How old were you when your parents died

[Fahhgedaboutit]

And how did you cope? DH and I are mid 30s and lucky enough to have both our sets of parents still here. But I’m increasingly aware of their ages and that we have limited time left with them and the thought of losing them puts me into such a panic.

How do you cope with losing the people that love you more than anyone else in this world (I appreciate not everyone has that relationship with their parents)? My parents are so, so lovely and I couldn’t imagine life without them or the grief ever ending.

23 when my mum died - devastated me as had not long got married and she never got to be a grandparent. 38 when my dad died but was never close to him so didn’t bother with my kids much. My husband doesn’t have parents either so my kids have sadly never had a grandparent relationship & i was very close to my maternal ones growing up. (I’m 40 now)

38/44. To be honest, mum had a long drawn out illness before she died, dad was ill for a year with brain cancer, so, it was a blessed relief when they both got peace from their suffering. A discussion round euthanasia really needs to had. I miss them of course, but it’s been decades now, still think of them every day though.

These are all so young! I'm 46, DH is 50 and both sets of parents are still with us and still seems fairly healthy.

I used to work in a cafe that had few ancient customers who would sometimes bring in their even more ancient parents - hopefully that will be us!

I lost my dad last year at age 28
He was 66 so relatively young
My own dad lost his own dad when he was 25 and his dad was 61.
I miss my dad every single day but you do cope and I have many good memories of my dad

DM - 21
DF - 22

It was quite a traumatic 9 months, DM had a brain aneurysm and then DF was diagnosed with lung cancer.

The thing that upsets me the most sometimes is he won't see his granddaughters grow up
They are 7 and 2 and my dear nan (dads mum) who is almost 90 has outlived her son which was heartbreaking for her

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52 dad

7 when my dad died.

42 when my mum died.

l miss my mum every single day, even though it was 17 years ago.

My dads death however had the biggest impact. I think of mum with sadness and a smile. I think of him as raw agonising pain. I don’t really remember him. In my young adult hood l suddenly became aware that all these people had dads and l didn’t. It had a severe effect all my adult life.

I was 31 when I lost my Mum, she was 60. I felt very sad that her and my daughter were denied the chance of the relationship I had with my grandmother. They had hardly any time together.

I’m 39 and still have my parents - recently lost one (and the first) of my grandparents. It was very sad, the one I was closest to. I don’t have a relationship with any of the others. It’s quite unusual to still have all 6 (one set divorced and both remarried) grandparents at my age I think.
Dds best friend lost both parents last year aged 18. Devastating.

I'm 49 and both my parents are still alive - I'm lucky. They're now aged 81 and 86 so I'm aware it is likely to happen soon. Both currently in pretty good health.

7 Mum she was 30, 38 Dad he was 64, also lost my only sibling 3 years ago so alone now, I really feel the loss of all of them still.

Lost both my parents very suddenly and unexpectedly two years apart when I was mid-30s. It was far too young (for me, and for them - both were in their late-50s).

I'm very fortunate to be 55 and still have them both. DH was 58 when his mum died last year, his dad is still alive.

I was 22 when my dad died from an accident, he was 55 so a very big shock. I’m in my 50’s now and my DM is early 80’s and fighting fit. Quite a lot of my friendship group have lost both parents in recent years and there is such a finality when both parents are gone. I know I’m extremely fortunate to still have my DM & thoughts are with those who don’t

I was 20 when DF died at 68
And 50 when DM died at 85 having remarried to a lovely chap.

But when they died they were both sick and old and tired and ready to go. So I can't be sad.

I would have liked DF to have met my DH - if only to show I wasn't going to end up with the useless wasters I'd been with til then. 😀

I'm sadder about my FIL who went suddenly at 65 having only just retired. He would have been a tremendous grandad but we were all robbed of that. And DH having only just become a dad himself was just getting to understand his dad as a person not just 'Dad'

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60 mum

I was 53 when my mum died, she’d had dementia and it was heartbreaking. My dad had cancer and came to live with me after we lost mum. I cared for him for three years until he died, I was 56.
7 years after losing mum I still regularly get the urge to ring her and tell her something and then realise I can’t. 😔 Losing my parents has left a gap for sure. I don’t think you ever get over it but eventually the dreadful pain gives way to acceptance. I can remember them now and more often smile than cry although I’m teary writing this…
All I can say is make memories now but do please enjoy this time you have and don’t spoil it by dwelling on the inevitable.

I was 49 & 51. My parents were 86 & 87 when they died. My DD also died the same year as my DM so that wasn't a good year! My DH lost his DF 3 years ago. His DM is still alive at the age of 95. DH is 62. We realise how lucky we are to have had our parents for so long and that none of them had dementia.

Just turned 11 when my dad died - still affects me to this day (now in late 40s). My oldest DC is 11 now and I'm so aware of it 😕 Thankfully my DM is still with us (mid80s).

Dad when I was 31 and he was 66, secondary cancer. We weren't close though. Mum died in April this year, just before her 81st birthday of undiagnosed colon cancer, which took her within 5 days of being admitted to hospital. I spent a month sitting on the sofa chain smoking, in a grief stricken daze of disbelief. I'm 53.

I miss her every single day. It's less raw now, but still catches me from time to time. I have her photo in my living room that I talk to. I've quit smoking again too.

I was 18 when my mum passed and a year later my dad passed away. Threw me off balance as both were fairly sudden although after long illnesses.

Gradually you get used to not having them around, there are times when you miss them, miss the time you could have spent with them as an adult. The grief never gets smaller but life grows around it.

I miss them both every day but you carry on.

I was 48 when my dear dad died at 82. He’d had a lot of ill-health for years - asthma and latterly a heart-attack - and then he developed vascular dementia. My wonderful, heroic, uncomplaining mum looked after him with minimal help from anyone; their GP and social services were fairly useless.

Mum had cancer when she was 85, just as dad was showing the first symptoms of dementia. Incredibly, she recovered. But we’re sure that the radiotherapy she had caused, or at least greatly contributed to, the heart and lung problems that made her increasingly unwell, and she died at just past her 97th birthday, when I was 61.

She was a quietly incredible woman. I loved her so much and although she was a great age, I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to her. I still miss her every day.

7 when lost dad, mum still alive and I’m mid 30’s so lucky in that regard.

having lived most of my life bereaved of a parent, I can tell you that grief is forever and you never “get over it”. The pain is always there. But it ebbs and flows. You can live very well even under the awful weight of grief. There is hope.
Life is chain and when we die, the good we do is left on earth forever.

I was in my early 20s when my mum died. She was in her 40s. Dad not around. I had to take on my younger siblings.

There have been so many times over the decades where I really could have done with having my mum. But it is what it is. You never get over it, you just get on with it.