How old were you when your parents died

[Fahhgedaboutit]

And how did you cope? DH and I are mid 30s and lucky enough to have both our sets of parents still here. But I’m increasingly aware of their ages and that we have limited time left with them and the thought of losing them puts me into such a panic.

How do you cope with losing the people that love you more than anyone else in this world (I appreciate not everyone has that relationship with their parents)? My parents are so, so lovely and I couldn’t imagine life without them or the grief ever ending.

I’m so sorry that too many people lost their parents so young.

9 for father
22 for mother
Both sudden deaths
I felt for at least a couple of years that people were lying about my father, I couldn't make myself believe it. I was considered too young to go to the funeral, it would have helped me a lot if I had been allowed to go.

I was 38 when both parents died, 5 months apart. They were 62 and 66.

It has been 24 years and I’m now 62 and I still haven’t really totally got over losing them, particularly my mother. I don’t cry every day now, and can laugh at the good times, it took me a good few years to get to that stage.

12 months- Mum was 42
37 years - Dad was 83
I never knew my Mum but grieved more for her as I got older. I believe my life would have been very different if she had lived.
I count everyone so lucky to have known their Mum.

4 when DM died (of cancer) and 48 whed DF died. I don't really remember my mum. 3/4 grandparents lived until I was well in my 40s and I miss them more. I still think to call my nan when there is any news and she died 9 years ago.

My mum died when I was 28, she was 55, this was 25 years ago. It is the single biggest thing to impact my life, in so many ways. One thing that helped at the time was someone explained to me that you never get over it, because to get over something means you no longer care, and this will never be the case. How right they were. I am still grieving her every day and cry regularly. I miss her so much. I can only carry on because I carry her example and her teaching with me. I also make sure my own children know how much I love them all the time, just in case!

I was 2, dad was 37 I find it hard even now.
Mum is my world, I cannot even start to think about how I would feel.

Mum died age 50 when I was 28 and my dad age 69 when I was 38. Some of my most vivid memories are around the time each of them died

My husband's parents died when he was 15 and 30. Myne died when I was 50 and 54

You cope

27 when my mum died of cancer. 50 when my dad died. He killed himself. He was a manipulative lying alcoholic who made my mother, step mother and me very unhappy. I don't miss him a jot, and am relieved he can't get to me or my family any more.

Much love and compassion to anyone who has suffered loss, and especially to anyone who had a difficult parent 💐

My mum has been dead 27 years and I still miss her. The worst part is that she never met my children.

44 when my dad passed. He was 79.
Mum is still with us. She is 79.
Nothing ever prepares you, but life still goes on. We can cope with so much more than we ever believe we can. Inner strength finds a way x

44 when I lost my dad. Mum still alive. My husband's mum is still alive but his dad died before our daughter arrived so didn't meet her. Husband was 36.

Mum - 13yo
Dad - 36yo

The effects of my dad dying were very minor compared to mum's. I'd say I only just got over my mum's death around age 30.

13 and 25

It's horrible.

I remember chatting to one of the grandmother's at my dcs school...she was in her seventies and casually mentioned she was going to visit her parents that weekend. Genuinely blew my mind.

DH lost his Dad this year at 50. His mother is still here and so are mine, I’m 45.

None of my same age friends have lost parents yet but it is obviously going to start. My Dad had a near miss this year with a stroke.

20 when my mum died (cancer) and 22 when my dad died (heart attack).

Totally true that you never get over it, just learn to live with it. As I was so young I never really had the chance to have an adult relationship with my parents so I very much mourn my lovely childhood but I would imagine if your parents die when you are in your 30s, 40s, 50s etc then you also miss that adult relationship too.

I am the age my mum was (53) and I have recently had a diagnosis of terminal cancer so unfortunately my teenage children will have to deal with this too.

Yes it's sad when they go.
Life isn't the same.
You have to keep going for the sake of my kids, who are now grown and don't give a flying fig.
...How is that ?????????????

I’m lucky. 40, and 51. I feel sad now when my kids reach milestones I know mum and dad would have loved to see.

Losing a loved parent as a child, or even in your early 20s would be utterly, utterly shattering.

@TwigTheWonderKid I’m so sorry 😢

31 and 32
Mum was killed by a drunk driver whilst I was in hospital giving birth.
Dad died of a broken heart the following year.
I obviously miss them both but the loss of my mother in the way it happened at the time it happened has had major repercussions throughout my life.

12 and one still alive

you never get over it

I lost my Dad when I was 33, earlier this year. He was 71. It was an unpleasant and drawn out death from an asbestos related cancer.

I had so much anticipatory grief in the 2 years before he died, knowing it was coming, that while I was very sad when he died I didn't really grieve. There was so much to do, I didn't give myself the opportunity. I think I'm only really starting that process now. He's on my mind all the time and I'm constantly tired. Mum is only in her mid 60s so I hope we have her for a long time yet, but you just don't know. 💐to you all, especially those who lost your parents very young x

15 for my mother, just into my final school exams. Hers was expected due to a long illness, but still devastating.

33 for my father, just before I had my first child. He was ill but his death was still sudden as he deteriorated so quickly.

I miss them both everyday, but I'm glad to be at a point where I can focus on the happy memories.

Lucky enough to have mine both still together and here. However I have a turbulent relationship with my Dad, and me and my Mum are very close. I am my Dad's only child (Mum has another daughter from first marriage). I dread my Mum going first as there's only me who'll be around for my Dad. I also dread my Dad going first as my Mum does absolutely not deserve that. I think about it and dread it, all the time.

Bear in mind, OP, that you'll disproportionately be hearing from people who lost parents earlier than average, so I think you have a goodly while with your parents unless they were 40+ when you were born, and even then.

My dad only lost his father 5 years ago and my dad was 68 at the time.

My mum has a life limiting illness so is probably in her final decade and her health is getting so much worse that I am aware the day is coming closer when I'll get that dreaded phone call.