I just can’t fucking get on board with this one

[Streamorwatchlive]

From The Guardian today.

Never swear in front of your kids. Sandahl says swearing encourages a reduction in vocabulary. “‘Fuck’ is a catch-all word: but we’ve got a beautiful language, and we have so many words to express what we feel,” she says.

I’d like to see this evidence that by including swear words in your vocabulary that you are simultaneously reducing it overall. I swear like a trooper and I am a writer with a fantastic vocab (not a commercial tabloid type, this isn’t for a story don’t worry!)

In the real world, of course, we all swear occasionally: and, if you do, the important thing, says Sandahl, is to own it, to maybe laugh about it, to explain why you’re feeling frustrated. “Instead, be honest about the fact that you overreacted; ask your child what better word you could have used instead.”

first off I take issue with the fact that one might only swear when frustrated or angry. I rarely swear in aggression.

secondly, the thought of getting down to a 3 year old’s level and saying ‘let’s think of ten beautiful words mummy could have used instead of fuck’ is ludicrous.

I’d rather teacher my child that words are words and all words can be beautiful I’m the right context.

thoughts?

Personally I hate swearing and would much prefer a conversation without. This is more than likely because my DH can’t string a sentence together without at least one F word in it and many many sentences make the point he’s trying to make. I have 4 boys who all swear like troopers too, blaming their father for the influence he had on them swearing as they grew up. I don’t buy into that as they control their own mouths. Their favourite swear word I’d the C bomb.

I once told a class of foul mouthed teenage girls that if they used an act of love or a private part of their bodies as aggressive or contemptuous then they are defining themselves by their language. I am nearly 80 now and have never found it necessary to use words like these.

Totally agree, I had the same thoughts when I read that. I swear for fun not to overreact and it’s interesting this person assumed that swearing is something one does when one completely loses their mind… presumably because that’s when they do it.

Anthony Burges - “The fucking fucker’s fucking fucked!” 🤣

This. I didn't swear from of my kids when they were little, but once they are teenagers and understand when it's ok and when it's not, I relaxed around them.

I’ve always had a potty mouth.
When I was late teen/early twenties, fuck or something fuckery was every other word.
Then I had children and barely swore.
However, nowadays I swear when I’m angry which isn’t often thankfully but it can be in front of the kids. It can be to the kids as well when I have been thoroughly pushed to the edge (don’t judge me you don’t know me or my life or my mental health). Thankfully, that doesn’t happen often either but it has happened. That’s when they know they’ve overstepped the line.
They do not repeat anything I say

My child just started secondary and the amount of swearing I see in the chats from the new school is horrendous for 11/12 year olds. This is because they are growing up in families where swearing is normalised and they just continue the tradition. The fact is once you get swear words into your vocabulary it is very difficult to get it out. The way it we speak is a major part of people's perception of us and is really important to their future. I think it's lazy parenting to either swear directly at children or not being able to contain yourself from
swearing in front of them and it has a negative effect their future. Once they are adults they can decide for themselves but whilst they are young they copy their parents so it is our responsibility to do the right thing.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I spit my coffee out when I read that. That sounds like my eldest (who is in his 30s now) would have done.

Yup, mine are grown now. They learnt swearing at school first, not home. I used to wait until they were in bed or school to have a good swear.

F is the fave word in our family. I can't think of the last time I heard anyone use anything other.

I think f has become part of the normal now. Like they used to use bloody and bugger when I was young, F seems to have taken its place.

So does this mean lots of people are actually saying fuck in front of their kids?

I’m totally out of touch if they are.

My boss and I were on out absolutely best behaviour when we first met. So many blinkings and for goodness sakes, it was so obvious we were just waiting to blow.

It happened. It was an absolute fuckfest. So very good to know you can let rip when it's needed.

A professor of mine once blew in a lecture and managed to use cunt as a verb, adjective, conjunctive and noun in a single sentence.

