smile, nod and thank them for their useless comments.

Ignore them OP, she hasn't walked in your shoes and has no idea.

@35965a I can 100% believe this happened. Some people are so entitled they say any crap that comes out of their mouth.
I was asked if I "had found Jesus" because he would "heal" my daughter (she was sat in a wheelchair with her arm in a sling wearing her sunflower lanyard).
I said something along the lines of "She's FINE" but in my head it was "F OFF".
I stayed polite - I wish I hadn't.

I am constantly amazed at how rude people are. And in her case, also stupid - From what I can tell, most children use a pushchair at least some of the time up until around about 4/when they start school. And there's that in between period around 3-4 where you have the pram handy because you MIGHT need it, but a lot of the time you don't.

None the less, even if she thought you were totally wrong, why does she think she has a right to say anything. Judge in her head, not out loud!

My eldest went to a forest school pre-school. Some parents collected their children and pushed them home in a stroller when they were 4. They had been outdoors all day and were absolutely shattered, it meant they could actually have a rest on the way home (which was sometimes a long walk).

You have no idea why a child may be in a pushchair and I think it’s incredibly ignorant to judge.

Sorry you encountered such a knob OP. x

My Grandson has ASD he was in a buggy until age 5.. People don't realise that ASD can also caused physical problems too.. especially in legs and feet.
He has specially made insoles his feet hurt so much.. hes nine now and still sees the physio and has painful feet and insoles made... he'd love to wear certain trainers or sandals but he can't.. just sturdy clarks shoes.
Dyspraxia also comes with ASD.

Tell her to fuck off. My youngest was in one at 4 because it was too far for her to walk her elder sibling to school and back 2x per day.

You don’t have to be polite in these circumstances OP, and you don’t have to justify yourself to anyone, let alone rude, nosy people. Just ignore and move away from them.

DS is three & we use our pram all the time.
WTF, is wrong with some people?

Because it sounds like OP is exaggerating, so I asked. She replied. Why do people post stuff like this 🤷🏻‍♀️

She was very rude OP - many years ago, long story short, we all had a NYE family function, all the docs came, My SIL, being very sensible dug out her old pushchair, the kid that was pushed home in it was 7! fast asleep, legs dangling, wrapped in a blanket, having had a lovely but exhausting night! No others buggers business.

How very odd, my DS is the same age (no SEN that we know of) and I don’t know a single DC of that age that does not use a pram at all. DS is quite a good walker actually but sometimes we go out for the whole day on foot/public transport and no 2YO will walk all of that. Sometimes we go out over nap time or intending to stay out past bedtime so the stroller is so he can sleep. Occasionally we’re just in a rush so it’s the quickest way to get to school/nursery. Either the lady is completely insane and knows FA about toddlers, or perhaps your DC is very tall and looks much older than he is but even then it was still so rude of her!

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Childrens-Bag-Reins/s?k=Children%27s+Bag+with+Reins

Bag with reins may be an option that works - they tend to see bag as theirs.

However a 2 year old in pushchair is completely normal - DD1 at 4 often went in - we had it due to younger kids. We found the tended to walk further if they knew option of pushchair was actually there.

It possible misjudging age - that happened a lot to DS - parents who "manage" without because they drive everywhere - or in case of none driving IL rose tainted glasses and poor memory - they basically instead we could mange 4 adults and one 3 year old we couldn't and hired a pushchair on holiday - on plus stopped them making these kind of loud comments at women with kids in pushchairs.

You definitely shouldn’t have been polite! In the moment though, you just don’t know what else to say though. How rude (and frankly crazy) of them to say that to you.