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Original poster

Will you/did you request for your child to move out when they turn 18

404 replies

parateach · 26/10/2023 00:27

Will you/did you request for your child to move out when they turn 18

And if not, will you request rent?

Thank you

OP posts:
kurotora · 26/10/2023 14:55

Absolutely not. I can’t imagine very many 18 year olds being able to afford rent in the current financial climate, but that aside, my child will always be welcome in my home, it’s what I signed up for.

MrsKeats · 26/10/2023 16:07

No and no.

MrsKeats · 26/10/2023 16:12

You want your son to pay your mortgage?
This can't be real.

Beezknees · 26/10/2023 16:34

parateach · 26/10/2023 11:16

Thank you for your answers.
My husband lost his job so we are down to a single income. It's not enough to pay the mortgage (£800).

I would like to ask my son to pay the mortgage, but he only gets 800 gbp a month. So he would contribute the whole amount or 700 at the lowest.
He still managed to use some of his money for himself when I asked for a smaller contribution - he bought himself a camera for his course, paid for the expenses around site visits (for his course as well) and a 2 week long vacation to Asia.

Edited

Your husband needs to get another job ASAP. Any job.

Glassofwino · 26/10/2023 17:21

Yeah OP now reading your post! Definitely can’t expect your child to cover the £800 mortgage! My mum pays £1500 rent per month and I contributed £200 per month of my loan to cover part of my bills and this included my phone bill which was £50 per month. My mum requested the very minimum contribution so she could still meet ends meet. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask for a contribution your as circumstances have changed but to request him to pay the £800 mortgage is unreasonable

EwwSprouts · 26/10/2023 17:24

There are seasonal jobs advertising now. They may not be great wages but they'll be more than your child's grant. I hope your DH gets a job soon.

Beezknees · 26/10/2023 17:35

Glassofwino · 26/10/2023 17:21

Yeah OP now reading your post! Definitely can’t expect your child to cover the £800 mortgage! My mum pays £1500 rent per month and I contributed £200 per month of my loan to cover part of my bills and this included my phone bill which was £50 per month. My mum requested the very minimum contribution so she could still meet ends meet. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask for a contribution your as circumstances have changed but to request him to pay the £800 mortgage is unreasonable

This basically. As a single parent I will have no choice but to ask DS to contribute when he's working as I will not be in a position to financially support another adult but I wouldn't ask him to pay the entire rent himself!

Ladyluck22 · 26/10/2023 17:43

No I would not ask my nearly 18 year to move out. She does pay rent, £50 a month. As works full time. If she was in education we would not ask for rent. She hopping to go back to college next year so will then stop charging her rent.

Ladyluck22 · 26/10/2023 17:47

No you can’t take all there money, especially student load which they have to pay back. What will they live on??

TheSnootiestFox · 26/10/2023 17:57

No and no, and absolutely not to paying the mortgage out of a student loan. At 18 he's only just stopped being a child, you and your husband are the grown ups in this situation and I suggest the pair of you start acting like it!

Dotcheck · 26/10/2023 17:59

If she has a student loan then yes, charge rent, but a reasonable amount. £700 is not reasonable

Tinkerbyebye · 26/10/2023 18:05

No you can’t ask your son to give over his whole wage to cover your mortgage. Don’t be ridiculous

your husband will have to get a job, any job and there are lots out there

coming back on edit if I was your son I would be looking to move out if you insisted and try and make my own way so your husband would still have to get a job to cover the mortgage

theleafandnotthetree · 26/10/2023 18:10

I consider myself on the other end of the spectrum to the 'this will always be their home, I would die rather than take money off my child' brigade but OP, your suggestion is appalling. You simply cannot do this to your 18 year old, your husband must get work, any work. It might be ok to ask him to pay a small amount and/or start to pay for some things he doesn't pay for currently (phone/gym/streaming service/toiletries, etc) but it would be pretty unethical to take what you are suggesting unless it was literally a starvation situation and every other avenue had been explored by you and his Dad.

LadyPenelope68 · 26/10/2023 18:19

I’m absolutely amazed at what I’m reading! You absolutely cannot ask your son to pay the whole monthly mortgage out if his student loan 😡😡😡. Your husband needs to get off his arse and find another job, temporary or otherwise and maybe you need to get a second job. It’s not up to your son to pay it!

if you do ask him, hopefully he’ll have the sense to move out, it’ll probably be cheaper than living at home!

