I just can’t fucking get on board with this one

[Streamorwatchlive]

From The Guardian today.

Never swear in front of your kids. Sandahl says swearing encourages a reduction in vocabulary. “‘Fuck’ is a catch-all word: but we’ve got a beautiful language, and we have so many words to express what we feel,” she says.

I’d like to see this evidence that by including swear words in your vocabulary that you are simultaneously reducing it overall. I swear like a trooper and I am a writer with a fantastic vocab (not a commercial tabloid type, this isn’t for a story don’t worry!)

In the real world, of course, we all swear occasionally: and, if you do, the important thing, says Sandahl, is to own it, to maybe laugh about it, to explain why you’re feeling frustrated. “Instead, be honest about the fact that you overreacted; ask your child what better word you could have used instead.”

first off I take issue with the fact that one might only swear when frustrated or angry. I rarely swear in aggression.

secondly, the thought of getting down to a 3 year old’s level and saying ‘let’s think of ten beautiful words mummy could have used instead of fuck’ is ludicrous.

I’d rather teacher my child that words are words and all words can be beautiful I’m the right context.

thoughts?

I was meant to quote a post above and it didn’t work

But none of us exists in a vacuum. If I called someone a fucking idiot they would probably take offence because society has deemed these words to be offensive.

Swearing is just a habit though isn't it?
I have had several customer facing roles throughout my working life so I am just not in the habit of swearing - unless I am driving

@Streamorwatchlive the awareness that other people have different preferences. Ok to swear in front of your own children if that's your preference but you should also be aware that others would prefer their young children not to have to hear it. The lack of control is when people are so ingrained with peppering their language with swear words that they can't stop themselves from doing it.

I very rarely swear; I worked in the public sector all adult life and got so fed up with customers who used 4 letter words at me, often said aggressively and with threats included. I don't treat people like that, if I have to deal with authorities on a personal issue I try to be polite and I never swear, if I am unhappy I can think of umpteen words to use to express myself.

There is a time and a place to swear. Try taking an eight year old to a football match!

My teen knows when and where it is acceptable to swear.

Fuck that! There are loads of studies indicating that swearing is a sign of intelligence. I am also a writer (again not here for stories) and I have no vocabulary issues and neither does my child. I do try not to swear in front of him mostly largely because of the judgement of others, but to honest I really don’t care that much if he goes on to swear profusely. Some of the most intelligent and articulate people I know swear heavily and often very creatively.

In Spanish “joder” (fuck) and even “coño” (c**t) are used extremely casually by pretty much everyone, they’re not even regarded as swear words really, just expressions of amazement or frustration etc.

Nothing feels better at the end of a long day than saying "Fuckin' 'ell, I'm fuckin fucked."

But not in front of the kids, no.

The lack of control is when people are so ingrained with peppering their language with swear words that they can't stop themselves from doing it.

I agree, which is why I think it is a habit.

I speak English as my first language and have degree level French and German as well as passable Spanish so my vocabulary is hardly small.
Still use the word fuck a fucking fuck load of fucking times!

the awareness that other people have different preferences. Ok to swear in front of your own children if that's your preference but you should also be aware that others would prefer their young children not to have to hear it.

hang on. My preference is to swear. So are you not in fact showing a lack of awareness by not swearing in front of my children @WallaceinAnderland?
There is no absolute moral right/ wrong here.

@loislovesstewie swearing at people aggressively is a different thing. If someone in your job told you to fuck off or told you you were a fat ugly pig. Would the swearing offend you more? Being nasty to people is never warranted and is nothing to do with swearing

I interviewed a sweary chap once and asked him to refrain from swearing, he told me he wasn't f**ing swearing! I told him he was; he was too thick to know that it was a swear word or what it meant. Another customer put him right!

There's a quote from I'm not sure who (might be Billy Connelly!) that goes "There's no such thing as bad language, only language used badly".

I think that's very true and it's what I've told my DC.

I'm not much of a swearer, mainly because I work with children and watch my language, however sometimes as others have said, fuck is the only fitting word!!

DH swears like a trooper but he also has a far better vocabulary than I do he doesn't usually swear in every day life, although when with his friends it happens. But never in front of other peoples children, that's the parents discretion if they're happy for their child to hear swearwords.

DS knows a few due to DH, but we have made sure he is aware that sometimes swearing upsets people, so they are labeled as "daddy words" in our house and I have been told off by him for swearing. I think he understands it to mean only daddies can say them 🤦‍♀️ it works for us.

@Findyourneutralspace

I don’t swear around kids generally, but once they hit late teens it’s game over.

Absolutely, and then wait until they have children and you have cultivated a potty mouth and find yourself being told off by them.
does walk of shame

Actually yes, the 4 letter words did get to me. It was often a normal conversation but peppered with ,both, 4 letter words. Something like;'
' Well that's a fing stupid decision'
' If you think that's fing right, your are a twt.
I pay my fing taxes, so you do what I want!
Some people just use both 4 letter words as they can't express themselves otherwise. They do have a lack of vocabulary and don't have the skills to argue their points .

I don't think it's ok to swear casually around my children. I have sometimes done it in the car, I'm not perfect. But I've managed decades in the classroom without a single swear word (even when I've hurt myself) so I do think parents could manage to do it for ten years or so.
Children say fuck in front of me far more than they did when I started teaching.

I almost never swear in front of anyone so definitely not kids. Even if I dropped my dinner on the floor and I was the only one in the room I probably wouldnt swear. My kiddos are now young adults. Eldest swears a lot, youngest never. Both know that swearing within earshot of me is a no. Same as they wouldnt swear in hearing of their grandparents.

The English language is vast and diverse, Ive never felt the need to clutter it up with words that would embarrass my nana if she heard me say them.

My preference is to swear. So are you not in fact showing a lack of awareness by not swearing in front of my children

I think the default is to not swear in front of young children in a public place. Or children and families that you don't know (and therefore don't know their preference). It's better manners and generally accepted as inoffensive.

Not sure why it's in bold print!

I don’t swear in front of other people’s children, but I’ve swore in front of my own 🤷🏼‍♀️

Huh? Surely most people don’t purposefully swears in front of kids, especially when they get chastised for that very same thing?

My grandmother, had she not died in 1991, would be horrified by virtually everything about me, not just my vocabulary, but my qualifications, my FT job, my one child by choice, my atheism, my gay friends, my male friends, my non-white friends, my cleaner, my long hair at 51 etc etc.

I really don’t think ‘Would this shock granny?’ is necessarily the best guide to adult behaviour.

I think society accepts men swearing but not women as much.

DH swears a lot, which doesn't bother me, but when I do it he gets grumpy and says don't swear.

Even at work, people do swear occasionally. But a 'we're fucked' from me sends everyone's eyebrows raising into their hairline 🙄

The first time my kids heard me swear they were properly shocked. They were 18 by then though.
Never swore in front of them as children. I don't like to hear swearing as part of every day conversation. I don't swear very often, only when very frustrated. Flat pack construction for example.