House is still a shithole. Pic included

[Shithole101]

A few weeks or so back I posted pics of bedrooms in my house. They were a shithole. Me/kids have managed to keep the bedrooms tidy /reasonable.

But my stairs and living room are a mess. I could probably have it all sorted in a couple of hours. But it feels like the end of the world. I feel so drained. And even when i do start doing it something really silly can happen then I feel like giving up.

Or like a few weeks back I started feeling really positive. And got loads done . But after that period of positive cleaning. I won't get that feeling back for a while and just stop.

It should be really simple but it does not feel like it.

I only get a bath /shower once a week sometimes less. I could smell myself earlier and all I did was use baby wipes under my arms and a bit of deodorant.

Anyway I have added photos again . To Shame myself into actually cleaning up .

Ok. So to recap

• previous thread with state of bedrooms
• op talking of having no energy, anaemia. Possibly other things but not sure
• eating multiple takeaways as can’t cook
• not washing herself to the extent that she could smell herself
• being low in mood
• very limited/unavailable support network
• state of the stairs and the lounge
• previous sw involvement with her children and now wider family

what I have actually said to all the above is that she should speak to someone and seek help. Literally just making suggestions and trying to reframe it to look at how her children might be experiencing things

Things are better for me now but the baseline was already pretty low so I guess it depends on your definition of better.
It is so frustrating seeing people tell posters like the Op to ask for help and to reach out. To who? You should know yourself how stretched services are. GPs don’t want to know. SS don’t want to know. There is no counselling available.
The OP isn’t choosing this life this existence. Look at her coming on to MN looking for support? This is someone wanting more - and look at what some people respond with?
All these posters saying go to your GP (which she has) what do you all expect the GP tp do? They have no resources either!

My very first post said I was hesitant to give a different view.

but that doesn’t make me any less entitled than any other poster to comment on a public forum.

my narrative just doesn’t fit what you want to hear

So you knew it was going well. But you still did it anyway

I was just about to say this. This thread certainly has taken a weird and unpleasant turn...

And just when you seemed to have turned a corner @Shithole101 . You seem much more upbeat and proactive than when you first posted!!

I hope you can keep going. Ignore those posters. Maybe change your username and start a new thread if you are looking for more support. 🌻

I’m not sure it’s helpful to just have people feeding your ego and telling your home is “warm” and “lived in”, sometimes tough love is needed.

yes you are addressing things now but how long have you been living this way? And by extension your children?

maybe what you need to hear is all the posters like me, advising you to speak out about how hard you are finding things right now

Just don't engage with the critics...

Here's what I do when I'm low on energy or feel overwhelmed.

Get a box or a big bag for life. Go to the area eg the stairs. Just put everything in the bag. Use a brush if needed. Take the bag/box, sit in the sofa with the tv or radio on and go through the bag with a bin bag next to you and sort the rest into rubbish vs piles one for each room it needs to go to/fold things etc

Repeat until I'm bored. Do another zone tomorrow

I know everyone has different experiences, but I worry that narrative could put people off from seeking support. There is support out there - maybe not always the best or what people really want and need, but it is there.

In the second lockdown, I had two kids under 2 and I honestly felt like I couldn't cope and I didn't want to be alive. I felt like life as we knew it was over and I'd lost my sense of myself. My GP saw me face-to-face, once a week, every week, for 6 months. Granted, they couldn't change the situation, but just having a safe space to talk where I wasn't judged and had a check in to aim for if I was feeling really desperate - it probably saved my mental health, if not my life.

Of course they shouldn't have had to do that, but they did and I'll forever be grateful for it. Sometimes they were tough on me, and I needed the honesty and the challenge. Maybe I didn't always appreciate it at the time! But their support did so much to help me through that time.

God forbid people agree with the OP that her is indeed, a shithole.

The whole thread is an attention seeking mess. The amount of enthusiasm and time the OP has devoted to this thread could have been redirected to the state of the house.

Even if she'd picked up a couple of bits every time she walked up or down the stairs would have made a significant difference.

But she can't...

Oh @KateyCuckoo brace yourself 😂

Bedroom =clean and tidy

Take aways due to lack of energy due to a medical reason that I can't change until its been looked into which is being done.

Can't cook ? Yet i have been batch cooking so that the take aways are much less.

Sw involved due to my son trying to kill himself and becoming violent. No concerns about my home. Oh and we reached out for help

Dd/gs social has been there long term its not new. This was due to domestic violence. He is a heigh risk offender both dd side of family and mine had to be moved under life in danger. My younger kids have to carry a picture of the offender that have instructions to call the police that they have to pass to an after such as a shop keeper etc which instructs them to call the police both our address have cameras alarms and heigh alert to police should they get a call.

