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Original poster

Will you/did you request for your child to move out when they turn 18

404 replies

parateach · 26/10/2023 00:27

Will you/did you request for your child to move out when they turn 18

And if not, will you request rent?

Thank you

OP posts:
Ladyj84 · 26/10/2023 02:19

Why would you request a child regardless of age to move out weird..unless they are causing big problems none of ours will get asked to move out unless voluntary. But will be expected to contribute a small amount towards rent etc and house chores one they gain a job or some form of income

NumberTheory · 26/10/2023 02:25

Aphroditee · 26/10/2023 01:56

Well if it’s a maintenance loan then surely they will be in student/private accommodation during term time. Why would they need to pay rent to their parents if they were going to live away from home during studies?

And tuition fee loans are paid directly to the college/university.

So yes, it is cruel and a little bizzare for a parent to ask for rent from their child’s student loan.

Show quote history

Nearly a third of university students are expected to live in their family home this year. They are still eligible for maintenance loans, though they may be lower than if they lived elsewhere.

Thursa · 26/10/2023 02:32

They’re still at home at 22 and 24. Rent here is outrageous, anywhere they could afford wouldn’t be in a part of town I’d be happy with them living. We do not take rent from them as we want them to build a bit of a nest egg.

Topseyt123 · 26/10/2023 02:34

No! Why would I do that? They are my offspring and I would not render them homeless. They will have a space with us if they ever need it. They move out when they are ready themselves and can afford it.

I'd charge a token rent if they were earning a realistic amount, but from a wage or salary, definitely not from a student loan! Charging rent from a student loan would be ridiculous, and cruel.

HoppingPavlova · 26/10/2023 02:47

God no. Did not do this. The only situation where we would have considered this was if they were some sort of disruptive influence in the house with behaviour/drugs/crime, otherwise, why?

In fact I still have all of mine, some in uni, some out and working. Don't charge board for those working and you can’t take money from a student. The harsh reality these days is house prices. We let kids stay at home for nothing, and save for first property. The deposit is not the problem, if minimum deposit, there is no way to pay off the loan repayments if getting property in metro areas required for the type of employment they are in. You need a mega deposit to make repayments doable. This wasn’t the case when I was young, we could afford to rent and save for a starter place, not now! Ours do save accordingly, if they didn’t then we would take ‘board’ and put it away for them as an enforced savings mechanism but they are frugal spenders so no issue. Also, it’s a furfy that kids not paying board don’t understand household expenses and won’t be able to manage their own homes. Mine understand all of that perfectly well and will be able to manage that aspect just fine when in their own properties.

EbonyWood · 26/10/2023 02:47

The parents on this thread are lovely. I had to pay rent on top of all my necessities (toiletries, school bus fare, school lunches) from 18, still in full time education. I worked Saturday and Sunday and then was at school all week. Was awful

user1477391263 · 26/10/2023 03:02

No and no.

If they were working, I’d suggest they paid a reasonable “rent” which I would actually put into a housing deposit for them. It’s a way of helping them save AND mentally budget for housing costs at the same time.

BurbageBrook · 26/10/2023 03:05

God no.

WandaWonder · 26/10/2023 03:07

No and no

Appleblum · 26/10/2023 03:09

No and no.

Anna8089 · 26/10/2023 03:09

They didn't have jobs before the age of 21? That's quite astounding.

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 26/10/2023 03:13

My dds are 19 and 18, both "moved out" for uni (their choice!). We pa their rent, they keep their student loans and both have p/t jobs.
I'm prepared for (hoping!) They'll come back! I miss them! Would only charge rent when they were working full time.
But agree the moving out and spreading their wings is a great experience for them (but with us as a cushion!)

Threeboysadogandacat · 26/10/2023 03:17

Mine are still at home at 28, 26 and 17. I would not ask them to leave and I don’t charge them for the roof over their head but ds1 & ds2 pay a contribution towards food, gas & electricity, internet etc.

elliejjtiny · 26/10/2023 03:21

No to the moving out, they can stay as long as they want. Rent, yes but not immediately they turn 18. Probably when I no longer get child tax credit/universal credit for them or when they leave education.

