sister furious at me and DD over DD's prank

[namechangedfri29]

I feel mortified and I don't know what to do or tell DSIS to try and make things better between us.

My DSIS' son is 18 years old and has recently started taking driving lessons. He's got a 10-year-old little sister.

My DD is also 18 years old and very close to DNephew.

My nephew has recently entered an online "raffle" type of competition in the hope of winning a car.

Now, here's the problem. My DD thought it would be funny to pull a prank on her cousin and offer her 10 year old cousin to join along.
From my understanding, they sent a text message from a what seems to be a fake number generated by an online app. The text message was sent to my nephew and congratulated him for winning the car and asked him to come get it from the raffle company's office as soon as possible.
It was only once they were about to go in the car that DD and my niece told them all about the joke.

My DSIS and BIL are now furious at their daughter, my daughter and myself.

I think pranks can be funny sometimes, but people need to know not to go too far. There was a craze for "trip wires" a year or so ago and it was mostly funny but someone hurt their shoulder and then suddenly it wasn't.

I agree with the posters who say you can't really punish an eighteen-year-old. She's behaved childishly, but she's an adult nonetheless.

It's a stupid, horrible, unfunny joke, but she's 18. It's not an age known for wisdom and good decisions.

Your daughter needs to apologise and make it clear she is sorry, misjudged and has learned from it. A small gift wouldn't go amiss either. Hopefully that will show her cousin and his family that it was stupidity rather than malice, of the kind borne of being, well, 18.

Not a cool prank at all. I hope all concerned will learn from it.

Perhaps it is a case of dented ego from your dsis too after being excited to win a car.

I wouldn't let my own 18yr old dd off with just a telling off tbh. What she did was cruel and beyond pranking.

@TruthSeeker2023 You don't come across as reasonable in any sense.

Nasty thing to do, what a strange way your DD minds works. I would be very embarrassed by her action.

I can see why your sister is furious. I'm not sure why you aren't furious too.

I'm afraid your daughter's behaviour was just plain nasty and not funny at all.

Does she usually behave so horribly?

It was a cruel prank and if someone did that to my child and they ended up devastated about a car they thought they'd won, I'd be pretty furious too.

But it's complex because it's hard to be angry at a niece. So she's furious with you because she has this energy and doesn't know where to put it.

It's also complicated by the fact that they're 18! I don't think there's anything I could have done at 18 that would have resulted in my mother shouting at me like I was a child. By that time I wasn't even living at home. If she'd have got an angry call, she'd have told the caller to take it up with me.

I hate practical jokes, and am not surprised that they're angry with your daughter- but what are they blaming you for?

Sorry, but your daughter regrets it, admits it was wrong, and has apologised. If the two kids have a habit of pranking each other, it is simply a case of a prank gone too far.
I hope they really regret trashing an otherwise good relationship for life over a prank. They need to grow up.

If this was one of ours they would not only be told off but also made to go personally apologise to all involved. We love nothing more than a small prank in our family but this goes a bit betone just a prank

I think "entitled" must be your new word of the week.

That's a very mean thing to do.
And she's 18!
She sounds very immature.

That's not really a joke. That was a cruel thing to do. Poor him.

I agree but it surely doesn’t hurt to remind them? I still expect to be giving advice/guidance to my kids when they’re adults.

Am I the only one who read this and thought 'oh that's hilarious I would just get them back with another prank'. Genuinely don't understand the massive issue so long as no-one went out of their way and made life decisions about the car. Sure they got their hopes up but hey ho. Can someone genuinely educate me please? Is this a blindspot?

Not much you can do to punish an 18 year old but I’d make it very clear to her how disappointed I was of her behaviour and lack of emotional maturity, the impact cruel jokes have had on the family relationship, and how this impacts on everyone.

Your daughter is a little ass. And roping in her victim’s little sister to ‘join in’ on the ‘prank’.

Has she apologized, genuinely, to your sister’s son? And explained to his sister that she was a bad example for her?

Mean, cruel, unnecessary, unfunny.

@TruthSeeker2023 - are you on glue? Your posts are completely irrational and, frankly, you sound barking.

Wait until you hear about the lottery...

Don't be so utterly ridiculous. I've seen you on a few threads recently talking absolute bollocks. "grabbby and entitled" for entering a competition. 😂

Am I the only one who read this and thought 'oh that's hilarious I would just get them back with another prank'.

Yes, I think you are.

Can someone genuinely educate me please? Is this a blindspot?

Because there's literally nothing funny about it. It's getting someone excited over thinking they're about to get something they really wanted, then telling them actually you were lying, they're not getting anything, and expecting them to think you're very funny and clever.

I don't actually believe for a second that you'd think it hilarious if it happened to you. Why would you? What's funny about it?

Jesus, what is wrong with the people on this thread? An 18 year old pranked another 18 year old, yes it was a bit mean and she shouldn't have gotten the 10 year old involved but really everyone needs to grow up and get over it.
At 18, telling her she needs to apologise and not do something stupid again is enough. But neither of you should pay anything towards a car or driving lessons, that's the most batshit suggestion.
They'll stop being pathetic and get over it eventually OP and you haven't done anything wrong.

I agree. When I was a teen a friend pulled a really horrible 'prank' on me, and then wouldn't own up to it to avoid getting into trouble with her parents and potentially the police once she realised how serious it was. She owned up to it privately to me the next day. She was genuinely quite a nice person (if very dim) and just hadn't thought beyond the immediate level of 'wouldn't this be funny, ha ha'. Teenagers don't automatically realise the consequences of their actions, it depends on a lot of factors.

Yes, it was mean. BUT ... it was a prank - a misguided one perhaps, but I'd be telling my sister to get over it! It was her DS that was pranked, not her.

What type of pranks do they normally pull on each other? Is this one really that much worse.

I often find pranks cruel but it depends what relationship they have with each other and what their normal pranks are like as to whether your DD has really gone too far.