House is still a shithole. Pic included

[Shithole101]

A few weeks or so back I posted pics of bedrooms in my house. They were a shithole. Me/kids have managed to keep the bedrooms tidy /reasonable.

But my stairs and living room are a mess. I could probably have it all sorted in a couple of hours. But it feels like the end of the world. I feel so drained. And even when i do start doing it something really silly can happen then I feel like giving up.

Or like a few weeks back I started feeling really positive. And got loads done . But after that period of positive cleaning. I won't get that feeling back for a while and just stop.

It should be really simple but it does not feel like it.

I only get a bath /shower once a week sometimes less. I could smell myself earlier and all I did was use baby wipes under my arms and a bit of deodorant.

Anyway I have added photos again . To Shame myself into actually cleaning up .

Someone that clearly doesn't understand depression every other reply has been absolutely lovely to the OP, but there has always got to be one

I'd start with the stairs, get a broom out, sweep everything to the bottom and then pick out the stuff you want to keep and bin the rest.

Once the debris is cleared you can give it a hoover and it will be so much better.

Sounds like depression - when even the most mundane of tasks feels like a mountain to climb.

OMG, I love that! Thanks!
https://goblin.tools/

Nasty

I know what I Need to do. Its the actual doing it . Sorry I will reply properly in a bit. As I'm just dealing with something

I think the first thing you should do is run a nice bath or have a hot shower (whichever you prefer), have a hot drink and before you clean the house look after yourself. When you’re done just get a bin bag and put everything from the stairs into it. Shove it somewhere.

The next day just hoover the stairs. The day after repeat again - shower or bath then the next room

Op I'm a cleaner and I visit a house that looks much worse then this every week. If you can afford it then a good cleaner could help you get back on track.

Mind you, I'm feeling just as daunted by the broken-down task 😂

I'm even worse than you, OP, but I also know that Just Doing One Little Bit is the way to get started. (That said, the laundry currently in the machine has been washed about 15 times, to stop it going mouldy 😳)

Do you have a friend that could keep you company/on task or even help you? I know my friends would be there in a heartbeat if I asked them to help me tidy and I would do the same. Please ask someone to help if you’re overwhelmed.

Are you comfortable financially OP? You could employ a cleaner for two hours a week and thats the housework ticked off.

More importantly than the housework though is you.

Do you work? Is it your house than feels overwhelming or is it other parts of your life too?

I worked with someone who thought similarly to you. She suffered from depression. She just could not get on top of housework but managed to come to work most of the time, she looked after herself ie she did her make up every day and dressed in clean, ironed clothes etc. She was lucky because she was married to someone who could help her. It would have been much harder on her own. She was on anti depressants which she said helped her a lot. I'm not saying they are the answer for you. It would be good if you could visit your GP for a chat though. Do you think you could organise that?

Stfu Catphone

Op, it's taken me 2 weeks to clean my house. Today was the first day out of the last 14 I felt that I'd actually achieved anything. I'm exactly the same as you - I can spend days procrastinating and have just one productive day out of the entire month. I've got nothing to add to the very good advice you've had from previous pp's, but just wanted you to know that you're not alone

OP is it just you and the kids?

How old are they?

Your house looks stunning and will look so nice once it’s a bit tidier.

The easiest way is to try and keep things clean - have a bin/bin bag in every room and a laundry basket on the landing.

Your kids need to learn to put their dirty clothes in the laundry basket and rubbish in the bin bags/bins.

When things get messy it can get really overwhelming and hard to know where to start.

Give your kids a bin bag each and tell them to put rubbish in it and put any dirty clothes in the bath (to be put in the washing machine later).

Put some music on or get your headphone and download an audiobook (you can usually get them free from your library or YouTube) and grab a bin bag and do the stairs.
Just focus on putting the rubbish in the bin bag and dirty clothes in the washing machine.

If you feel up to it then do the front room too, if not do the front room the next day.

Everyday I set aside 20mins to put my headphones on and clean.
It is easier to keep it clean, then keep having to start from scratch.
I sometimes get really into my music/audiobook and want to carry on or sometimes I just can’t be bothered and do the bare minimum.

You don’t have much cleaning to do at all.
It’s literally just finding the motivation to get started and trying to not get overwhelmed with it.