I swear a lot , specially if I’m stressed . Of course I know how to behave , I work in a struck environment.
None if my children swear at all . It’s almost weird lol . They know they cannot swear and until now they are doing well

We have builders working next door. I so love to hear their fruity language. Literally every fifth word is fuck. I don’t fucking mind, but fuck, you’d think there are some other fucking words to fucking use. My kids love it too.

The irony of this is that I never heard my parents swear in front of my brother and I.

But now at 46 (and my brother at 41), we both swear like sailors.

We never got it from our parents. We just got older and heard more swear words from all sources (tv, other kids, other people etc). My swearing vocabulary kicked in during secondary school 😂

Time and place. I taught my children that it is generally better not to swear in public. Too frequent use of swear words when every other word is ‘fuck’ as it seems the majority of script writers of American films and programmes feel is necessary, makes the context and impact meaningless. As well as being bloody annoying!

From a Canadian/Brit - the cringe is LMAO hilarious.

I was stunned Americans are so emotional about it.

I swear. I teach my child the difference between what is ok for grown ups and kids. My child doesn’t swear.

To think mums don’t think their kids will hear swearing!!!

As a linguist and well versed in literature of different languages, I very rarely swore generally unless I was drunk. Since having DC oh the words that come out of my mouth on a daily basis! Do try to cover it and not aimed directly at them but they do hear and tall me off! Guess it's the ultimate way we can express ourselves in our most challenged moments. I have friends who can't say a sentence without the fuck word and that's how I feel I am lol x

Fuck is an amazing, versatile word!

Fuck a duck
Fuck right off
Tired as fuck
Fuck it
Fuck me
For fuck’s sake
Fuck no
Fuck yeah
Give a fuck
What the fuck?
You’re fucked
I’ve fucked up
Fucking idiot
I can’t fucking believe it
Where the fuck is….

I could go on. Try not to speak like this in front of my son but it make have slipped out before!

I swear in front of mine and my son has a fantastic vocabulary (and he knows the swears are only for grown ups to use). I will admit that sometimes I do say “sorry I shouldn’t have said that” as I do think I’ve got a bit too sweary as I’ve got older.

I regularly enlighten my children about other non catch all swear words. Like moron and some more historical ones too Shakespeare swore and insulted like a trooper.

We were looking after my sisters kitten at the in-laws house and it got stuck up their chimney after an hour for coaxing the kitty’s (formerly a pale grey fluff ball) dropped to the floor totally black in a cloud of soot my 5yr old DD just smiled and said her first ever “oh fuck”

i was so proud.

This is a sad read.
We have a wonderful language. Why why why are some so undisciplined they are addicted to regular swearing (gutter vocabulary was what it was called when I was a child)
Some say that it must be ok ‘cos I have a degree’ In my world (SE England not far from London)this just means your education has failed you.
We don’t stop being parents when our children become adults. If we use gutter language, by example so will our children.
If our choice of friends use gutter language, this will become your vocabulary too. Choose your friends most carefully, we learn from them.
Good Luck to those who have a decent appropriate vocabulary. Life is hard enough trying to survive without having the disadvantage of having a swearing addiction.

I agree, sometimes it really says what you need to say. I also like DickHead aka me y version of DH for the ex. Arsehole really suits him too. WTF or fucking hell just says it so much better when someone does something dumb and dangerous on the road.

I wasn't great on the whole don't swear in front of the kids thing, but at 10 DD knows when swearing is and isn't appropriate, ie not in front of the teachers at school, but at home it's ok to say fuck when you hurt yourself badly.

Can't swear at work infront of clients, even if I bang my head on a cupboard etc, so taught myself to say a different word.
Won't say it here as its unusual but inoffensive to any religion/age/blah etc

Useful and makes me laugh now when I use it.
Whilst the f- word is no longer offensive to me, I still use it occasionally but I do think it shows a lack of language versatility if you use it all the time. And if someone hears me say it, they know we are truly f---'d.

sorry but it is simply not true that sweary teens grow up in families where swearing is normalized.

No swearing at our home. I am struct with kids about it because they need to know there is a time and place, and they need to be able to talk and express themselves without swearing.

But on their chats with friends it is a fuck fest.

thats Ok. that is exactly the point of learning a time and place!

😂