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Original poster

None of the Friends Co stars have posted anything on Instagram about Matthew Perry's death

315 replies

Itiswhatitis85 · 30/10/2023 11:11

Maybe they have posted elsewhere, just find it strange that none of them appear to have acknowledged it on Instagram, especially as they all seem to be pretty active on there.

OP posts:
Froodwithatowel · 30/10/2023 12:32

They must be shattered. They knew and worked very closely with him. Performatively instagramming a response is probably not high on their agenda, as it wouldn't be to the majority of normal people when shocked and grieving.

Original poster
Itiswhatitis85 · 30/10/2023 12:32

@megletthesecond not insane last time I checked but thanks for asking

OP posts:
cardibach · 30/10/2023 12:33

Be honest, @Itiswhatitis85 if they had posted your thread would have been ‘How callous and attention seeking to post on insta for likes when your friend dies’ wouldn’t it?
People can’t win.
I think their way is natural and normal, by the way. What would a SM post be for? News agencies have told us all he’s dead. We all know they were friends in real life, not just the show, so obviously they are sad. What’s to post? Why?

TripleDaisySummer · 30/10/2023 12:33

BirthdayFlower · 30/10/2023 11:14

Honestly, the closer someone is to the deceased the less I'd expect them to immediately get on social media. They will be grieving and in shock.

This.

I do feel sorry for many celebrities families/friends who must feel pushed into making public statements at most difficult times for them.

Burnoutwhat · 30/10/2023 12:34

This is a really unpleasant thread. What's odd about it? I don't even friends I actually think it's quite problematic but somone who was central to their lives for a long time died. They don't owe anyone a certain approach to grief.

almondseagull · 30/10/2023 12:36

Itiswhatitis85 · 30/10/2023 12:17

@TheDandyLion wow , is there really any need to be so aggressive , anger problems much?!

I kind of agree with @TheDandyLion - leave them alone

Londiniumrocks · 30/10/2023 12:36

Jesus, give them a second to breathe! This isn’t some ‘ I met him once at an audition in the 90s and he was lovely’ moment. These people we’re together for a very long time through something that drastically changed their lives, so I would imagine the last thing they want to do is fire out some quick tweet that will remain public forever…

Original poster
Itiswhatitis85 · 30/10/2023 12:37

@almondseagull I am leaving them alone, I'm not actually doing anything to them.

OP posts:
MinnieL · 30/10/2023 12:38

BirthdayFlower · 30/10/2023 11:14

Honestly, the closer someone is to the deceased the less I'd expect them to immediately get on social media. They will be grieving and in shock.

Exactly this!

housethatbuiltme · 30/10/2023 12:38

A girl I know died earlier this year (pretty young and very sudden).

She was decently famous in her genre of entertainment (think youtuber etc...).

Her family didn't announce the death to her friends for over 3 weeks and still 5 months on have not informed any of her fans on the fan club or websites. Family have asked everyone keep it quiet so they can grieve.

They are even still posting her backdated material that she had been working on (which frankly I would hope people would see the completion of my hard work after I die too).

Don't know if they ever plan to tell fans. She announced she was stepping back from the spotlight about 2 months before dying (possibly from health issues) but had been working hard on a backlog of work so people aren't surprised at not physically seeing her. Wonder if fans will ever figure it out or if they will just think she quit and disappeared.

NotLactoseFree · 30/10/2023 12:39

I posted a death-announcement of sorts later in the day my mother died/ As did my siblings. This was because we all knew that we had a wide extended circle of contacts who would genuinely want to know, and who would not be getting personal notes and would not see the death notice in the local newspaper.

Other than that, I have not felt the need to ever make an announcement of my grief on social media when someone dies. I have sent personal condolences to family members of deceased people - via a card, or perhaps a text message. I have responded to social media posts where people have announced a death.

It does not seem weird to me at all that these people, who worked with him and were close to him for many years, have chosen not to share their grief with the world. I hope each of them has family and friends to support them in their OWN grief, in real life.

willWillSmithsmith · 30/10/2023 12:41

Itsnotallaboutyoulikeyouthink · 30/10/2023 12:12

Honestly who cares? They don’t need to share or publicise their grief. I find it mind blowing tbh the attention this has got seeing as the other atrocities that are happening atm.

It’s not a competition. There’s room for different types of news and the last time I looked there didn’t seem to be a limited amount of internet space to fit the news in. There are many platforms where you can choose the news you watch catered to your own preferences. It’s also quite the thing that humans can have more than one piece of news in their brains at a time. Pretty amazing yes?

housethatbuiltme · 30/10/2023 12:42

NotLactoseFree · 30/10/2023 12:39

I posted a death-announcement of sorts later in the day my mother died/ As did my siblings. This was because we all knew that we had a wide extended circle of contacts who would genuinely want to know, and who would not be getting personal notes and would not see the death notice in the local newspaper.

