Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Being stopped because DS is in a pram

358 replies

cocoapple · 20/11/2023 09:30

DS is 2 (3 at the end of February) We are currently going through some assessments as he’s very delayed, I’ve been told it’s more than likely asd. He’s still in a pram as walking anywhere with him is a nightmare. He has no sense of danger, he’ll just run off and because he has limited understanding I can’t explain to him why what he does is dangerous and he wouldn’t come back to me if I called his name. I have tried reins, but he just throws himself on the floor or tries to walk in another direction.

I was walking back from doing the school run and a woman was walking a little bit behind me. She said “excuse me, he looks a little old to be in a pram” I told her that there were reasons why he was in one and walked off.

I got home and got a bit upset. It hurts to see other children his age and even younger walking next to their parents, I’d love for him to be able to do that but at the moment it’s not possible. In parks where it’s secure is ok but anything other than that is just too dangerous and difficult.

I just can’t believe someone would even say that. It wasn’t like a friendly chat or anything like that, she literally just said what she said, not even a smile.

OP posts:
caringcarer · 20/11/2023 11:07

How odd. He's 2 not 8. Perfectly normal for kids of 2 to be in a pram or buggy. You could practice with the reins in the park.

Parentofeanda · 20/11/2023 11:12

I'm confused too, my kids were in a pram til 4... They wouldn't walk anywhere but I never got any looks or comments :O

pontipinemum · 20/11/2023 11:13

WOW what a cow try not to let her comment upset you. Easier said than done I know.

2 is perfectly normal to be in a pram. I see much older children, (who to be fair I don't know anything) about in buggys and just presume their little legs get tired on longer walks so their parent brings it to give them a rest and somewhere convenient for the shopping!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families SEN
willWillSmithsmith · 20/11/2023 11:16

She doesn’t even know the difference between a pram and a pushchair. Pushchairs are totally ok for a child that age. What a busybody she is!

nobodysanybody · 20/11/2023 11:18

My ds was in a buggy till he was 8 - got lots of comments even tho he went to a SN school and was quite obviously disabled.

FF to age 13, he's back in a pushchair and I really regret letting random wankers influence me into

He has recently been diagnosed with a rare genetic condition which explains the mobility issues over and above the ASD diagnosis he got at 2 years old.

I wish that instead of politely explaining he had a disability, I had told these people to fuck off, then fuck off some more.

Wheeeeee · 20/11/2023 11:18

We're just starting to phase out the buggy for DS 3.5, but sometimes we need to get somewhere at adult pace or pop into the supermarket without him grabbing stuff off the shelves and so the buggy comes back out again.

Give0fecks · 20/11/2023 11:18

I’ve never heard of the difference in pram vs pushchair - they are the same thing to me. I would refer to it as a pram.

funnily enough I’ve just put my 3yo back in the bassinet 🤣 the lay flat bit. It’s a
double with a bassinet and seat, the 1yo wants to go in the seat and the 3 yo lounges in the bassinet like the Queen of Sheba. I really don’t care what people think. We’ve got a 45 min walk to and from preschool - she’s tired at the end of the day and she will walk a bit then sit in the pram for a bit. I’m not buying a more expensive double with 2 seats just because a stranger might pearl clutch 🤷‍♀️

MarilynSays · 20/11/2023 11:18

Ignore the rude person. If you see her again, I would explain to her why he is in a pram, just to watch her squirm with embarrassment!!! She might learn to wind her neck in then and mind her own business!

NortWestmum · 20/11/2023 11:19

We live in London and don't own a car. I used a pushchair until my LO was about 3 years old, and now that he is nearly 4 years old we walk a lot, but there are days when we use our pushchair. Please ignore the comments made by this lady. There are always a few out there being insensitive to mums.

Hoolahoophop · 20/11/2023 11:19

People are rude and you do not need to justify. I've always chosen smile and ignore. Sometimes I wish I were brave enough to educate. My DC was in a push chair at 3, 4 for long journeys and often needed to be carried to and from school in reception for at least some of the journey. People commented, people stared, people were ignorant. My very healthy looking child has some serious health issues that mean they tire very easily. Better to hitch a lift on the commute and be able to go to school than to force a walk for the sake of it and have them tired, or upset when there are more interesting and stimulating things to be doing.

DsTTy · 20/11/2023 11:19

How rude! I still push my 4 and a bit year old in the stroller as we have regular refusal episodes with walking.

Orangello · 20/11/2023 11:19

he looks a little old to be in a pram - and you look old enough to mind your own business.

