Attracted to OW husband. What a mess.

[Conflictedsuz]

‘D’H left me 10 weeks ago for a woman he met at the gym. 15 years together, the usual script etc.
He has left and him and OW have set up home together with her kids aged 5 & 9, we don’t have children.
I loosely know her husband as we went to the same school. He’s been In touch and we’ve been chatting for the past few weeks.
he’s a really nice guy and is as shell shocked as me. We’re definitely becoming attracted to one another. I don’t know what to do about this - it seems like madness! I’ll never be free of this mess if I follow my feelings for him.

Advice? Follow my heart or cut them all off? I’ll miss our friendship and warmth. I’m so confused. I hate my husband and it doesnt feel like a rebound thing. Help!

Why do so many people think that this would be revenge or that the cheating couple would be upset? What is very likely to happen is that the cheating couple see this as justification for their own affair. They will build a narrative around this that minimises their wrongdoing.

And honestly... Will you really feel better after a quick shag with this guy? If a quick shag is what you're after get yourself on tinder and do it with someone who is not involved in all this mess.

Try to work through the trauma and pain of what has happened in a way that will make you feel good about yourself and that this time next year you can wake up proud of how you got through it. (And preferably not looking after the kids of the ow whilst she and your ex husband are on a mini break somewhere!)

I just wouldn't - if you end up together, you end up with your husband's affair partner in your life if you're stepmother to her kids, and if your ex stays with her, he'll still be in your life. Short term it could be fun, but long term it brings lots of difficulties.