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Original poster

sister furious at me and DD over DD's prank

296 replies

namechangedfri29 · 29/09/2023 14:50

I feel mortified and I don't know what to do or tell DSIS to try and make things better between us.

My DSIS' son is 18 years old and has recently started taking driving lessons. He's got a 10-year-old little sister.

My DD is also 18 years old and very close to DNephew.

My nephew has recently entered an online "raffle" type of competition in the hope of winning a car.

Now, here's the problem. My DD thought it would be funny to pull a prank on her cousin and offer her 10 year old cousin to join along.
From my understanding, they sent a text message from a what seems to be a fake number generated by an online app. The text message was sent to my nephew and congratulated him for winning the car and asked him to come get it from the raffle company's office as soon as possible.
It was only once they were about to go in the car that DD and my niece told them all about the joke.

My DSIS and BIL are now furious at their daughter, my daughter and myself.

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 29/09/2023 15:19

Just send her a message, however you usually would, reiterating that you’re very upset with your DD, and you know how hurt she must be for her son. Then give her a bit of space.

Your DD needs to make her own amends, obviously.

TruthSeeker2023 · 29/09/2023 15:19

Goldfish41 · 29/09/2023 15:18

How does being excited at having won a car translate to thinking you deserve to win a car? If someone pranked me that I’d won the lottery and then I was naturally disappointed to find out I hadn’t, that doesn’t mean I thought I was entitled to win the lottery….

Show quote history

It's people like you who have ruined the lottery

Goldfish41 · 29/09/2023 15:19

TruthSeeker2023 · 29/09/2023 15:19

It's people like you who have ruined the lottery

Show quote history

😂😂😂😂😂

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

10 year olds 18 years old Families
ChristmasKraken · 29/09/2023 15:20

Devilsmommy · 29/09/2023 15:09

What does everyone think op should do apart from a bollocking to her adult dd? Very interested to know🤔

I'm glad you've said that, I've been reading this thread trying to work out how people think a parent should "punish" an adult DC? If it was her partner rather than her adult could, would people be suggesting some form of punishment?

whatnot929 · 29/09/2023 15:20

TruthSeeker2023 · 29/09/2023 15:19

It's people like you who have ruined the lottery

Show quote history

Isn't a bit early to be that drunk?

Travelfan2021 · 29/09/2023 15:20

This reply has been withdrawn

Removed at poster's request due to privacy concerns.

Notagains · 29/09/2023 15:21

NeedMyDress · 29/09/2023 15:14

It's a cruel prank but not a huge deal they stopped him before he went to drive off. I actually think your sister and many of the posters on here are overreacting. No one was actually hurt!

I agree. People seem to be extremely sensitive for them to be upset. This sort of pranking is standard in some families
I don't find it at all funny and agree it was unkind. But most pranks are and it sounds as though it is something they do regularly. She didn't hurt anyone and told him before he went to claim the car

moofolk · 29/09/2023 15:22

Wow some of these replies!

Your daughter played a tactless and unkind 'joke' on her cousin who, by the sounds of it, often plays 'jokes' on her.

Yes, it was too far. Yes, it's understandable he's angry but it's not the worst thing one eighteen year old has done to another eighteen year old. Some posters on here need to get a grip.

The parents should butt out, and the kids will probably find this hilarious once the dust settles (which may be some time).

(I'd be absolutely livid if someone did this to me. I don't think it's an ok thing to do but to anyone who says it is uncomfortable needs to get some perspective).

Travelfan2021 · 29/09/2023 15:23

This reply has been withdrawn

Removed at poster's request due to privacy concerns.

ChocolateCroissantCafe · 29/09/2023 15:23

The second I read the word prank I thought, I agree with your sister as I don't have time for them. But with your update that your DD and her DS prank each other regularly, this is a good excuse to get them to call an end to it. They've both seen it backfire now.

IHateLegDay · 29/09/2023 15:24

moofolk · 29/09/2023 15:22

Wow some of these replies!

Your daughter played a tactless and unkind 'joke' on her cousin who, by the sounds of it, often plays 'jokes' on her.

Yes, it was too far. Yes, it's understandable he's angry but it's not the worst thing one eighteen year old has done to another eighteen year old. Some posters on here need to get a grip.

The parents should butt out, and the kids will probably find this hilarious once the dust settles (which may be some time).

(I'd be absolutely livid if someone did this to me. I don't think it's an ok thing to do but to anyone who says it is uncomfortable needs to get some perspective).

Exactly this.

She did a shitty thing and has apologised. I bet not one poster here can say they didn't do anything they regret when they were younger.

Ponderingwindow · 29/09/2023 15:24

A prank should make the person on the receiving end smile, not cause them upset. It’s incredibly hard to design a good prank.

your dd didn’t even try. What she did was pure cruelty. You just need to accept that the family relationship has been changed because of her actions. With time, your sister may be able to focus her negative feelings better and not let them spillover from your daughter on to you.

You need to acknowledge that it’s ok for your sister and nephew to have whatever reaction towards your daughter that they need to have. that might even be to not see her for some time. Your daughter may have to miss some family gatherings, but that is the natural consequence of her choices.

moofolk · 29/09/2023 15:24

moofolk · 29/09/2023 15:22

Wow some of these replies!

Your daughter played a tactless and unkind 'joke' on her cousin who, by the sounds of it, often plays 'jokes' on her.

