How old were you when your parents died

[Fahhgedaboutit]

And how did you cope? DH and I are mid 30s and lucky enough to have both our sets of parents still here. But I’m increasingly aware of their ages and that we have limited time left with them and the thought of losing them puts me into such a panic.

How do you cope with losing the people that love you more than anyone else in this world (I appreciate not everyone has that relationship with their parents)? My parents are so, so lovely and I couldn’t imagine life without them or the grief ever ending.

10 and 32.

Mum went first.

Grief is always hard, and I'm much more able to cope with Dad's death than I was mums.

You'll find that life still goes on, just without them in it. So birds will still sing, dogs still bark and the world's still shit, only just a bit shitte now.

It's not something you can ever prepare for.

I had just turned 30, heartbreaking. Had just had a baby, the youngest of four, one of my children is disabled too, honestly not having my mum is the hardest thing ever.

I was 20 when mine both died. It's led to a pretty tough adult life for me in a lot of ways. Wish I could have had enough time for them to see me grow into a 'proper' adult as it just got ripped away so fast.

34 when my dad died and 51 when my mum went. Dad was sudden when he was 67, mum a lot more drawn out when she was 84.

You can't really prepare to be honest. I still miss them but it's not an everyday pain.

At your point in life I would just continue to enjoy their company and try not to think about it.

27 & 45 Df first.

I’m lucky enough to still have my Dad but I was 39 when my Mum died. I miss her so much still, 6 years on but you manage because you have to and you learn to trust in what they’ve already taught you.

28 Father
48 Mother
Both dropped down dead.

19 when Dad Died and 34 when Mum died

I was 47, he was 84
I was 52, she was 93

47 then 50.

You grieve for them and in time the pain diminishes, then you can remember them with a smile instead of tears.

Just as they did when their parents died, and every generation before. Its a normal part of life, so make your parents proud by facing it with courage and determination to get through it.

I was 27 when my mum died. My mum was only 57. It really affected me big time, understandably. It did change me to a degree

46 when my Dad died (he was79) and 53 (89) when my mother did. I lived in a different country to them half the time and my mother moved permanently after my Dad died.
I felt my father died before his time - he was travelling, playing sport, still had a lot of living in him. My mother - I think it was her time. She had survived cancer and lived with a chronic disease and after a couple falls in her early 80s definitely deteriorated in her mobility. The last couple years she was not well and required carers, though her mind was intact. But her quality of life was poor as she struggled with her health. It was easier to come to terms with her death because I felt she had lived a long and eventful life but her body had had enough.
However, in between those deaths, 14 years ago my husband died unexpectedly at 51. I still grieve to this day. Telling my four and six year old he was gone was the hardest thing. I'm not over it. But you get up and keep going because you have to.

33 when my dad died in his 60s. Suffered poor health for some years. Mum died when I was 61, in her 80s, In the grip of dementia. I think most folk would consider themselves quite lucky to reach their 50s and still have their parents alive in good health. Not so good when you have to witness the decline into dementia /alzeimers. It's a very cruel condition

36, my dad died last year. My mums still alive. My dad was 64, I miss him every day. The first year is the hardest and then it's not as raw, not easier just not as raw.

My mum was diagnosed a few years ago with a medical condition and roughly the life expectancy after diagnosis is 4/5 years, she is doing ok just now but it's hard dealing with the fact I might lose her in the next few years. I'm an only child and not very close to broader family so I do struggle with the prospect of possibly no family in a few years.

Flowers 💐 to all above posters. I was 17 and 38. It's hard knowing I'm "top of the tree" now, but I'm glad that I had to deal with it when I was that young. I think if it happened at my age now it would tip me over the edge

48 for both my parents, but mum had dementia so I lost 'her' at 35 if that makes sense

I was 20 when my dad passed away.

Life felt unfair and for awhile I hated Father's day, I felt jealous when other people talked about their dads doing nice things for them or spending time with them. Grief does weird things.

Now i'm 29 and I no longer feel jealous etc but I miss him a lot x

53 when my Mum died in her mid seventies, still have my Dad though see him once a year at most for various reasons. To be honest the last decade of Mums life was pretty awful and her going was a blessing in many ways. No less sad but more painful for the times that didn’t happen than the reality.

It made me realise that when my youngest child is the same age I’ll be in my 90s and that’s really got to me. I wish I’d had my DC younger so I have more time with them as adults but my own experience teaches me that there’s no definites and you have to appreciate the now as much as possible because it can all change so quickly.

DF- 13
DM - 54

30 when Mum died at 59 from cancer
56 when dad died at 86 with dementia

Miss them both and so wish my DM had met my DH.

I still have my Dad, I'm 47. My mum died when I was 21 she was only 50 (my sister turns 50 this year). I still struggle with it now to be honest, I miss her all the time and have mourned all the things she missed out on. It does change you as you never really get over it.

Oh and my Dad didn't cope at all at the time, it sometimes felt I had lost both parents. We have often had a strained relationship since as he's not very good at communication and never really understood me, which I think made everything harder for me.

I am estranged from my mother and haven't seen her since I was 19, can't say I have missed her, but it does leave a void. My dad died when I was 22, and it hit me much harder than I ever imagined it would have.

Gosh these stories are heartbreaking. I am so so sorry for all of you.

Mum’s alive, 85 as is stepdad, 78. I’m 59.

No idea about my dad, haven’t seen him for 49 years. Haven’t heard he’s died. Couldn’t give a monkey’s if he has.