House is still a shithole. Pic included

[Shithole101]

A few weeks or so back I posted pics of bedrooms in my house. They were a shithole. Me/kids have managed to keep the bedrooms tidy /reasonable.

But my stairs and living room are a mess. I could probably have it all sorted in a couple of hours. But it feels like the end of the world. I feel so drained. And even when i do start doing it something really silly can happen then I feel like giving up.

Or like a few weeks back I started feeling really positive. And got loads done . But after that period of positive cleaning. I won't get that feeling back for a while and just stop.

It should be really simple but it does not feel like it.

I only get a bath /shower once a week sometimes less. I could smell myself earlier and all I did was use baby wipes under my arms and a bit of deodorant.

Anyway I have added photos again . To Shame myself into actually cleaning up .

I think the main thing is its moving forward and not backwards.
Over next few days I want to do general tidy ups. But in a relaxed manner.

Sounds like a very good plan and It's working OP!
😂the slightly shamefaced expression on your D Dog's face in that picture.

Just read your updates, and you are an absolute
Well done on saying "No" to your DD. It's a hard thing to do, but at some point they have to realise that you are Two Separate Adults, each with her own life, and things are therefore a little different now

🤣 shes not even the naughty one. Well occasionally a bit of team work will go on.

Thank you. I have Been out all day today .so nothing has got done. I will try and do a couple of small bits later. I did not really understand the 10 min of tidying up. Think I do now though.

And yeah I'm getting fed up with everyone taking the piss out of me. I don't think my kids even realise I'm human 👽

I need to stop being a prick with food. Sorting food like I'm feeding 8 people. I done a tray of shepherd's pie. But the tray is the same width of the oven. I'm only feeding 4. Now I have loads left . I don't think I can save Any. Because I cooked it Sunday. Fridged it till today. Then heated it today.

Get some cheap takeaway tubs OP. They do packs of 5 or more in Tesco. Then freeze individual portions on the day. So great having something to fall back on in the freezer when you can’t be arsed to cook from scratch.

I don't think I can freeze what I cooked tonight because its already been cooked twice

Unless you are absolutely, totally sure you are going to eat the leftovers within a couple of days, freeze them there and then.

I often freeze stuff in separate portions and, once frozen, pop them in a freezer bag. Saves having to find suitable containers - so much less faff.

Yes, do it on the day. Agree that bags are fine for stuff like curries, chili con carnes..

And even when i do start doing it something really silly can happen then I feel like giving up.

I’m like this and am diagnosed ADHD (nhs referral). Do you think you might have it?
I haven’t solved everything yet (still in a shithole) but my mental attitude towards my difficulties is different and I know I need various different kinds of help.

Would you qualify for PIP and could you use that to buy in regular household management/ cleaning/ tidying?

They are perfect for it, if you flatten them out and they won’t take up space like containers. And quicker to defrost.

I might just throw it out . I'm getting confused

I don't fully understand ADHD. I don't think its easy to get a referral via NHS. I definitely would not get pip

I can’t maintain my attention most of the time to do house stuff and most attempts are procrastinated anyway.

The other thing I thought of when you mentioned breathless and stairs was have you had your cholesterol checked and do you have a family history of early heart issues?

Surely it would still be ok to eat tomorrow, well I think it would anyway
Could you get a separate freezer or is there no room

No one will want it tomorrow.

Also I cooked it Sunday. Put it in the fridge (not freezer) and reheated it today. As it's been cooked twice I don't think I can cook it a 3rd time. I'm definitely going to get smaller containers

I don't see why you can't reheat it again as long as you get it really heated through. Or even freeze and reheat, just use it next week so it's not sitting in the freezer for months

Re the shepherds pie, I wouldn’t risk saving it this time but next time freeze half of it as soon as it’s gone cold. I do it with stews and soups, put into freezer bags laid flat in a plastic container until frozen then stacked in the freezer drawer . Labled of course.

We decided to eat it again tonight. Hopefully it's ok.

I'm sick and tired of being taken the piss out off. I decided I was only going to look after baby GS 3 times a week. At the time DD got the hump over it. I kept to what I said . This week she has decided to book driving lessons. Needs me to have baby GS . I told her in that case she needs to drop one of her gym days because I'm only having GS 3 times a week. She started ranting about how she may as well just give up only being able to go twice a week . It's not worth it. I pointed out to her that I Need time for me. And to do my own stuff. Then she said yeah but I feel like everything is being cut to the bare minimum. I said that's life you can't have everything you want. She then said a couple of other bits and I changed the subject.

Then I started thinking am I really that worthless that I don't deserve any time. Can she really not see that I get nothing back at all. I have always put my kids first . I know she's an adult but she's still my child. But it's like I'm not human.

I don't want to slag dd of i really don't. I'm just a bit fed up of not being recognised as a person.

Ffs. Twice a week gym session is pretty good really?

Do you get a twice a week gym session?

Nope, not that I would want to go to the gym. She does not seem to realise how lucky she is. Its like she thinks it her right.

Why does your daughter 'need' to go to the gym? What does she do at the gym that she cannot do at home? All she needs is a yoga mat and maybe a couple of dumbbells.

There are hundreds of good online trainers on YouTube. Growingannanas, Sydney Cummings, Heather Robertson, Caroline Girvan, Rebecca Louise - just to name a few.

Your daughter is a mother. A young mother, clearly, but she made a choice to have a child, so now she needs to take responsibility.

Time to put yourself not necessarily first but definitely not last, @Shithole101

@Shithole101 Then I started thinking am I really that worthless that I don't deserve any time. Can she really not see that I get nothing back at all. I have always put my kids first . I know she's an adult but she's still my child. But it's like I'm not human.

It's a 'her' problem, not a 'you' problem.

You're right to put your foot down and assert boundaries - don't let her guilt you into anything - she's the one being unreasonable, not you. Remember that!
She's used to getting her own way and needs a bloody big kick up the backside help to see how selfish she's being

Yeah logically I know. But still makes me feel guilty.

I have always had to do everything on my own no support , I was never able to go out not even occasionally. I didn't want it to be like that for dd but I think I have gone to much the other way. I'm going to stick to what I have said and just hope it dyes down