Being stopped because DS is in a pram

[cocoapple]

DS is 2 (3 at the end of February) We are currently going through some assessments as he’s very delayed, I’ve been told it’s more than likely asd. He’s still in a pram as walking anywhere with him is a nightmare. He has no sense of danger, he’ll just run off and because he has limited understanding I can’t explain to him why what he does is dangerous and he wouldn’t come back to me if I called his name. I have tried reins, but he just throws himself on the floor or tries to walk in another direction.

I was walking back from doing the school run and a woman was walking a little bit behind me. She said “excuse me, he looks a little old to be in a pram” I told her that there were reasons why he was in one and walked off.

I got home and got a bit upset. It hurts to see other children his age and even younger walking next to their parents, I’d love for him to be able to do that but at the moment it’s not possible. In parks where it’s secure is ok but anything other than that is just too dangerous and difficult.

I just can’t believe someone would even say that. It wasn’t like a friendly chat or anything like that, she literally just said what she said, not even a smile.

Seriously is she ill? I saw someone take their Year 2 child to their classroom in a pushchair this morning.

I used to get comments about DD1 not being forward facing at a year old.
I had a pram that could be either but I was in no rush to have her forward facing because I loved engaging with her about the world. In fact I think she was still not forward facing at two often.
I remember hating it when I couldn't interact or chat to her when she was forward facing.
How times change, and not always for the better 😞

Oh just ignore, she's probably just an oddball. Is he quite tall for his age? If not she's definitely odd.

I used the pushchair until my son was about 3.5 because I wanted to walk quickly sometimes. If we had time he walked alongside, but sometimes you just need to get around the supermarket, or rush back in time for the car park. In fact I have a friend who was still using a pushchair for her 4.5 year old sometimes, because she didn't drive and lived about half an hour walk from town.

For various reasons (being small, being autistic, having a medical issue with her legs) my daughter used a pushchair up until the age of 5 - and a few time up until the age of 7.
Of course she didn't "look disabled" so I got a few looks/comments.
It did hurt at the time but now (she's 15) I have learned not to give a f what people think.
You DON'T need to make excuses or feel you have to go into details about why.
It's NOT their business.
Standard replies:
"He's fine thanks"
or
"None of your business"
As the line in Bluey says "You're doing great" 💐

Is he big for his age? One of mine was and it made it even hard that he was being judged against the standard of a much older child. Not that there's anything to judge here, just only reason I can think of for her to possibly make that comment about a 2 year old. One of mine had an accident that affected his ability to walk for 18 months and was in a pram full time from 4-5.5. He used to run off a lot before that and thought it was hilarious to run away and hide from me. Some kids have no boundaries and they're much safer in a pram or with reins. Strangers don't know what your child or life is like, you're doing the right thing for your DC that's what's matters.

All kids are different. I sometimes used to push my 4 year old home from school in the buggy when he was in reception with his 18m old sibling walking alongside for the full 2 miles! He was exhausted and the 18m old had endless energy.

I've only ever got positive comments about the fact that I was walking instead of driving.

They are both active now, they never bloody stop running around from dawn till dusk. Comments like that are hurtful but please try to forget it. She doesn't know your circumstances.

I'm sorry you met someone so rude, OP. Sadly it may well get worse as he gets older and his behaviour diverges more from average. I used to cope with it by being the happiest (looking) proudest mum, while still doing my best to (obviously) manage my DS's behaviour.

Yes he’s big, not overweight but tall for his age

It never ceases to amaze me how rude, nosey and ignorant some people can be, and why on Earth they even care so much what other people do.

I couldn’t give a shit what anyone else on this earth is doing, let alone have the energy to comment on it.

2 is perfectly normal for a pushchair anyway.

'Excuse me Madam, aren't you a little old to not understand basic manners?'

2 is not old to be in a pram. Many kids are in prams for much longer. I know a child with spinal problems who was in a pram until 5 and now in a special almost-wheelchair large pram at nearly 7.

Nobody bats an eyelid at children being put in cars when they're capable of walking.

Kids go in prams when it suits them and they or their parents prefer it that they don't walk.

Both my kids were about 3 when I got fed up of pushing them (because we tend to only walk short distances) .