So yes there has Been heavy involvement via social services

And not once have they raised concerns about my house even on a bad day.

But have you cleared your stairs yet?

I am chuffed for you that you had that support from your GP. Not all GP surgeries are equal. My last GP surgery sounds like yours - amazing. My current one? Overstretched, cover far too big an area and just cannot cope. No chance of getting an appointment on the phone (at 0801 you can already be 31 in a queue) and you aren’t allowed to book via walk in 🤷🏽‍♀️

To clarify, I meant can’t cook due to health reasons/energy levels, not that your don’t actually know how to cook.

apologies because that was unclear

@Shithole101, only take the positives from this thread. There will always be naysayers. I'll also stand up and say that it's pretty shitty of posters to dig through your old threads and bring things up that are no longer relevant.
I'll be the first to admit that I am terrible at keeping things tidy during the week - I put clothes on the banisters that can be worn again and lately have got into the habit of just throwing dirty clothes on the landing floor even though the laundry basket is another three metres away. I've mentioned this so you know I'm not perfect.
I don't know how much they cost these days, but I have some collapsible plastic crates. Could you get something like that and clear the stairs into one / two / however many you need? They could then be stacked up somewhere and you could tackle one crate at a time - have a plastic bag ready (a good way to recycle carrier bags if you have any). You could then put anything to be put away back in the crate and any rubbish goes in the bag. It would take you five minutes max and you could do it while you're sitting down having a coffee. You could even go through your sitting room too like this.
You could do this on weekdays and then put things away at the weekend - that's what I do to get things sorted (before I make a mess again!)
Don't beat yourself up. You know you want to change things and came here for help - that's a brave thing to do.

Oh bugger off and go and do something else rather than nit-pick.

Lots of thoughts here but I'll keep my comment constructive.
I noticed in your pics on this thread and in others that you always have big bottles of cola lying around in the kitchen and bedrooms and have also mentioned energy drinks in this thread and others as a way to get things done?
Like you, I've also struggled with anemia. (I'd also suggest getting your ferritin checked which is your iron stores as this can make you feel like you are wading through treacle when they low)
I was always advised to stay well away from caffeinated drinks when taking folic acid/iron supplements as it can inhibit the absorption. When I did this (I was a real diet coke fiend!) I found it far easier to boost my levels a bit. If you take iron then make sure you take it with vitamin c as well.
I hope you can feel better soon.

I'm genuinely hoping she has, its a trip and fire hazard. It should have been top priority

I know, I don't even know why I replied. Kind of kicking myself. I think that's actually rules about bring up old threads under different names. I have asked.

So all bedrooms are clean and tidy, 2 bathrooms are clean and tidy . 2nd and 1st floor landings are clean and tidy.

Ground floor . I have picked up the bits from the stairs. But Nedd to hoover them. Got rid of the large box . Kitchen is tidy

Living room I literally just done 5 mins and slapped dashed it. The hall way needs tidying as well.

I have batched cooked several meals for the week. So the days I am free I can use them to dedicate to the house .

I know, I don't even know why I replied. Kind of kicking myself. I think that's actually rules about bring up old threads under different names. I have asked

your op to this thread literally references the thread you made about the bedroom under the same user name….

That's good, @Shithole101. Make sure you take the time to do some self-care too.
Sunday late afternoon / early evening is the time I have a bath and loll around a bit with YouTube on my iPad and a glass of wine if late enough! I haven't been able to do it the last three weeks as I had two new tattoos and couldn't soak with them until they'd healed enough, so I enjoyed it all the more today! I'm now watching MIB international.

That's not what I'm talking about

Fair enough

I will try . I think I need to try and think with a different mind set.

Self care was spoken about at a support type group that I have been going to. Everyone was talking about what they do and talking about spending a couple of hours In their room alone , or they have a morning swim. Another said she regularly gos on spar days.
Because I have learning difficulties I don't always understand the words being used so I can't always understand what's going on so I have a brief 121 to go over stuff I don't understand. But I ended up crying because I felt so hopeless. I struggle to get a shower/bath and there people spending hours on self care. Made m me see what a fucking my life is and it felt hopeless

It sounds like you managed to get plenty done today op well done! Self care dosesn't need to be something big and grand. Just sit and have a drink and a biscuit or something you like if thats any easier for you? Please please start prioritising yourself a lot more. I know it's really difficult with everything you are dealing with, but if you are run down then you won't be able to help those you love. I know this from experience!
Also please let those that love you like your children take care of you now and then. Teach them to be kind and bring you a cup of tea.
Did I see you have a teenage daughter? Does she like hair and makeup etc. Maybe she could help you with your washing and grooming etc? Have a little hour or so together as some bonding time. It's good for her regardless of any special needs to recognise that you are human and need love and care as well. Sorry if any of that is useless!