Seriously79 · 26/10/2023 18:25

No, would never kick them out. They would either learn or earn.

If earning, something would be paid. Not because we need it, I think it's just practice for them.

Lovethatforyouhun · 26/10/2023 18:28

Yes of course. Its why i had my children so they could pay my way…

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 26/10/2023 18:29

We asked for a small contribution from DS as he started earning at 17.

If he had gone to university we would maybe have encouraged to live at home so he didn't need the maintenance grant - it didn't happen so I don't know how it would have worked .
He did actually move out at 19 but this was around him wanting to be with his GF during the household not mixing rules of lockdown - we certainly didn't ask him to leave .

StrangePaintName · 26/10/2023 18:43

Lovethatforyouhun · 26/10/2023 18:28

Yes of course. Its why i had my children so they could pay my way…

Well, I keep trying to get my 11 year old a job as a Dickensian urchin climbing chimneys or working his wee fingers to the bone in a blacking factory,, but he’s curiously resistant…

reluctantbrit · 26/10/2023 18:46

Depends. If a child has finished training and has a full pay job and decent income then yes.

A child still in education (there are 18 year olds in Y13) or at uni then it's a big no. From what? DD's student loan won't even cover all expenses unless she goes to the uni in our home town but she would still need funds for travel, phone, food, clothing, books and that doesn't include any hobby or socialising. We had a short calculation and she will only get the bare minimum.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 26/10/2023 19:26

I’d never have kicked dds out, but once they’d graduated and were earning reasonable money, they did pay ‘rent’ - about half of what they’d have had to pay for a flat share locally.
They’re long grown up now, with their own homes, but as far as I’m concerned, this will always be their home, too.

MystyLuna · 26/10/2023 19:36

My child is disabled so will never be able to move out.
When I was younger, I started uni when I was 19 and just came home during holidays.
I was always planning at living at home for a year after uni so I could save up for my own house. This was my mum's idea initially.
When I finished uni, my dad (who didn't live with my mum), was planning on picking me up at 11am to bring me home.
My mum phoned me at midnight to tell me that she didnt want me moving back home.
She knew for the whole 4 years I was at uni that she was going to do this but waited until the last minute to tell me. So I ended up homeless.
20 years later I am still living in rented accommodation and haven't spoken to my mum in 11 years.

haround · 26/10/2023 20:36

My eldest is 24 and disabled. Happy to keep him living at home, I think the support at home is far better than in a supported living environment and our home is nicer. I take some of his benefits income for board but that's mainly to stop it building up in his account and excluding him from means-tested benefits.

Other dc I'd be happy to keep living at home for as long as they like. Financially it wouldn't be an issue. But I hope they'd move out of London to go to uni, because it's a good experience, and I think flat-sharing as a young person would be a good experience too.

I moved out of the family home when I was 18 to go to uni. I got a council house after graduating and never went back home to live.

WTFsmh12 · 26/10/2023 20:55

Honestly, no I wouldn’t dream of saying that, but obviously when I was younger it was a different story ,all my siblings moved out at 16, struggled but survived, but now I can’t even imagine how they would survive. It’s sad really.

BillyNotQuiteNoMates · 26/10/2023 21:05

No, I didn’t ask them to move out, although their dad fought for that to happen.
But yes, I think it’s right to ask them for a contribution towards household expenses/“rent”. Being given everything on a plate doesn’t help arm them for the real world. Many of us will lose out on child benefit/ child maintenance when they reach this age, and they don’t become any less expensive to house, so they need to contribute that amount into the budget, at the very least. In addition, I took an extra £50 which was saved for them. Every year, that £50 increased by a further £50. Eventually they realise that it is cheaper for them to move out, but they’ve got a decent nest egg behind them when they do, and they are used to having that money come out of their earned income, as they will find once they move out.

happinessischocolate · 27/10/2023 00:03

Nope

My sons friend got kicked out when he turned 18 so he lives with us now.

He'd be on the streets otherwise as the council won't help him.

He's lovely, works, pays lodging and helps round the house.