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Original poster

I'm stuck on a boat and I need a poo

297 replies

Onaboat7 · 30/09/2023 15:42

Genuinely. I've nc for this 😳
I'm on my friends boat and the etiquette is to just have a wee, but I've been told the poo procedure and I....just.....can't

OP posts:
smallshinybutton · 30/09/2023 21:45

Bertiesmum3 · 30/09/2023 20:59

Yet it’s ok for people not to pick up their dog sh..!!
its big tides now so it will float away 😂

Show quote history

No it's not fucking ok to leave dog shit lying around

SpamFritata · 30/09/2023 21:48

5128gap · 30/09/2023 21:22

For future reference you need to know the next stage of the procedure, what your friend does with it. Throw it in the bin? Put it in a sealed container? Hand it to a policeman...?
When you know this, you can cut out the superfluous stage (the waste in the process, if you will) and complete the procedure yourself.

Top analysis. 😂

smallshinybutton · 30/09/2023 21:55

5128gap · 30/09/2023 21:22

For future reference you need to know the next stage of the procedure, what your friend does with it. Throw it in the bin? Put it in a sealed container? Hand it to a policeman...?
When you know this, you can cut out the superfluous stage (the waste in the process, if you will) and complete the procedure yourself.

Excellent post

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Whoopsypoopsy · 30/09/2023 22:03

I’ve NC for this too but I was once caught short driving in the middle of nowhere and couldn’t hold my poo in any longer. I drove and drove trying to find somewhere to go but to no avail, it was coming out regardless…

I pulled over in a lay-by, grabbed a nappy from the changing bag and had to poo in it in the car while the twins were asleep in the back 🙈🙈🙈

JustACountryMusicGirlInCowboyBoots · 30/09/2023 22:04

Are you on a date with Gillian McKeith?

Mum2jenny · 30/09/2023 22:11

You can poo on our narrowboat without any issues. What’s the issue with where you are?

friedplantain2023 · 30/09/2023 22:11

If you have a chemical or flushing toilet on your boat, you will need to pay for a pump out. The boat is static, aka a houseboat. Perhaps this person is of limited means financially. Most boat and van dwellers cannot afford to rent or but property in many places in the uk.

LittleRedYarny · 30/09/2023 22:12

But for you to know the “poo procedure” he had to tell you about it so just tell him you need to go, he’s not going to be surprised! As the good book says “Everybody poops!”

Namechangeforthis88 · 30/09/2023 22:13

Op's last update, the funniest thing I've ever read on mumsnet. Possibly the funniest thing I've ever read on the Internet.

friedplantain2023 · 30/09/2023 22:20

Please see my post on page 9. This is the funniest video I think I've ever seen

ErrolTheDragon · 30/09/2023 22:23

Mum2jenny · 30/09/2023 22:11

You can poo on our narrowboat without any issues. What’s the issue with where you are?

It will have a holding tank, which needs to be regularly pumped out, I assume.
you're probably not allowed to discharge any foul water in inland waterways.

But yachts, apparently, can divert the loo output to avoid filling up and needing to pump out - which in the sea is ok for wee but not for shit. Which is why marinas should have loos.

Sorrynotsorry2 · 30/09/2023 22:23

If your in a marina.. I would just park in poo Bay

Iamacatslave · 30/09/2023 22:28

This is a crap thread.

SurprisedWithAHorse · 30/09/2023 22:37

Iamacatslave · 30/09/2023 22:28

This is a crap thread.

It's a load of shit.

narkyspirit · 30/09/2023 22:40

you can poo in a boat loo, the loo paper is the issue if u use too much. having a poo in a bucket is not a pleasant experience

SunnyLiving · 30/09/2023 22:50

Onaboat7 · 30/09/2023 16:59

Oh God. What will my punishment be? To have to poo in this toilet again??

Show quote history

Hahahahah! This has really tickled me OP 😂

Mountaineer0009 · 30/09/2023 22:58

Duckingella · 30/09/2023 21:36

Well this thread will make tomorrows daily fail then the friend will know.

It will be a shit show

Tighginn · 30/09/2023 22:59

I can't get Deacon Blues, Dignity out of my head now.

ErrolTheDragon · 30/09/2023 23:01

Iamacatslave · 30/09/2023 22:28

This is a crap thread.

Hope it doesn't run and run...Shock

TulipTuesday · 30/09/2023 23:23

What you need is a Saniflo 33, that little babe can cope with anything, and I mean anything. Even a pound of mashed up Dundee cake.

SirVixofVixHall · 30/09/2023 23:26

Onaboat7 · 30/09/2023 16:59

Oh God. What will my punishment be? To have to poo in this toilet again??

Show quote history

That loo either has a holding tank, which can cope with poo, or it has a sea outlet, so when out at sea the poo just goes into the water, but in a marina that is not sanitary. I am assuming the latter, but what does he do when he needs to go ? Why no tank or portapotti type loo ?

antikkiti · 30/09/2023 23:27

AnImaginaryCat · 30/09/2023 17:38

I think you'll be OK. Feel it's unlikely there's a marina with no toilet but CCTV everywhere.

Anyway, I want to know who has to suck off the poo tanker guy? Is that where the OP's friend she barely knows has gone in his dinghy?

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This has to be the funniest MN thread I've ever read!

ClairDeLaLune · 30/09/2023 23:33

MolkosTeenageAngst · 30/09/2023 16:57

It’s illegal to throw raw sewage into the sea so I hope for your sake there is no cctv in the marina.

Well the water companies do it so 🤷‍♀️

MolkosTeenageAngst · 30/09/2023 23:42

ClairDeLaLune · 30/09/2023 23:33

Well the water companies do it so 🤷‍♀️

Show quote history

I know but imagine how mortifying it would be for the OP if the marina sees what she’s done on cctv and contacts her friend who owns the boat with the footage! The marina will expect the people using their moorings to be following the law and aren’t likely to ignore it if they find out, I’m not suggesting OP will be prosecuted but the boat owner could be contacted or fined by the marina if anyone saw what she did or it was caught on camera.

BuggersMuddle · 01/10/2023 00:47

For the love of god, shite in a bag and dispose of it yourself unless you're nowhere near a damned bin for X days. I assume if you have to provide said poo to your host that he has given you a sealable bag, since bags of shite are not optimal things to be living and sleeping around.

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