Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

None of the Friends Co stars have posted anything on Instagram about Matthew Perry's death

315 replies

Itiswhatitis85 · 30/10/2023 11:11

Maybe they have posted elsewhere, just find it strange that none of them appear to have acknowledged it on Instagram, especially as they all seem to be pretty active on there.

OP posts:
Hobnobswantshernameback · 30/10/2023 11:37

Grief vultures are the worst

Hbh17 · 30/10/2023 11:37

They absolutely don't have to "perform" for the public. If my friend had died, I would just be trying to understand it and, I'm sure, very much wanting to keep my thoughts and feelings private. These bereaved people can do whatever the hell they like.

minou123 · 30/10/2023 11:37

LeonBlack · 30/10/2023 11:22

Good for them. Far more dignified and appropriate than jumping straight onto Instagram as so many have done.

I agree.

I think there should be a shift to stop this expectation to make a statement on social media, when someone dies.

When someone dies there seems to be a competitive rush to get a "RIP" statement on social media.
For some people, they seem to come to an illogical conclusion, that if you don't post something on social media = you didn't care about that person.

If anything, my respect for the friends co-stars has significantly increased because they haven't rushed to post on Instagram.

Underneaththestars · 30/10/2023 11:38

They are probably in shock/grieving. It's barely been 24 hours. They don't owe the public a statement.

SerafinasGoose · 30/10/2023 11:38

GonnaNeedABiggerBag · 30/10/2023 11:14

Aside from the expected joint statement, I expect they are devastated and are taking solace together. I applaud their social media silence, it’s dignified and feels appropriate.

Amen. I hate this comparatively recent attitude that every tragic or remotely controversial event requires instant comment from anyone with even the slightest involvement, that silence is impermissible as a response, and that anyone choosing to maintain such a silence should immediately be pilloried.

No one owes others their responses. And not everyone is of the belief that the whole world is queuing up to hear their opinion.

It might be a better world if this were an attitude more people took.

YouOKHun · 30/10/2023 11:38

When my dad died I didn’t put it on social media because it wasn’t a priority for me. Later I realised that certain people expect you to put things all over social media to make it easier for the ones who don’t really give a shit to click on a “heart” and feel like a sympathy box is ticked or have their curiosity satisfied. Those that are close to the person who has died or close to those that are grieving don’t need social media and don’t owe anyone else a press release about how they feel or what has happened.

Barneysma2 · 30/10/2023 11:39

I really really really hate this world we live in now, where you can only show that you are mourning someone's death if you put a public statement out on social media. It's literally been not more than 24 hours since he died, leave them be, I am sure they will release a statement when they feel dam well ready to.

Theydontknowthatweknowthattheyknow · 30/10/2023 11:40

Tbf none of them are massively present on sm. One of Jen Aniston's most recent posts is from a year ago and admits she isn't sm savvy. And even if they're on there hourly they don't owe you their public grief. They are likely beyond devastated and can't even begin to find the right words right now and might well be focussing on consoling his real friends and family not pandering to people who've never even met him. It's quite sickening that whenever a celeb dies these days the reporting articles are almost entirely about what other celebs have said about them on sm. I'd hate for one of my closest friends/family to die and just know that the whole world is immediately waiting for me to write a shakesphere-worthy essay about how much I loved them. Just let people grieve in peace

SnapdragonToadflax · 30/10/2023 11:40

Good, I'm glad. They will be devastated and it must be deeply weird and unsettling to lose the first of such a tight-knit group. They shared a formative experience when they were young-ish and will feel bound together, even if they're not all close now.

I assume some of them will post something eventually, but they don't owe the public a word.

Misssassy89 · 30/10/2023 11:40

Good for them! They don't need to post on social media.

RisingSunn · 30/10/2023 11:40

Their extremely close friend has died.

Itsnotchristmasyet · 30/10/2023 11:41

BirthdayFlower · 30/10/2023 11:14

Honestly, the closer someone is to the deceased the less I'd expect them to immediately get on social media. They will be grieving and in shock.

I agree.

When the person is poorly or older, then they would be expecting it.

But this would have come as quite a shock to them and they probably need time to come to terms with it.

I couldn’t imagine going on SM until at least a few days after someone died.

TheresaBouvey · 30/10/2023 11:42

Very ghoulish and inappropriate OP

jays · 30/10/2023 11:44

I’d have found it distasteful if they’d said something too soon, they must be devastated! When you’re in that state it’s just not the time to ‘remember someone fondly’ you’re too in it…too in your grief to even think about that.

HeritageBlooms · 30/10/2023 11:44

ForfarFourEastFifeFive · 30/10/2023 11:30

Posting on social media is about you, not the person you have lost. It’s performative and seeking attention. The dead person doesn’t know you’ve posted it. If you want their friends and family to know how sad you are, send them a card or message directly. There’s something wrong with people who seek attention and sympathy for a bereavement by posting on social media.

This 💯

WonderingWanda · 30/10/2023 11:45

The fact that they haven't immediately jumped on twitter with some virtue signalling post has made me love them all even more.

ElleCapitaine · 30/10/2023 11:45

Their friend died. They don’t owe you, me, or anyone else, anything. They have always been a classy, close, and private group with loyalty to each other, not randomers on the internet.

daisybrown37 · 30/10/2023 11:45

Poor David has press outside his apartment, where he is with his children.

Give them some time and space. It is appropriate that his family put out their statement first.

dudsville · 30/10/2023 11:46

I feel for them. Everyone's waiting to hear from them. Everyone is going to be looking for them at the funeral. Interviewers will want to talk with them about this from now on. I can't imagine what that's like.

dudsville · 30/10/2023 11:47

I bet this will even be raised in reports of their own future deaths.

Notalldogs23 · 30/10/2023 11:47

Obviously you care a lot more than they do

LadyEloise1 · 30/10/2023 11:48

BirthdayFlower · 30/10/2023 11:14

Honestly, the closer someone is to the deceased the less I'd expect them to immediately get on social media. They will be grieving and in shock.

Absolutely.
What is it with wanting to post everything on social media ?!

elliejjtiny · 30/10/2023 11:48

It probably feels too private to post about. I didn't post on social media when my dad died. I keep social media for happy stuff, jokes and memes about cats.

Whatadayyyy · 30/10/2023 11:49

Why do folks think that as soon as something happens like this peoples first port of call should be making some post on social media? Would that really be your first thought if one of your friends or family died? Come on

DancingEverywhere · 30/10/2023 11:50

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Swipe left for the next trending thread