Yes, it was too far. Yes, it's understandable he's angry but it's not the worst thing one eighteen year old has done to another eighteen year old. Some posters on here need to get a grip.

The parents should butt out, and the kids will probably find this hilarious once the dust settles (which may be some time).

(I'd be absolutely livid if someone did this to me. I don't think it's an ok thing to do but to anyone who says it is uncomfortable needs to get some perspective).

That should have said unforgivable! It's uncomfortable at the very, very least! 😂

Strugglingtodomybest · 29/09/2023 15:24

moofolk · 29/09/2023 15:22

Wow some of these replies!

Your daughter played a tactless and unkind 'joke' on her cousin who, by the sounds of it, often plays 'jokes' on her.

Yes, it was too far. Yes, it's understandable he's angry but it's not the worst thing one eighteen year old has done to another eighteen year old. Some posters on here need to get a grip.

The parents should butt out, and the kids will probably find this hilarious once the dust settles (which may be some time).

(I'd be absolutely livid if someone did this to me. I don't think it's an ok thing to do but to anyone who says it is uncomfortable needs to get some perspective).

I agree.

OP, if you've apologised then I think all you can do now is let the dust settle.

Travelfan2021 · 29/09/2023 15:26

This reply has been withdrawn

Removed at poster's request due to privacy concerns.

DirtyDuchess · 29/09/2023 15:27

I agree with Moofolk. It's not very nice but hardly a think a family should fall out about. Let the kids (adults) sort it out themselves.

Devilsmommy · 29/09/2023 15:30

@YaWeeFurryBastard don't know, I've only got a 1yr old but at 18 shouldn't they already know what would be expected when you've acted like an idiot? Maybe teens are just less mature than when I was one

Mummyoflittledragon · 29/09/2023 15:30

moofolk · 29/09/2023 15:22

Wow some of these replies!

Your daughter played a tactless and unkind 'joke' on her cousin who, by the sounds of it, often plays 'jokes' on her.

Yes, it was too far. Yes, it's understandable he's angry but it's not the worst thing one eighteen year old has done to another eighteen year old. Some posters on here need to get a grip.

The parents should butt out, and the kids will probably find this hilarious once the dust settles (which may be some time).

(I'd be absolutely livid if someone did this to me. I don't think it's an ok thing to do but to anyone who says it is uncomfortable needs to get some perspective).

This. They’re 18. Your sister needs to be told you’re sorry about the situation. Your dd has apologised and explained she didn’t think the implications through. Ask your sister to draw a line under this.

MrsTerryPratchett · 29/09/2023 15:30

Notagains · 29/09/2023 15:21

I agree. People seem to be extremely sensitive for them to be upset. This sort of pranking is standard in some families
I don't find it at all funny and agree it was unkind. But most pranks are and it sounds as though it is something they do regularly. She didn't hurt anyone and told him before he went to claim the car

Show quote history

Empathy is partly innate, partly taught, and partly learned through practise. If the culture in your family is to be cruel and laugh at people, and the response to that is to be meaner and laugh harder, it's probably not a particularly empathetic place.

Laughing at people's embarrassment, unhappiness and hurt, which you caused, is the essence of cruelty.

RinklyRomaine · 29/09/2023 15:31

Blimey! Some very black and white thinking here. It was a very unkind, mean joke, it was horrible to pull the younger sibling in, and I'm glad you gave her a telling off.

At 18 though, punish her? Really? How? This shouldn't be causing a falling out between the parents. The kids need to talk it through and sort it out, or not, depending on their relationship, with their mothers backing off. How will these kids ever learn how to adult?

StoneWashJeansWithAMatchingJacket · 29/09/2023 15:32

The OP has bollocked her adult daughter, said daughter has apologised and I’m not really sure what else the OP can do apart from let the dust settle. The prank wasn’t funny but it hasn’t had life changing consequences, no one was hurt apart from the cousin’s feelings/pride at a push. If it’s disappointment/embarrassment on his part then the sooner everyone stops talking about it and handwringing the better surely? That’s what I’d want if I was him.

Doteycat · 29/09/2023 15:32

Tbh id be furious at her involving a 10yr old.
In this day and age, she should know that asking a 10 yr old to be involved in some secret text messaging prank is appalling behaviour.
Id be reading her the riot act and i sure as shit wouldnt be letting her forget it for a good while. She would have a lot of making up to do.

ZoeCM · 29/09/2023 15:32

TruthSeeker2023 · 29/09/2023 15:06

I think the sister's family sound quite grabby and entitled if they think they deserve to win a car. Most people have to work hard to buy their cars.

Just... WTF? So if someone wins something in a raffle, they should just turn it down because they didn't work for it? How do you think raffles work?

BettyPhuckzer · 29/09/2023 15:33

I'd suggest to DNephew that he takes his time and comes up with a clever prank to play on DD

That'll even it up 🙄

Mummyoflittledragon · 29/09/2023 15:33

Devilsmommy · 29/09/2023 15:30

@YaWeeFurryBastard don't know, I've only got a 1yr old but at 18 shouldn't they already know what would be expected when you've acted like an idiot? Maybe teens are just less mature than when I was one

Or maybe you’ve forgotten what it’s like to be one? When I was 17, some friends scratched ‘slapper’ onto my car door as a prank. Not terribly large. I saw them hiding around the corner laughing at me as they thought it hilarious. I had bought the car with my life savings and sacrifices. I was so upset I never spoke to them again.

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