Singleandproud · 20/11/2023 11:19

I still took a pushchair out with us for big days out zoo etc when DD was four (and the height of a 6 year old) I didn't drive it was the sensible option and she was definitely regularly in it at 2-3 years unless the point of our journey was to go for a walk.

I think with more people driving it's become the norm for people to not use pushchairs for the journey from car to destination as it's more faff setting it up.

Either way she was rude, she had no idea whether you were running late, whether he was ill, whether he had a disability or a myriad of other reasons for whilst you were using a pushchair and it was none of her business.

MyNewGenericUsername · 20/11/2023 11:21

Oh I'm sorry OP, we had loads of this when my autistic DC were small. I've often said we actually get less judgement now they're junior school aged because it's obvious something is different - how sad is that??

It shouldn't be this way but be prepared to grow a very thick skin.

TooOldForThisNonsense · 20/11/2023 11:21

Just ignore the rude bat x

Wannago · 20/11/2023 11:22

You will get a lot of this unless and until he gets some proper "medical looking" equipment. DS1 has a life limiting condition, complex special needs, and was noticeably floppy from 3 months, but when lying flat or in a baby suitable pushchair looked normal.

Lots and lots of comments. Including from busdrivers - you can surely take him out and fold the buggy (no, actually, I can't, he is too floppy, I am just trying to keep him in the pushchair as it is so much easier to push than a wheelchair).

The most annoying ones were directly or indirectly addressed to DS2, who was on a buggyboard from 14 months because his brother couldn't sit up, not mention walk, and the double pram we had was very unwieldy. People taking it on themselves to suggest to him that he should be entitled to boot DS1 out of the pram and take his place. DS2 was a walker before a talker (one of those who didn't talk until 18 months but then in whole sentences), but I think one of his earliest sentences was something like "my brother is disabled" or words to that effect.

Startyabastard · 20/11/2023 11:24

She's a silly bitch. If he was 8 and in a buggy it would still be none of her business, he's 2 ffs!!!
Fancy stopping you for that!
I would have been tempted to have told her to shut up.

chocolatefiends · 20/11/2023 11:26

All of ours were in pushcairs some of the time until they were just turned 4.

No SEN, just not an athletic family - they all learnt to talk early but they all walked late.

And sometimes I wouldn't have access to a car (if DH awas way with work for long periods of time) so the only way to get food shopping with a toddler in tow was to take a pram with a big pram basket on the bottom.

There are summer born reception children in my kids school who go home in pushchairs - they're knackered at the end of the day and a lot of families in the school can't afford a car so that's not an option to get them home. None of mine were summer born but if any had been I'd definitely have been doing the same.

gotomomo · 20/11/2023 11:26

Really, is he particularly tall? My DD's were in a double buggy until 4.5, eldest is autistic, nobody batted an eyelid.

ghostestwiththemostest · 20/11/2023 11:27

I used to take mine, aged 3.5 to nursery in a pushchair. It was easiest because, if not he used to ask to be carried up the hill on the way home and would lie down/tantrum if I refused. I used to also put both of mine in a pushchair if I went to the mall up until about 4. They would far rather sit, out their feet up and read a book/play on a tablet than being dragged around. Then after a while, I would take them to a book shop or cafe, let them out, read them a story, let them have a bit of a run around the atrium etc. It was a win win. I was able to get things done quicker and uninterrupted whilst they enjoyed themselves, then we could spend more focused quality time together. But that aside, it's none of her fucking business.

Takethehintandfuckoff · 20/11/2023 11:28

Busy bodys exist, and if you have a disability or disabled child you’ll be an absolute magnet for every busybody nutter and religious loop in the vicinity, so you’ll need to learn to ignore them. They are tiresome in the extreme so you’ll need some stock phrases at the ready.

ghostestwiththemostest · 20/11/2023 11:29

I also put my 5 year old in a pushchair for a day out in London as I knew that a full day would be too much for her legs, but wanted the rest of us to mostly walk.

gotomomo · 20/11/2023 11:29

By the way if you live rurally as we did, it's normal to see even school aged kids in buggies as it can be 2 miles to school, transport is only provided over 2 miles. After a full school day it's hard for kids to walk for 30+ minutes

BlankTimes · 20/11/2023 11:30

Lots of these and similar types online OP

https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/588099181/treat-as-wheelchair-sign-disabled-buggy

SparkyBlue · 20/11/2023 11:30

She was just a nasty cow. I had to drop my car for a service last week. DD is 4 but seemed to be brewing the start of a heavy cold and had just done a busy morning at preschool so was drained so I stuck her into the buggy for the 15 minute walk home from the garage as I knew she was cranky and tired. It's absolutely no one's business. I also have a dc with asd so I 100% empathise with needing to keep them contained and safe.