OP don't do relationship counselling with him. It's a bad idea where abuse is involved. He'll just use the sessions to further abuse you. It won't fix anything. You've done nothing wrong at all. You're not the problem. Your job isn't the problem. He is the problem - but he will never ever admit it. Nor will he ever change.
Don't let your performance suffer at work because he's stressing you out at home. That's a deliberate tactic. He wants your mind on him, and only him, every second of the day. Look how you're on here posting about him, worrying about him, when you should be having downtime from work.
When you start to ignore all his bullshit, stop attempting to reassure him etc and focus your mind on other things (any other things) he will respond to that by ramping up the abuse further. Watch out for him sabotaging your attempts to get to work on time. Including things like keeping you up late, picking a row the night before so you sleep badly, taking up your time in the morning with inconsequential things or with his "mental" issues, suddenly having weird unexplained symptoms that need a doctor and you to wait with him because he's "scared". Or any other tactics he may try. Pay attention to it, to the timing, to the effects on your life. See it for what it is.
You say you're not scared of him. You should be. When his attempts to control by coersion fail, he's unlikely to just stop, he's likely to resort to violence. A push, a shove, a waved fist, slamming a door like a tantrum, banging a table, getting up in your face all angry, cornering you, blocking the exit with his body, grabbing your arm as you turn away to walk off. All of it is an escalation of abuse. Don't tolerate any of it, leave. Better still, leave now before it happens.