House is still a shithole. Pic included

[Shithole101]

A few weeks or so back I posted pics of bedrooms in my house. They were a shithole. Me/kids have managed to keep the bedrooms tidy /reasonable.

But my stairs and living room are a mess. I could probably have it all sorted in a couple of hours. But it feels like the end of the world. I feel so drained. And even when i do start doing it something really silly can happen then I feel like giving up.

Or like a few weeks back I started feeling really positive. And got loads done . But after that period of positive cleaning. I won't get that feeling back for a while and just stop.

It should be really simple but it does not feel like it.

I only get a bath /shower once a week sometimes less. I could smell myself earlier and all I did was use baby wipes under my arms and a bit of deodorant.

Anyway I have added photos again . To Shame myself into actually cleaning up .

@Shithole101 I remember your other post, you did so so well in the bedrooms and should be incredibly proud of your progress! It's easy for a stranger on the internet to say, but honestly try not to worry about it too much. Can you ask the children to help a little? Split a section between all of you? Even if it's just one step on the stairs a day, you have done it before and can do it again

Are you ok?

But how does all the rubbish get there in the first place, I don’t understand? Do you have rubbish in your hands and just chuck it on the floor? Same with the scattered shoes?

Plastic bag and toss everything then get the vacuum cleaner out. And once it’s done have a long shower. You can’t live like this. How can you relax in an environment like this?

The problem is that even 10 mins a day does nothing agathe tsunami of mess kids create😭. I understand how she feels because it's unending and futile😭

@femfemlicious yeah but you need to teach them to help tidy from a very early age. To be responsible for their toys. Most kids can do this. It’s more important than you think. But yes, it can be relentless..

Wait till everyone's out, get bin bags, fun music on really loud, then do a timed burst, being really brutal (not sure if anyone plays with/wears this any more? Bin it). Time yourself in 10-minute spurts and see the difference after every one. Red wine optional.

Hi OP, first of all well done on maintaining the kids bedrooms to a reasonable standard. I know it’s not easy with kids.
The stairs are a trip hazard so let’s start with that. Clearing them shouldn’t take long . Stick a song on, (keep the telly turned off, otherwise I wander in to watch something, next thing a hours gone by and the place is still a mess) Right, shift that big box for starters then start at the top, working your way down, get a couple supermarket plastic bags ( or a box ) bin any rubbish into one bag, anything worth keeping goes into the other. ( Sort the keep box out later)

Once you’ve finished relax with a cuppa.
If you’ve still got energy make a start on the living room. Shove the washing either into a basket or the washer.
Then do a little self care for yourself, either run a bath or take a shower. You deserve it. You’ll feel better.
Then make an appointment with your gp, you sound depressed.

I think your house is crying out for a rubber broom! They are magic at gathering stuff together, and you could do your stairs in about 5 mins. I do find a new gadget inspiring with cleaning!

Agree..unless op is depressed, then even the thought of putting on loud happy music would probably make her feel even worse..

This isn’t too bad OP! You can do this.

Set a timer for 10 mins. That’s easy to stick to.

Do 10 mins of tidying today and 10 mins tomorrow. Then see how you feel about your new tidy house.

It might give you the motivation to do more

My trick when the entire house needs doing is to put a YouTube playlist over the speaker. One track per room, so 3.5 mins, then move to another room for the next track. That way a tiny area can be tackled during each song (make one bed, clear one kitchen surface, change bathroom towels) and gradually the whole house is much tidier after a couple of hours dashing room to room without having to be stuck in one room all that time. Unfuck Your Habitat on twitter is very good, I don't think she updates any more but her old tweets are very supportive and she struggled for a while.

If you are feeling dreadful do just one stair every 30 mins. Or stick a stacey Solomon on while you do all the stairs. Once they are safe it'll look so much better.

Hey OP, no judgement here. I’m terrible at making a mess when I’m feeling overwhelmed by life. I also feel like it might be depression, even if you don’t think it is atm. (The part about not showering etc)

Loads of good advice about actually what to do here but I haven’t seen many, at first glance, about how to make the time to keep on top of stuff. Do the kids have a routine? I assume they’re pretty young. Making sure mine were in bed at 7 every single night (even weekends!) due to them having a good, consistent routine with the same wake up time and scheduled naps when younger was the best thing I did. It meant I could shower in the hour or half hour before they got up, drink my water (which I was terrible at doing when too busy), have a healthy breakfast and get dressed before waking them up when young. Then at night, I spent the first half an hour blitzing my house then making dinner and relaxing and even doing some chores if needed like a bit of ironing. It was the only thing that helped me keep on top of stuff.

