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Original poster

Will you/did you request for your child to move out when they turn 18

404 replies

parateach · 26/10/2023 00:27

Will you/did you request for your child to move out when they turn 18

And if not, will you request rent?

Thank you

OP posts:
Thatsridiculous · 26/10/2023 01:00

No, I hope that I can support my children when they become young adults.

I would charge rent if they lived at home and workers full time and had a decent wage. I wouldn’t expect that to be the case at 18 though.

Hermittrismegistus · 26/10/2023 01:01

Would you consider asking for rent out of their student loan cruel?

Not if needed.

Notcontent · 26/10/2023 01:09

No and no. My home will always be DD’s home. That said, if she is earning lots while living at home then I would expect some contribution to food,

honeyandfizz · 26/10/2023 01:09

Is this a survey?

crumblingschools · 26/10/2023 01:09

Most parents have to top up the student loan, not take money from it. DS’s student loan doesn’t even cover his rent. At the moment he is using savings he has earned in the last couple of years to cover the shortfall but at some point I am sure we will need to top up the difference.

He still has a room at our house and will do for many years. If he comes back to live with us after university and is in full-time employment then yes I expect we will ask for a contribution towards food etc. If he is still intending to live with us into his 50s I am sure we would have a word with him to encourage him to move out before then, but certainly not at 18.

An1ta · 26/10/2023 01:10

parateach · Today 00:49

Would you consider asking for rent out of their student loan cruel?

I think we need more info. R u in financial difficulties? Can u no longer support your child financially or otherwise?

I don't know your circumstances but no I would not kick my child out at any age and no I would not ask for rent. Been single mother all my life and it's my responsibility to take care of my child. Even after their 18 years old. If they are in full time employment I'm happy for them to save up as much as they can without charging them for anything. Obviously they would be responsible for buying their own clothing, social life and work expenses.

Now if they are in full employment pissing their money away I'd definitely start charging them rent, bills etc... and save the money to give back to them when they're ready to be matured reasonable adults.

Then again If I'm unable to financially take care of my children and keep roof over our heads after I'd taken another job or work more hours or have done anything I could I'd have no option left but to ask them to contribute to the household.

WilmaWonka · 26/10/2023 01:12

Well DD insisted she’d leave home on her 18th birthday, still here at 26! Her brothers are over 18 and still here too.

I would like them to move out and I certainly don’t intend to house them for life (obviously in crisis times they can always come home until they’re sorted) and I look forward to DH and I having the house to ourselves although we also have a 13 year old so a while away yet, but I wouldn’t want them to go until they are ready and can afford a decent standard of living which these days will take a while. DD is saving for a house now and has taken a weekend job as well as her office job.

I take rent as they work and have no qualms at all it. They’re adults, supported through Uni to 21. They have a home, they can contribute as they would have to outside of our house, we’ve done our bit.

I was brought up having to handover half my wages starting at age 14 when I got my first part time job, given 3 months to leave when I was 18 so had to take a live in hotel job until I saved enough to rent a flat and moved into office work. There’s no way my mother would have countenanced supporting me ‘sitting on my arse’ through Uni!

I doubt most 18 year olds could afford even a house share nowadays unless they were earning above minimum wage which without work experience won’t be many.

EmeraldTheSeahorse · 26/10/2023 01:14

Everyone will say no but I was asked to leave at 16.

Thewolvesarerunningagain · 26/10/2023 01:16

No way. As long as I have a roof, they’ve a space under it. No I won’t be charging rent. If they’re working they can shop and cook for themselves and contribute to household bills that aren’t fixed (fuel for example).

Mothership4two · 26/10/2023 01:16

Didn't request rent until they started regularly earning and that's going into a savings account to give to them in the future (they are unaware of this). We can afford to do this though, appreciate that is not the same case for everyone.

Mothership4two · 26/10/2023 01:17

That must have been tough @EmeraldTheSeahorse

Zzizzisnotzeproblem · 26/10/2023 01:23

Mine are welcome to stay forever but they pay towards bills/board once finished with education and working.

MintJulia · 26/10/2023 01:23

No and no. But I'm fairly sure my pension will cover my needs.

Oxborn · 26/10/2023 01:27

Nope but my 20 yr old with a good wage makes a contribution

Hooplahooping · 26/10/2023 01:27

My dad had a deal that we had to contribute x amount if we were working - which went into a savings account for when we moved out. I thought that was a nice thing to do if you can afford it. Meant my siblings and I were used to paying rent etc when we did move out with jobs (after uni in our early 20s)

theresastormcoming · 26/10/2023 01:29

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

BettyBunMaker · 26/10/2023 01:32

BrimfulOfMash · 26/10/2023 00:48

No, certainly not!

And I would not ask for any contribution until they have finished f/t education and are earning.

This

Bananajuice · 26/10/2023 01:33

I have a 19 and 17 year old one in college and one in school. The one in college also works part time. I take a quarter of what she earns towards house etc she keeps the rest and buys everything she needs apart from food from it. I'll do the same when the 17 year old starts a modern apprenticeship next year

Mothership4two · 26/10/2023 01:49

God how cruel @theresastormcoming. Similar, not as cold, but happened to my friend but it was on the day of her last Alevel and her mum provoked her into a massive argument - we'd gone out to celebrate and went back to stay at hers (which was a normal occurence) we came back to her mum shouting at her that she hadn't done the washing up/cleaned up the kitchen (we hadn't been there) with no mention of her Alevels, and she walked out and never went back. It was awful and embarrassing to be there at the time. They did reconcile much much later when she was getting married.

DiscoBeat · 26/10/2023 01:53

Absolutely not. They can stay for as long as they like and will not ever be charged rent.

Firebug007 · 26/10/2023 01:56

parateach · 26/10/2023 00:49

Would you consider asking for rent out of their student loan cruel?

Yes out of student loan no from paid employment.

Aphroditee · 26/10/2023 01:56

parateach · 26/10/2023 00:49

Would you consider asking for rent out of their student loan cruel?

Well if it’s a maintenance loan then surely they will be in student/private accommodation during term time. Why would they need to pay rent to their parents if they were going to live away from home during studies?

And tuition fee loans are paid directly to the college/university.

So yes, it is cruel and a little bizzare for a parent to ask for rent from their child’s student loan.

HeavenKnowsIamMiserableNow · 26/10/2023 02:01

This OP smacks of AI.

NumberTheory · 26/10/2023 02:09

Unless there were behaviour issues, not at 18, no. It’s virtually impossible for an 18 year old to be self sufficient.

If a student, asking them to move out (again, unless their behaviour made them staying in the home intolerable). On the rent front, I’d be looking at what I was supposed to be providing them with money wise to top up their loans and working out how I could make that work given what I and they could afford. I’d be hoping to provide them with the means to enjoy their student years while building up the skills needed to live independently. That could mean anything from charging a nominal rent to giving the a monthly top up to their loans that they could choose to pay me or someone else rent out of and still have more money left over.

My mum was on benefits when I went to uni at 18. If she’d charged me rent I’d have had to give up university. Thankfully she wanted me to do well and could get by without asking me for money.

SirenSays · 26/10/2023 02:12

No. Never have, never would