None of the Friends Co stars have posted anything on Instagram about Matthew Perry's death

[Itiswhatitis85]

Maybe they have posted elsewhere, just find it strange that none of them appear to have acknowledged it on Instagram, especially as they all seem to be pretty active on there.

What do you want them to say? Their actual friend died would you feel better if they gushed on insta about how sad they are or maybe devastated that sounds better doesn't it !

Honestly who cares? They don’t need to share or publicise their grief. I find it mind blowing tbh the attention this has got seeing as the other atrocities that are happening atm.

Mourn porn at its best. Or should that be worst?

WTF would/should they?

If your friend had died in tragic circumstances, would your first thought be "Oooh, I must post something heartfelt on social media, so that the whole world can direct their sympathy towards me as I turn this in to a media circus, rather than focus on the actual person who died"?

@Hobnobswantshernameback it doesn't impact me at all, did I say it did? It's a forum, I'm allowed to have an opinion

They are probably profoundly shocked and really struggling to process it. One of my dearest friends died suddenly in very tragic circumstances 10 years ago and while my head knows that they are gone, my heart has never got over it. I can recall the utter shock and disbelief when I got the news as if it was yesterday.

why should they make their grief public? Let them be.

@TheDandyLion wow , is there really any need to be so aggressive , anger problems much?!

It's turned into a strange and depressing world if the measure of someone's grief is judged by how much they emote on their socials.

That means they care more about mourning a friend in private than marketing themselves. Speaks volumes. He was their friend, not yours, they owe you nothing.

This.

It's strange that you think a grieving person would give a shiny shit about an Instagram post for a bunch of strangers.

Their colleague of 10 years, who they became extremely close to and built a friendship that has lasted 30 years has died. They’re all in their fifties and so they’ve been friends for over half their lives. I doubt they’ve even started grieving and are still in shock, perhaps hoping this is some bad dream. To put words to it, to articulate that grief makes it real.

Even if they are usually big social media users, they won’t be able to use it at the minute. How do you even begin to form a sentence about what you’ve lost when the minute you open social media, your friend’s face is there. Then you scroll down and his face is there again. How do you begin to understand your own grief when everyone else’s grief is being shoved in your face?

I always got the impression they were very close as a group.

They also know anything they say will have the eyes of the world on it- they'll be putting together a statement carefully I would say.

It's all grief tourism on fb etc though, when my dh died someone commented on his friends page "Oh no, I'm numb. I'll fucking miss you my friend" I had no idea who they were, I had never met them in 17 years and dh never talked about them.

I imagine if they ever do lose someone close they will be "shaking and crying".

Apologies, maybe I have just gotten used to and accustomed to celebrities posting up about deaths on Instagram. But no need for people to get personal and nasty

When my close friend died unexpectedly called her mum right away, I went to hug her family + cooked for them while they were busy processing. I walked her dog everyday until she found a new home. I didn’t post on social media.

In fact 4 years later I still haven’t posted on social media. Grief is private for many people. especially when it’s new and raw.

living a public life doesn’t require you to perform that grief outwardly for the public.

I don’t think it’s at all strange

Seriously. Are you insane?
They can do whatever they want when someone dies. It must be crushing for them all.

A group statement makes sense, I never thought of it that way. Sorry if I offended anyone with my post, it wasn't my intention

I agree that's it's more dignified what they're doing. Most of the tributes from people online so far have been more about that person than Matthew Perry himself. It's all for attention and likes.

It makes sense that they haven’t. When someone close dies it is not my first thought to go on Instagram. All the people who have done are more acquaintances than real friends.

People seem to feel that they "own" people in the public eye and are "owed" some sort of reaction from them.
Its weirdly self absorbed

Thing is you have forgotten that they are human and you are annoyed/ confused/ whatever that they are acting like humans and not rushing to placate you, would you feel " better" if they shared their sadness?

I mean the general you.

To be fair OP, I don't think it's just you whose expectations have been tuned this way, emoting over social media does seem to have become some sort of de rigueur component of grief. Personally it depresses me, though. People feel sadness and grief in different ways and we don't all express it by emoting publicly.