Mumsnet bullies

[Netflixandsnacks]

To think that after reading replies on mumsnet, it's obvious that school bullies never change as they get older.
The downright nastiness for no reason, from grown adults. It's horrible to read, especially when it's a thread where the op is already feeling awful or is in a bad situation. These people must really have something awful in their lives to feel the need bring someone else down to make themselves feel better. It's sad really. I feel sorry for people that are that miserable in their own lives.

Do you have any threads in mind?

I've seen a few of these as well op. Plenty will be along to tell you you're wrong but you're not

Totally agree, some very horrible and miserable people out there. I feel sorry for them and their pathetic, empty lives.

Yes, that's true. There's a lot of mean girls and mean would-be girls on MN.

I suspect some of the worst are incels posting as women. There used to be obvious abusive male campaigns to infiltrate MN. Now they've gone underground.
But yes, it is upsetting to know there are also women who feel the need to kick other women in the face.

I mainly feel sorry for them to be honest. They wait to kick others when they’re down, ready to nit pick and derail at every opportunity. It’s annoying, but I think the underlying reason is unhappiness.

My young daughter has a mean teacher and last week she said “he just wants everyone to be as miserable as he is” and I think that rings true for many posters on here.

For example-

’I am upset that Matthew Perry has died’

’Jeez get a life, you didn’t even know him, stop being a selfish cow’

I completely agree OP. There are some really vile horrible nasty women on here. I think they must be very miserable with their own lives to have such hateful views on other people's lives

If you scroll through most threads you'll usually find at least one uncalled for twattish comment, even if the thread subject is something inoffensive or mundane.

Yes I agree OP. I have read 3 such threads this morning. There are some posters who literally jump straight in to any thread they can to put the boot in.

Some awful hurtful comments are made purely aimed at upsetting the poster / there should be a separate site “mean mumsnet” aimed to hurt , upset and have equally harsh words sent back to you

I think a good example today might be the way that some of the posters saying they feel sad about Matthew Perry dying are facing insinuations that they are mentally unstable.

I also agree with pp ^^ that a lot of the 'mean girls' are incels, MRAs and TRAs looking to mess up MN as a forum for (mostly) women. But there are some mean women too - if you've followed some of the tribunal threads on FWR you will have seen it in real life.

It's inadequates with tiny lives looking for easy routes to a feeling of control and 'power'. Wankers, really. Sometimes literally.

There's some awful bullies on here. People with agendas, people with too much time on their hands and dissatisfied with life miserable feckers Some will get their mates to wade in if people argue with them. I know that because I'm in a private group, offshoot of one of the critique groups, where people have alerted others or asked for help.

Report the same people who are doing it is generally the advice given. If enough people complain it can be sorted out. Or just hide the thread and walk away, and possibly name change. It's pointless to argue with them.

Agree that some are just MRAs!

I agree with this post about the influx of misogynistic males coming on here to put the boot in at every opportunity, plus their handmaidens.

It’s awful isn’t it? I fell victim once but luckily the post got removed by MNHQ. I do think there needs to be an option for the OP to remove the thread themselves if it starts to get too nasty.

People can just be incredibly nasty, heartless, selfish and negative towards others unfortunately.

I hate it when people ask for advice re their child's behaviour and ok might not be dealing with it the right way bit we have all done that. Someone comes on and says be a proper parent or parent properly instead of useful advice. People are down as it is don't need kicking down anymore.

A private group on MN or elsewhere?

There was a recent post where the OP was very upset at almost having a motorway accident. Some of the responses questioned her driving ability, whether she should be driving at all. The worst mocked her reaction (being upset). Really nasty nasty way to respond to a distressed woman.

Elsewhere, sorry.

I saw this and it was absolutely disgusting how some people spoke to her.

This is an interesting example.

Firstly, there’s no need to be calling anyone a selfish cow.

The rest of it is harshly and aggressively worded, but the sentiment seems to be “why? Why be upset at the death of someone you never knew and who is just one person, when millions of other people you don’t know who are also ‘just one person’ are dying everywhere all the time?”

Personally, both things (OP and the reply) are totally unnecessary things to say. But that’s 97% of MN really so 🤷‍♀️. I don’t see the reply as bullying, necessarily. It’s aggressively worded - but as everyone knows this is an open internet chat forum. Not everyone is going to post with good language and plenty of forethought, OPs included. You have to expect it. And, the underlying message isn’t a bullying one: it IS weird to get “upset” about something like this. It’s not being sympathetic to the OP, it’s not even walking by silently when you don’t have anything nice to say…..but it’s not bullying, to me.

What is horrific bullying on MN, to me, is the pile on you often see. Post after post after post all saying the same thing. Every poster is entitled to post. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. But sometimes those posts add up to literal hundreds. If the OP is vulnerable, it must feel after a couple of hundred posts that the whole world is against you and coming after you.

I think every user needs to accept responsibility, for posting their OPs and their replies. People are weird. We’re all random strangers. You see a lot of good on MN, but also some horrid stuff.

The nastiness is unfortunately down to name changing.

On other forums where it's not allowed, continually nasty/bad tempered posters are given a wide berth because no-one likes them, just like in real life if they behave that way 🤷‍♂️

However, on Mumsnet you can be as nasty as you like within talk guidelines and then slip into a lovely shiny new name and be as sweet as sugar.

But without name changing, Mumsnet really wouldn't work so it's a case of take it or leave it I'm afraid.

Agree, Op.

I was the op on the Matthew Perry post and knew there would be a couple of snidey comments. People are just awful.