I just had a massive salad

[SoRainbowRhythms]

I'm on holiday and had a massive salad. I couldn't finish it.

What MN cliche have you done today?

DH and I have been out doing our top secret immediately outing completely unique hobby.

I also then dithered about something and came up with multiple scenarios instead of holding a two minute conversation that would clear everything up.

I may end the day with a massive salad.

Had a doorstep argument with a neighbour about parking today (not even involving her vehicle, just mine where another random neighbour drove into mine and got stuck). She came to my doorstep, btw. Doorstep argument recorded by doorbell camera, of course. I just need to draw a diagram, working on that. If I was a social media fan I would absolutely post the footage! But I'm not so won't!

My carer arrived this morning. (Apparently, unlike most MN's) mine is lovely. But she didn't clean or do her usual things. She just mopped me up emotionally. And dealt with everything and refused to be paid. Okay, so not very MN! She was the one who saw my car stuck by the neighbours and was WTF and 'had words'.

I ignored the doorbell this afternoon ^see above.

Oh! I forgot the neighbour's note through my door. Which I should have shown to shouty neighbour. So neighbour, interfering neighbour, note, damaged car - parking!

Keeping tally -
Parking
Neighbours
Notes through door
Carer/cleaner
Diagram to follow (and video footage if required 🙄😬)

I haven't bought a chicken to cook, but I do have some sliced ham that I'm hoping will stretch six weeks for meals (hehe).

No cats here. I've manged to get rid of them with my 'Super Soaker' water gun.

Add to tally - cats.

I'm also overweight and seeking advice, single, have adult DC but have been here from year dot. Well, when they were dots!

Married and divorced twice, uprooted and moved away, family (including DC, one who is NC) hours away. Elderly parents, sibling...

How am I doing?!

Do I pass the MN test?!

(Just at the bottom this weekend - and my bottom reached there faster than I expected because my bottom is very saggy!)

Well done.

Why are there dogs everywhere? They are so unhygienic.

I just bumped into 2 mums from school having coffee. I gave them a passive aggressive grilling about how they came to be there and I will now assume they're cliquey bitches who went out of their way to exclude me.
( Not really, had a quick chat & went about my day 😜)

You’re either 55 or 68.

I gave my head a wobble and picked up some bits for a picky tea.

@OldTinHat you didn’t pass, you spectacularly failed at “sliced ham”. Don’t you know it’s carcinogenic. And a UPF. I don’t know how you can eat such crap. I hope there are no DC involved.

Give your head a wobble.

I did a tinkly laugh at a CF and am considering submitting a diagram

I spat my tea out

Also I will be down the school demanding answers first thing tomorrow morning

🤣🤣🤣

I am 53 and just got asked for ID buying wine. Its because I am so short and slim. 😫What to do?

I need to buy a MN chicken....ill add it to my list
Today I didn't give up cake

I snorted mine... all over the keyboard!

... DH says he agrees and snorted too.

I didn't come home last night

I sat on the bed in my outdoor clothes whilst wondering if I can leave my sheets a couple more months before washing them.

Well, you're probably 1 day post ovulation so you'll have all the symptoms.

I'm 63 and keep being mistaken for a teenager. It's just awful.

I walked into a friends house having arrived unannounced and fid not remove my shoes.

I’ve washed and dried my bedsheets twice and towels three times since getting out of bed/the shower this morning. Any less frequently is minging, you’re basically marinating in poo crumbs.

I gave DH a penis portion sized lunch.

This

@ReeseWitherfork 55, but I'm hoping you'll all tell me 25, though I know, in true mumsnet style, I'll get a lot of comments saying 85!