sister furious at me and DD over DD's prank

[namechangedfri29]

I feel mortified and I don't know what to do or tell DSIS to try and make things better between us.

My DSIS' son is 18 years old and has recently started taking driving lessons. He's got a 10-year-old little sister.

My DD is also 18 years old and very close to DNephew.

My nephew has recently entered an online "raffle" type of competition in the hope of winning a car.

Now, here's the problem. My DD thought it would be funny to pull a prank on her cousin and offer her 10 year old cousin to join along.
From my understanding, they sent a text message from a what seems to be a fake number generated by an online app. The text message was sent to my nephew and congratulated him for winning the car and asked him to come get it from the raffle company's office as soon as possible.
It was only once they were about to go in the car that DD and my niece told them all about the joke.

My DSIS and BIL are now furious at their daughter, my daughter and myself.

Honestly, they are 18yo.
Both adults and both should be able to sort out their issues on their own.

It seems that everyone has forgotten that they are both at an age where they need to face their own shitty ‘prank’ consequences on their own.

The only thing that should have happened is for the dd to genuinely apologise to her cousin. And to put a lot of work in repairing her relationship with her cousin - esp as they both seem to quite like each other.

I feel that the mum intervening has just made things worse tbh.
I mean, why did the dd have to apologise to the nephew’s PARENTS??
Same with ‘the OP didn’t punish her enough’ etc…. Have you tried to punish an adult?!?

But if they have this kind of relationship (i.e. pranking culture) then why is this one so much worse. They got excited for like 10 minutes then DD came clean. Maybe its more the embarrassment about getting excited or the severe disappointment of not receiving a golden ticket from DNephew and his mum than them not seeing the funny side of it. I don't know. If it happened to me I wouldn't believe I had actually won a car until it was parked on my driveway. There is no loss here. Aware that this is definitely a blindspot of mine... or maybe I'm more easygoing than most on this thread.

it's a joke

They’re both adults. Not up to your sister or you to police them 🙄

Sorry but I think this has been blown well out of.proportion, your DD made someone believe they'd won a car....they hadn't. She didn't kill anyone. Everyone needs to calm down

I'm not keen on cruelty and find pranks completely puerile.

However. It was a prank gone too far. Not a wilful attempt at deceit, or getting someone into serious trouble, or cooking up a plan to cause real hurt or pain to someone else.

Therefore all these responses that DD's act was 'unforgiveable', or that she should contribute a substantial sum toward a new car for her cousin (she's 18; teenagers can be thoughtless and idiotic at times) are completely OTT.

A small gift by way of a goodwill gesture and a genuine apology - one which takes responsibility for what she did and gives assurances the behaviour will never be repeated - is a proportionate response.

The responses on this site are sometimes risible. Hope your sister comes round, OP, and that DD has learned her lesson!

Exactly what I was wondering!

Self-flaggelation or crawling over a bank of hot coals, no doubt.

Otherwise, who knows? It's MN, after all ...

Surely by 18 you would know this is a horrible thing to do, it’s not even slightly funny for anyone. I would absolutely furious if my 18 year old daughter this, I feel very sorry for your sister and her son, if I were you I would tell them how cross and upset you are too. I hate this kind of thing so much, letting people get excited because they have won something and the disappointment that it’s a very un funny joke from someone you are supposed to be close to! Horrible

The level of drama on here about a prank by an adult to another adult. It was just a joke about winning a car, surprised he's so upset over it.

Don't get involved, they clearly can't have this type of relationship anymore but don't forget they've been doing this type of thing to each other for years.

No one has died. It's a ridiculous over reaction.

I’d be mortified if my child believed a text message about winning a car in a raffle without first doing more digging tbh. Sorry but speaks to low critical thinking skills on their behalf. It wasn’t a funny joke but him thinking it was real immediately is concerning isn’t it?

If I was your sister I’d be furious too (at your dd). If I were you I’d be furious at my dd. Your dd has behaved shamefully.

This is a horrible prank and if i was him I’d be furious too.

I can see why she is also furious with your son, but I don’t know why she’s furious with you unless she thinks you knew about it.

My family play silly pranks all of the time but they never involve getting someone’s hopes up, as that’s just cruel.

I can only imagine how excited he would have been to win. Poor boy.

As a peace offering your DS could offer to pay for his cousins first driving lesson or to go on a simulator.

Fucking hell 😂the stupidity of this. So no one can ever enter a competition ? Get a grip

To be honest they are both 18 and you say they get on really well. Leave it to them to sort out. It’s unfortunate she got his little sister involved but really your sis shouldn’t be cross with you. I would make out I was very cross and tell my DD that it was pretty mean but I would remind everyone that he still might win!

What a reach!

Why would he not think it was real?

If you entered a competition and then received a message saying you had won that competition, you would also believe it.

I can’t understand for a second where the “hilarious” part was for the boy who believed that he had won a car, got really happy and excited and then found out it was a lie ?

Wondering too.

Maybe posters think the OP should have out her dd on the naughty step or ground her/take away her phone??

And then we’ll have the whole ‘but at 18yo, I was a mum living in my own, how dare you treating an 18 yo like an 8yo’ ….

They let it get to the stage where he thought he was going to pick up the car.

Obviously if it happened over weeks and was kept going then that's mean but if it was within an afternoon, I think it's a bit OTT to all be so angry.

He entered a,competition to.win a car which means anyone in the competition could have won it he didn't expect to win it
I might get a lottery ticket tonight I would love to.win ,does that make me grabby?🙄

I mean.. It’s not funny and I wouldn’t do it but it’s not that bad. Let the cousins sort it out themselves.

But if they have this kind of relationship

Well they clearly haven't, because he was upset!

Even if someone is inane enough to have a "pranking relationship", they can still draw the line at any point and say that one wasn't funny and isn't OK. And since you often don't know where that line is, perhaps it's best to base relationships on bonding activities that don't involve pain, humiliation and emotional distress. Apparently that needs saying!

It's really irrelevant that you think you'd find it hilarious to be told you'd got something you wanted and then be told you hadn't (yeah right). It doesn't oblige anyone else to pretend to find this kind of juvenile shite funny.

Typical mumsnet response so its the Boy,s fault for being to gullible to beleive it.🙄

I completely agree.

Imagine if your DH swapped your lottery ticket for a fake winning one or checked your numbers for you and told you you won.

It would be awful!

Anything that gets peoples hopes up isn’t funny, it’s just cruel.