With babies, I remember thinking “There’s no way they’ll go to sleep at 7 or nap for that long” etc but I was amazed that they didn’t take long to get into a routine and now wake up by their body clock! Worth a try. Consistency is key I found. Same with keeping on top of mess. If I hade a couple of days off, I’m usually back to feeling like I’ve got a mountain to climb again so your post really resonated in that respect.

💐

Is it possible you have ADHD op? I have just been diagnosed and my house can get like this but I get very stressed about the house being like it.

I find I clean better with earphones blasting music, it quiets all the other thoughts going on and I get less distracted, I didn’t realise this was a symptom of my ADHD but apparently it is.

I have 2 disabled DC and understand how difficult it is to get out. Do you have time in the school day to get some fresh air away from the house or a partner to help you with all this?

It does sound like you might be depressed tbh, the low energy, difficulty tidying and cleaning and not wanting to see anyone...

About the house, I think just start, the 15 minutes would at least clear the stairs.

I don’t know if minimising this is helping the OP. The mess is very bad, it’s not conducive to family life and it cannot be helping her mental health.

This. For me historically it was always Britney's second album... singing into hoover also optional. 2 tracks per room tidying then hoover the lot at the end. I bloody hate cleaning but it makes it more bearable to have the end point of the end of the album and once you get into it passes quickly and then you feel better for the rest of the weekend for having done it.

OP, you are so organised you have already bought and wrapped christmas presents! You are winning. I can relate to the feeling of fatigue. I really can. It is a never ending task. What helped me was to put my favourite song on and I would tidy up until the song finished. You could do your stairs that way. Stairs one song. Living room one song. If the children are over 2 you could do a 'tidy up race' and say that you are all on the same team and you have to all tidy the stairs before the song is finished.

It looks massively overwhelming @Shithole101 and I totally get it - all those little bits of crap on the stairs - this could be my house!

When I feel like this, I stick on very fun loud music and basically force myself to dance about picking stuff up and sweeping as I go. It's actually amazing because one song lasts, what, 3.5mins and you get so much done so fast and you know you can top when you're finished.

When it's done, I make a retrospective to-do list of things I've just done, and I tick it all off on one go.

Good luck with it all - you'll get there! It's so normal for our homes to look like this, between working and loving our kids there is only so much energy left in all our tanks. You aren't alone and you're doing a great job 😘

I really think you my be depressed, but the problem with a home that’s untidy is that it also contributes to the depression. Can you ask for help from a frend or family member with the house, but also book appointment with a doctor .

You are a strong woman you can do this set a goal that you are going to get the house sorted for 1st December so that it looks good for the Christmas decorations do it for yourself and do it for you children.
BUT PLEASE GO TO THE DOCTOR.

I agree. And it’s more how the mess got there in the first place, cleaning won’t help if the next second everyone throws rubbish on the floor instead of in the bin.

Maybe a small bin on the stairs since the stairs seem to be a problem area?

Totally agree.

OP, you need to shower every day, being clean yourself will make you feel better and more able to manage the house.

No clothes out of bedrooms. You say you can't ask the children to help yet say the older ones have been maintaining their bedrooms so they can absolutely help. Tell the children they need to put things back in their rooms when they're finished with them and that's it. Bin if they won't do it.

Throw the box on the stairs in the bin. Get rid of the crap that the dog chews and keep the dog away from crap. It will make the dog sick. 5 medium to large pets is far too many when you're not coping.

There are a lot of excuses but if you want your house to be clean then just clean it, it's not helping your mental health wallowing in it and looking for sympathy.

I saw now that it’s the dog making the mess on the stairs..

I do the timer thing others have suggested. 5 mins isn’t enough but 10 sounds big so I do 7 or 8. Can get so much done in that time, you will be really surprised and won’t resent such a short time. Same for showering, just think: I’ll have a quick one. I bet you can clear those rooms in 8 mins and probably Hoover too. You’ll be able to gather sort and put a load of laundry on too. But I agree, shower first, it will help a lot.

As PP suggested, when I have a task I don't feel like doing, I set a timer for 10 min, and just do as much as I can in those 10 min. When the timer is up I can stop, but often I find that I've got into it so might do another 10 min.

Messy stairs are a safety hazard. They are your priority, even if you just sweep everything into a big bag then sort it later. Keep your stairs safe.

All said with love.