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Original poster

I'm stuck on a boat and I need a poo

297 replies

Onaboat7 · 30/09/2023 15:42

Genuinely. I've nc for this 😳
I'm on my friends boat and the etiquette is to just have a wee, but I've been told the poo procedure and I....just.....can't

OP posts:
Nanaof1 · 01/10/2023 01:21

Multipleexclamationmarks · 30/09/2023 16:50

You chucked it over the side? Untreated waste into the water, eww!

Everyone thinks, "it's just mine and not much. It won't hurt the environment." Then times that by thousands a day and add in what cruise ships do with just their garbage and we see why the oceans are in deep shit trouble.

user1492757084 · 01/10/2023 04:45

You should poo into a plastic bag - just like when you are hiking without a shovel to bury the poo properly.

Reigateforever · 01/10/2023 05:09

Depends on the bag he gives out. Men can poo without peeing, however women have a more difficult problem as pooing causes the relaxing of the pelvic floor a bit more messy.

Female astronauts have the same problem.

Considering the time he left you alone on the boat, I bet he was relieving himself in the marna’s more luxury toilets.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General health
Puffypuffin · 01/10/2023 08:50

MartyFunkhouser · 30/09/2023 17:16

You should’ve just held on to it, by which I mean waited to shit at home or somewhere. Unless you suffer from IBS or a bowel disease (and I haven’t RTFT), there’s no reason why you couldn’t do this.

Can’t belief you threw a shit into the water. That’s completely not on.

Well, some people without medical issues really can't do that. I don't have IBS or anything but if I need to go, I can't just decide to wait a few hours. Luckily for me, my habits in this department are regular so I am usually able to see my turtle friends off at home.

Oakbeam · 01/10/2023 11:07

You can poo on our narrowboat without any issues

Is that kind invitation open to everybody, or just the OP?

Invalidusername88 · 01/10/2023 12:42

Oakbeam · 01/10/2023 11:07

You can poo on our narrowboat without any issues

Is that kind invitation open to everybody, or just the OP?

Love it.

Original poster
Onaboat7 · 01/10/2023 22:29

Ok, so I got it a bit wrong - we weren't at a marina, per se, just moored up on the river. With a couple of pontoons. It's a tidal river so does that make the poo-dumping-in-water any better???

That entire episode has scarred me. I am in utter disbelief that I scooped up poo in my BARE HANDS. Why didn't I just go in a bag?? Or just on loo paper? I can only think I panicked. It's definitely the first time I have been in a bathroom and thought 'what the fuck am I going to do with this poo?'

OP posts:
SpamFritata · 02/10/2023 00:51

Yeah, yeah - marina, river, pontoons, whatever. What we need to know is if you had followed the proper procedure WHAT WAS HE GOING TO DO WITH THE POO?

On the tidal thing, depends how close to sea you were and whether the tide was going in or out. The poo may have had quite the journey inland and then back out again.

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/10/2023 01:07

Another2Cats · 30/09/2023 20:15

@MrsTerryPratchett

"I just spent three weeks in a country with... basic sanitation. Poo anxiety is real."

By any chance, did this involve squatting over what is basically a hole in the floor? I've seen toilets like that before in various different countries.

Mostly in South or Central Asia (and also in southern Russia), but I have seen a similar toilet in a Tescos distribution centre here in the UK

Yes, holes in the ground. Sometimes with amazing views TBF. One of them the hole was quite big and it was a big worrisome that it was actually big enough to fit a human down, if I'd slipped in the night.

And yes, most recently Central Asia. Although my introduction to these delights was in Africa.

devuskums · 02/10/2023 02:15

@Onaboat7 I am really pleased that you managed not to crapsize the boat (🤣)

Sweetpea1532 · 02/10/2023 03:39

Hahahalol @devuskums !

Nanaof1 · 02/10/2023 04:58

devuskums · 02/10/2023 02:15

@Onaboat7 I am really pleased that you managed not to crapsize the boat (🤣)

Heidi Klum Reaction GIF by Amazon Prime Video

LOL! You win!

Original poster
Onaboat7 · 02/10/2023 19:03

devuskums · 02/10/2023 02:15

@Onaboat7 I am really pleased that you managed not to crapsize the boat (🤣)

Brilliant 🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
Onaboat7 · 02/10/2023 19:06

I genuinely do not know what he does with other people's poo. I was so horrified I forgot to ask. I don't even think I want to know.

OP posts:
Original poster
Onaboat7 · 02/10/2023 19:10

I see him quite a lot though so I can always do a follow-up documentary for you all.

OP posts:
ErrolTheDragon · 02/10/2023 19:23

Maybe you can participate in a time and motion study?

BodegaSushi · 03/10/2023 06:28

Onaboat7 · 30/09/2023 16:16

To do it, tell him and hand him the poo

Show quote history

🙄 yeah you wish that don’t you

BodegaSushi · 03/10/2023 06:31

ifuckinghateithere · 30/09/2023 16:48

Do you not find it weird that he asked you to hand over the poo, OP?

Does that not concern you - like even a little bit?

Honestly his poo protocol isn't normal for being on a boat it's just an excuse.

Do you not find this whole post weird?

Original poster
Onaboat7 · 03/10/2023 13:07

This post is about something that truly happened on Saturday. If you find that weird.....🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
Original poster
Onaboat7 · 03/10/2023 13:09

BotegaSushi - yes, I thought it was fucking odd, but I don't live on a boat. I thought maybe there's some sort of system I don't know about. Some mini sewage system or something.

OP posts:
MNetcurtains · 03/10/2023 13:12

Poo procedure normally involves putting soiled tp in the bin in the loo, and not flushing the toilet if you're moored up.

ErrolTheDragon · 03/10/2023 13:29

Onaboat7 · 03/10/2023 13:09

BotegaSushi - yes, I thought it was fucking odd, but I don't live on a boat. I thought maybe there's some sort of system I don't know about. Some mini sewage system or something.

It sounds odd to me.
Afaik the normal procedures are either
A) bypass the holding tank, then use marinas which do have loos
Or
B) use the holding tank and get it pumped out when you need to.

If he's got an old boat that doesn't get moved (so can't get it pumped out) moored up somewhere with no access to toilet facilities ... don't know, what do people with houseboats do?

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