Goblin tools is awesome!!! Thanks for sharing it!!! I have ADHD and this is amazing.

OP, I know how overwhelming it must feel. I have been there. 💞

I would set a 5 minute timer and grab a bin bag.

Tomorrow set another 5 minute timer and vacuum.

Tonight after those 5 min, have a relaxing bath, light some candles. You are doing your best and don't underestimate how hard that is. 💝

I think i remember your previous thread Op. well done for posting to get help to do it. Set a timer for 5mins and tell yourself you only have to do it/tidy for 5mins and then stop and do something else. You’ll feel it’s manageable and it really helps.
off to look at that goblin app!

That's not nearly as bad as your post implies so please don't beat yourself over this
Do you have depression? I only ask as I have had episodes which have led to be being an inpatient
I would get a broom and sweep all the crap off the stairs to the bottom
Next get a dustpan and shovel into a bin bag
Go to bed
Tomorrow
Get up have a shower or a sink wash so you feel fresher
I resorted to wipes too, when I just didn't have the motivation
Have a drink and breakfast then go round the lounge with a laundry basket/ ikea bag so it's all in one place and sort it, sat down with lunch
Once you start, the guilt and shame at being unable to do it starts to lift

See how much you can do in a hour! Put a timer on your phone and work till the timer goes off. You will be surprised how much you can do!

I hope you will feel better soon, OP!
I wish you and your family all the best.

I think there's a bigger issue to address, (your mental health)

But addressing the cleaning alone

I have a room to clean tonight (bedroom) my motivation is thinking how much more I'll enjoy waking up to a tidy room tomorrow, how nice doing my hair and make up tomorrow will be if my dressing table is clear, and how much less stressful finding outfits over the weekend will be if my wardrobe is organised.

Try picturing yourself waking up, walking down your clear staircase, sitting on the settee with a brew and how much nicer it'll feel without the clutter around

Have you tried the 1 hour method? Set a timer and do what you can with 1 hour I almost always find that I get it all done before the timer goes off. I often drag my iPad around with me so I can watch Netflix at the same time and it doesn’t feel like so much of a chore! When I can’t be arsed before bed, I set a timer for 15 minutes and oooooh I sleep so much better knowing I’ve done a few jobs and the morning chaos will be easier! Don’t be so hard on yourself though, who invented the rule that we had to have tidy homes anyway?

Yes, but you've wrapped all your Christmas presents! Well done you!!
I remember your other posts. No need to shame yourself, but you do need to self refer to the NHS for low mood online. They do some great work on motivation and lifting mood with lots of tips. One tip is to set a timer and just do 10 minutes. Other tips are to start by doing something you enjoy, then switch to a less enjoyable task for a bit and springboard off the energy from the previous task. You need to plan your week and write down, not just what you will do, but exactly when. To do lists don't really work. Reward yourself afterwards. I know that you're having a tough time and, if I recall correctly, doesn't your son have some difficulties? That said, I don't think that they are treating you or the house respectfully by just dumping all their stuff everywhere. I would put up signs reminding/instructing them to do certain things in order to help you out.

Do one thing every day, no matter how small, even if that's having a wash. Chuck one thing out every day that you don't need. One day at a time, one more thing done. When you're feeling down that's a big achievement. When you feel a tiny bit better do two things every day, then three, then more. You can do it. Keep the stairs clear though and encourage your family to do one thing every day as well. If everyone's mucking in it will be so much easier.

Come on. You can do it 😘

Have you ever listened to Flylady OP?

She runs a website especially for people who find cleaning and tidying overwhelming.

She has a suggestion of putting a timer on for five minutes. Tell yourself that a visitor will call after five minutes. Then do as much as you can in that five minutes. You will be AMAZED at the amount you will achieve in just five minutes.

Another thing Flylady swears by is keeping the sink area clean. Just make sure that there aren't any dishes/pans around it and the sink itself is clean. It means when you want to rinse cloths/wash other things that you don't get waylaid by having to tidy the sink area first. You can just get straight on to doing what you had intended to do.

That goblin app has really pleased me - feel like it's scratched an itch in my brain!

Wow! Goblin tools looks amazing. I definitely need that in my life.