Other than that, I have not felt the need to ever make an announcement of my grief on social media when someone dies. I have sent personal condolences to family members of deceased people - via a card, or perhaps a text message. I have responded to social media posts where people have announced a death.

It does not seem weird to me at all that these people, who worked with him and were close to him for many years, have chosen not to share their grief with the world. I hope each of them has family and friends to support them in their OWN grief, in real life.

This too, when my mother died we deliberately DIDN'T announce it as there where vultures that people didn't want to swoop in and be grief thieves (although some still managed).

My mam had a tiny circle in real life so no need for me to announce it to my old uni friends and random facebooker I met on holiday once and added as a friend etc... everyone in her life knew first hand and even sat by her bedside.

EnjoyingTheSilence · 30/10/2023 12:44

Wow! Can’t believe you’re trying to read something into this.

You do realise that these are actually people who have lost someone suddenly. Not everyone feels the need to put everything on social media.

Lose10kyesterday · 30/10/2023 12:45

@Itiswhatitis85 - Lucy Davis, Jasper Carrot's daughter, who worked with Matthew Perry on Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, posted very movingly about her experience yesterday on the platform formerly known as Twitter.
https://x.com/RealLucyDavis/status/1718562782101287190?s=20

mrmagpie · 30/10/2023 12:47

I think it's right they haven't posted. Social media is such a cheap way to look like you are doing the right thing, but I actually find it really odd all these people posting photos of themselves with him - as if they need to prove they had a relationship.

His death was sudden and tragic, no matter his past demons, and his poor family had cameras shoved in their faces yesterday. There was helicopter or drone footage of a crime scene tent in his garden and his actual body being put into an ambulance- it's ghoulish and so so tasteless. And utterly symptomatic of the problems with social media and people's need to have 24/7 insight into the lives and minds of people they have never even met.

OfcourseitsaNC · 30/10/2023 12:49

Wow. Just wow.

When did SM become so important if you're grieving a dear loved one?

The other 5 will do what they need to when they need to.

BlackLotus · 30/10/2023 12:53

So what why should they publicly post anything about this? Whats it got to do with you? I'm sure they grieving privately and have spoken to perry's family and that's all that matters. Not that they post a comment for you to see

BardRelic · 30/10/2023 12:54

"We are shocked and saddened by Matthew's death and request that people respect our privacy at this immensely difficult time". There you go OP. Read that and pretend it's on Insta. I'm not sure what difference it makes to the quality of anyone's grief, but it seems to be a requirement of some modern etiquette or other.

MenopauseSucks · 30/10/2023 12:54

Warner Bros TV released a statement & I think that is all that is necessary.
Let the others grieve.

EachandEveryone · 30/10/2023 12:57

Gwyneth Paltrow just put a lovely story on Instagram about their teenage romance. I like to think some of these people do write posts themselves even if they don’t actually put it on the internet themselves. What’s nice about it is other people replied who were also at that Summer camp that year so lots of catching up between people after 40 years.

I thought I wouldn’t beable to watch Friends for a very long time but actually I dived right on and watch all three parts of the proposal last night and I couldn’t even remember seeing it so that was a bonus. I blubbered.

YouOKHun · 30/10/2023 12:59

Itiswhatitis85 · 30/10/2023 12:15

@Hobnobswantshernameback it doesn't impact me at all, did I say it did? It's a forum, I'm allowed to have an opinion

What was your opinion @Itiswhatitis85 - that there was something to read the lack of comment?

You’re getting a negative response from all the people with pent up frustration at the performative emotional displays on social media and perhaps their own experiences of close personal grief (I’m in both categories). Also frustration at the urge of many to make anything into “content”. Strong alternative opinions or negative reactions to your post are not necessarily “trolling”. I’m not quite sure what debate/conversation you were expecting?

The problem with social media is that avid users forget that there is a massive majority for whom it is not important or plays no real part in their lives and that includes celebrities who outsource the job of posting on SM. Lack of SM comment does not equal lack of feeling or some sort of conspiracy of silence.

Angrycat2768 · 30/10/2023 13:01

PTSDBarbiegirl · 30/10/2023 11:34

Social media virtue signalling obviously isn't their priority. This makes me like them much more.

This. Why do you think they haven't posted? Do you think that they are happily going about their business not caring that their friend and colleague has died, because they didn't announce how sad they were on Social Media? Or is it more likely that they genuinely were good friends and are devastated by his sudden death, so need some time to process it before worrying about what they look like on Social Media?

HideTheCroissants · 30/10/2023 13:03

Well I haven’t posted on any social media when my parents died or close friends. I was too busy… you know ….. GRIEVING! I’m not a fan of “performance grieving” TBH

Oblomov23 · 30/10/2023 13:03

Why is this strange?

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