I still use a pushchair for my 4 and a half year old at times. Sometimes I use it when he is very tired and other times to keep him contained. A 2 year old should definitely be in a pushchair if they need to be and it is non of anyone else's business. You do what's best for you and your child.

Shes a rude weirdo. My kid has no conditions and was in a pram at that age. I don't drive and walk a lot, it's much easier with a pram.

I still use a pram with my almost 2.5yr old. I mean granted they do get out and walk too but for a host of reasons - if we're out all day, their little legs get tired, sometimes they need to just sit down and rest because they get a bit hyper, it's easy to give them a packed lunch on the move, busy roads, carrying shopping, or if I'm doing something particularly boring and need them to be quiet (e.g recently in a kitchen showroom and needed an hour to go through a consultation) - we can pass them a book or a phone to watch a cartoon. There's a thousand reasons we still take the pram with us.

I'm going to be quite sad to see it go actually - for carrying shopping it's brilliant! Haha.

Bizarre that she said that, bizarre she would say it even if you were pushing a 7yr old, she doesn't know you, but particularly bizarre for a 2yr old.

If it makes you feel better, OP, my NT (probably) 4yo comes home from her nursery school in a pushchair. Home is 1.5 miles away and she's hypermobile but the bigger issue that when she's on foot, she wants to pick up every leaf and chat to every snail. Her 9yo ND brother can't handle moving at her pace, and my DH needs to get them both home safely, so we do what we need to do.

I think I was in a push chair until I was about 5. I remember getting it on the school family walk 😂

Try to persist with the reigns as they are great for bolters.

Ignore her, she is are not living your life. My rule is that if I wouldn’t ask for this persons advice, then I don’t care for their opinion.

Thanks everyone. Glad to know I’m not doing anything ‘wrong’

Completely normal for him to be in a pram plus who cares. That woman was a fool. Don't feel upset for yourself or your child, feel sorry for her lack of understanding

Have a look on Amazon at hand reigns. Type this is

Baby Anti-Lost Belt, Baby Kids Safty Anti Lost Walking Hand Belt Wrist Link Bungee Leash Safety Toddler Harness, Travelling Helper

Something like this may work. Or those reigns that are attached to a backpack.

Stay strong OP.

It is perfectly normal for a 2 year old to be in a pushchair. She was exceptionally rude.

You were more polite to her than I would have been. How rude. Of course it’s normal. If the child was ten it would still be none of her business. My two year old is wild and we live on a busy main road, therefore, our pushchair gets great mileage. She walks plenty of places too, but we don’t drive so the buggy is still needed for longer distances. What a strange interfering woman. Some of the encounters I read about on mumsnet seem quite unhinged! I understand why you were upset but you really don’t need to worry, it’s her is the issue here!

Mine were in pushchairs until they were well into their 3’s because they were lazy 😬 (before anyone says anything, they are in their 20s and aren’t lazy now).
I would NEVER comment on an older child in a pushchair to anyone as it could be due to a child who has a health problem or additional needs needing one or the parent or carer not being able to run after a toddler that spontaneously runs off at a million miles per hour so having to confine them to a pushchair.

At age five I still used my umbrella pushchair for my DC admittedly occasionally. But there were the odd times when it was a fair trek (to get the car from its service) or I had limited time to get there.

Dont pay any attention OP, and is she makes comment again, just tell her he has medical needs and you’d rather she didn’t comment.

@drivinmecrazy
This happened to me and my DS is 28 now. He was big and talked early too.🙂

it was usually women over 65 in my experience!

I wasn’t great at walking as a very young child and I used a pram until I was almost 4. Even then I only stopped because my little sister was born and my parents needed it for her. I’ve also worked in a school nursery with children a year older than your son (3-4) and a lot of them were being taken/picked up from school in pushchairs so it’s quite normal I think.

Take no notice of the woman. She doesn’t know your son and needs to mind her own business. I think some people just like to give advice when it’s not needed or asked for. For some reason they think it’s helpful.

Are you sure this really happened? IME nobody cares if a child is in a pushchair at any age.

She’s an arsehole. Honestly the kind of stuff people feel entitled to say to women about pregnancy and child rearing is astonishing sometimes!