ElleCapitaine · 26/10/2023 03:28

No, that would be awful. They can stay as long as they like. I wouldn’t charge rent while they were students or had part time/summer jobs, but if they had a proper full time job I would (though I’d probably save it for a deposit for them).

KnickersOfDoom · 26/10/2023 03:29

Once they have full time jobs I’d expect rent but it would be proportionate. Would aim for 1/6 of the household bills

Westfacing · 26/10/2023 03:31

No and No.

I'm reminded of the time when fostered and children in care used to be shown the door at 18, with very little preparation and support Sad

Ponderingwindow · 26/10/2023 03:35

I expect my child will still be in full time education at 18. She will be welcome to live at home. If she needs to move out to pursue that education, I will pay her rent.

if for any reason my child is not pursuing a degree and instead decides to immediately begin working, then she will be welcome to live at home, but she will need to pay rent . In reality that rent will go into a savings account, but I will keep that quiet. I don’t think it’s a good idea to get used to feeling like a wage goes further than it actually does.

if my child decides to pursue neither education nor employment at 18, then she will need to move out without financial support. An exception will of course be made for unusual medical issues

ShippingNews · 26/10/2023 03:43

Mine left home of their own accord in their late 20's, when they had jobs and homes. I loved having them at home, it was like have my two best friends living with me. Why on earth I'd ask them to leave, I don't know !

babysharkdoodoodedoodedoo · 26/10/2023 03:46

Of course not. At 18 I was still a student, getting life experiences by travelling and going to uni and having part time jobs. If my parents had immediately thrust me into the real world at that age, it would have really made me miss out on so much and deprived me of so much growth and so many wonderful experiences.

Mydogmybestfriend · 26/10/2023 03:58

I wouldn't

oksothisisusnow · 26/10/2023 03:59

DD is 16 in 2 months time, we have a clear plan.
No she will not be leaving home at 18 years old unless she goes to university, at this point she wants to go to a technical college and either follow up with an apprenticeship or go to university. If she goes to uni she wants to live away even if just for a year for the experience.

If at home with us we will pay for a car and insurance and we will meet bulk of her expenses, such as food and she will still have the ability to come on family holidays at our cost.

If she is living at uni, then instead of insurance and car running costs we will help fund her.

The preference both to her and us is that she will be here until mid to late 20s, and whatever she earns, she will save 50% of. She is quite good with money, and understands the importance of saving whilst young and not used to having money, in order to have a comfortable life, when it comes to ensuring that her own needs are met.
I discussed this somewhere else and quite a few people thought it was a preposterous idea, and that young adults should just enjoy their late teens and early 20s.

But I think these are the years that life tends to be a struggle if you're living alone, so why not live a fairly simple existence whilst ploughing money away to make your 30s and 40s much more comfortable?

I was out of my mums house at 17, not by choice. When the child benefit stopped we were all chucked out- I was chucked out in the clothes I stood in, and I struggled to keep a roof over my head, the electric on, and food in the cupboards. DD won't know those struggles so I don't think that expecting her to cut her cloth in other ways, when all of the above is provided is terrible.

The money she is expected to save will go through me into an account in her name. So effectively it will be her giving mum money that I'll then pay to an account she won't really use until she moves out.

Having seen me struggle in her early years, I think she's quite keen to avoid that herself.

Blanketpolicy · 26/10/2023 04:00

I wouldnt touch a student loan or PT wages while studying IF I could afford not to. I see it as my job as a parent to see them through education.

If I was in the position where I NEEDED to ask for money from my dcs student loan I would be worried how I was going to survive financially when they did leave home.

Once they are working and not in education, in most cases they should be contributing to the household. I don't foresee then staying at home for long after uni but I also wont be asking them to leave before they are ready/want to as I quite like my dc so they are no bother having at home.

BooksAndHooks · 26/10/2023 04:29

Of course not. Most 18 years olds are not able to financially support themselves and many still in education.

I will request contribution towards their living costs once they are in full time employment.

ohdamnitjanet · 26/10/2023 04:35

No, but my ds is decent and well behaved, if he was a horror that’s would be different. Absolutely charge rent if working though, even a nominal amount.