Things girls need to be taught as soon as possible.

[Gettingbysomehow]

I'm sure this has been done before but:

Men are just ordinary people, they aren't going to rescue you, be your soul mate or necessarily be around for ever, they are not princes from fairy stories so don't live your life waiting for that fairy tale marriage.

Fairy tales don't exist, neither do happy ever afters, romance forever or any of those other things we are fed from a young age.

Never rely on a man, get a career, be ambitious.

Don't have more children than you can comfortably afford to raise on your own.

If you are very lucky you may get a nice man who you can rub along with for the rest of your life but 50% plus of marriages don't last.

Be selfish. Don't sacrifice your hopes and dreams for someone else, be who you want to be. Have boundaries. Have self respect. Don't allow yourself to be treated badly or taken for granted.

Learn how to manage your own life, bills, finances, everything.

The only person you can truly rely on is yourself.

Be happy, do things that make you happy.

Don't believe everything you hear or read.

I don't agree at all, I think these are depressing, loaded messages to give 'girls'.

I emphasise to all my DC (girls & boys) about personal autonomy & responsibility, valuing themselves, financial awareness, respecting others in relationships.

I explain the importance of education & careers.

For girls & women, I agree that understanding their value & not making choices to prioritise their partner's needs is important.

But I still think your statements are reductive & unhelpful.

so basically everything you teach them is a way of putting boys down, great

Having children isn’t the be and end all.

I disagree, girls don't need to be taught this. All children regardless of sex should have positive choices modeled to them by the adults in their lives and be brought up in an environment where they are valued and are given the opportunities to build resilience and self-esteem.

It's those individuals who are not brought up in such a way that people please, try to fix others, look for love in the wrong places. It's parents raising children that need teaching not the children themselves

Exactly. There are important values to inculcate but statements like OP's are unhelpful.

Well said.

Treat others as you would like to be treated or better is one to be added.

having read yet another "i can't leave because i gave up work and we don't have shared finances and wah wah wah" it is clear that what girls need drilling into them from small onwards is: make sure you can support yourself and any children you may have.

There is no reason for women to be so reliant on men. No reason at all. And if it really has to be the woman sacrificing her career and pension for childcare? their finances must be joint, and she must think of her future.

Use effective contraception-controlled by you-every single time you have sex until you are as sure as you possibly can be that you want a baby and if it comes down to it, you want a baby that you can raise alone.

How to say no and that it's OK to do so.

I'm constantly shocked by the number of women who post on MN that they are people pleasers who can't say no.

A lot of that is rooted in parents bringing up girls to acquiesce.

That being found sexually attractive by men isn't your duty or your purpose.

To be independent.

And never, ever, ever go into a relationship with a "fixer-upper".

How to recognise that when you think you’re being super kind and lovely you’re actually being a people pleaser and doormat.

How to say no.

Save money.

What a sad and depressing message to give children. There are ways to ensure they become independent without making them jaded.

Have a career and make sure that if the shit hits the fan you can put a roof over your head and food on the table.

If you don’t think you’re special nobody else will.

@Brefugee

I don't disagree. But simplistic statements aren't the way to go.

It's about educating both boys and girls about appropriate values.

Well I've never believed any of the stuff that you seem to think girls need educating against, and I'm 60!
Just bring all kids up to believe and value their own worth. This includes those who can't forge a career, who may be less able academically etc. we all have our own worth. Help them to know theirs.

Agree with this. OP, your post comes across quite bitter. It’s one thing to teach your daughters about autonomy and responsibility, but you seem like you want to teach your daughters to have an unhealthy view of marriage.

Some marriages are bad, some don’t last but I wouldn’t tell my daughter she would be lucky enough to ‘rub along ok’ with a man! I would try to instil some positivity as well, not all men are evil narcissists out to destroy womenkind.

This!

👏👏👏👏

Work out what a manipulative man looks like. It's one that says sorry but you still feel like shit afterwards and nothing changes.

This is absolutely right. You will waste your time. Also, if you don't like his parents, throw him back: the apple does not fall far from tree.

Yikes! What sad, depressing messages. These say far more about you than they will do to help anyone.

This! If the parents make good choices, have healthy stable relationships, value themselves, value education etc then the children will not need doom laden 'lessons'