I just can’t fucking get on board with this one

[Streamorwatchlive]

From The Guardian today.

Never swear in front of your kids. Sandahl says swearing encourages a reduction in vocabulary. “‘Fuck’ is a catch-all word: but we’ve got a beautiful language, and we have so many words to express what we feel,” she says.

I’d like to see this evidence that by including swear words in your vocabulary that you are simultaneously reducing it overall. I swear like a trooper and I am a writer with a fantastic vocab (not a commercial tabloid type, this isn’t for a story don’t worry!)

In the real world, of course, we all swear occasionally: and, if you do, the important thing, says Sandahl, is to own it, to maybe laugh about it, to explain why you’re feeling frustrated. “Instead, be honest about the fact that you overreacted; ask your child what better word you could have used instead.”

first off I take issue with the fact that one might only swear when frustrated or angry. I rarely swear in aggression.

secondly, the thought of getting down to a 3 year old’s level and saying ‘let’s think of ten beautiful words mummy could have used instead of fuck’ is ludicrous.

I’d rather teacher my child that words are words and all words can be beautiful I’m the right context.

thoughts?

And now I've learnt there's a word for the way I talk all the [fucking] time

I have an Oxbridge English degree and work in a wordy profession, but still swear like a trooper. My mother used to tell me it was a sign of a limited vocabulary, but what the fuck would she know?

@MsFrost no I probably wouldn’t be comfortable with it because I live in society and am conditioned too. That’s the difference between beliefs and actions

He doesn't like it. Are you telling him he isn't allowed to know what he feels comfortable with?

erm, no. But that doesn’t mean other people need to amend their behaviour to suit him does it?

I don't accept the idea that "it's just a word" people can imbue any word with negativity and they certainly can cause hurt.

you’ve contradicted yourself. As you say any word could cause hurt in certain circumstances. Swear words aren’t special.

Also you’re failing to distinguish the between aggressive swearing I.e ‘fuck off’ and using a swear word ‘that cake is fucking amazing’.

If you want to “see the evidence” it is there for you to view if you look for it so I don’t think you really do want to see the evidence

do point me in the direction of it then @PeppermintMandy as all I find is research showing the opposite

Surely there's an element of conditioning inherent in the words themselves though (as there is in all language - because language is basically a product of society?)

I mean swear words themselves are a product of society.

The whole point of them is that they are a bit risque and shocking.

Otherwise they would not be swear words and people wouldn't use them in the way they do anyway. Saying 'fuck' would be no worse than saying 'by gosh!' or something equally lame.

The whole point is to shock, because of societal rules and boundaries. If you take that away then the words are meaningless.

I rarely swear . I work with a girl who constantly F's and I find it jarring . It's like tattoos on women not very lady like .

My swearing has in no way reduced my fucking vocabulary.

If all children started using swear words like fuck all the time, they would become more tame and lose their meaning.

Other words would be along to replace them, which adults would deem that children should not use.

That's the way it works. The entire point of a word like 'fuck' is that it's shocking and children are not meant to use it.

If you take away the shock value then it will just be replaced.

I love that @WallaceinAnderland! I've seen it so many times but every time I laugh like a drain

I was the same as you - never swore when they were little… but now teenagers.
My go to phrase is ‘for fucks sake’! It’s just perfect.

IMO. No words are bad. It’s context, how they are said, tone of voice etc

read on here swearing is from a rich history of vocabulary Also read somewhere that swearing relives tension/stress.

and some where else that one of the first things some stroke victims say are ‘swear words’.

roch vocabulary or not swear words are words and there are places and situations that are in appropriate to use them. Swearing in front of kids won’t damage them fgs.

I rarely swear . I work with a girl who constantly F's and I find it jarring . It's like tattoos on women not very lady like

watch out everyone here comes the
“Lady-like’ police.

If all children started using swear words like fuck all the time, they would become more tame and lose their meaning.

Other words would be along to replace them, which adults would deem that children should not use

agree, this has happened. Crap was considered a swear word when I was at school. Now it’s on a tv advert. Same with words like fart, git etc etc

Luckily I couldn’t give two fucks about being lady like 😉

I am not very fucking ladylike 😂.

Who shoved a big old stick up your arse? @hattie43

😂😂

Lord save me from being ‘ladylike’.

There is no robust evidence whatsoever showing the opposite.

Researchers have tried to debunk the POV theory for years. Poverty of Vocabulary theory states that those who swear regularly are of lower socio intellectual status, are less effective at their jobs and less friendly.

Researchers have asked people to say as many “offensive” words beginning with f, s & r as they can. Generally better educated, more successful people could list more swear words however listing words and using words in your daily vocabulary is very, very different.

Linguistic experts and vocabulary philosophers also draw meaningful distinction between exclamation swear words like “fuck”, pejoratives such as “mother fucker” and slurs like “slut”.

If words are just words you’ll be fine with your 10 year old son saying “fuck” when he drops something but equally fine if he calls women sluts and people with developmental disorders r. It’s all just words after all.

I really don't care about swearing in front of children / children swearing. Life is really too short and we all have much bigger problems

I'm fine with the odd judicious 'fuck' in an otherwise interesting conversation for emphasis or if something surprising happens. I don't swear much though around the children and they don't swear much at home, it's not forbidden, it's just not a thing.

I'm not fine with the aggressive 'fuck' (and 'fucking cunt') I hear all the time on the bus, from very aggressive men, swearing in front of everyone on the bus, or in the street. I've heard this a lot recently in the past couple of years in our town and it's coincided with poverty increasing/cost of living issues and people perhaps feeling frustrated and angry in public more than in the past. That's not a good thing IMO.

Thing is, some people can code-switch and know exactly when and how to drop a polite 'fuck' and some don't. I don't think generally encouraging loud swearing in public enhances social life at all.

Imo swearing Infront of kids is horrible

I think my DD was about 11 when she told me off for swearing and informed me that I really should try to improve my vocabulary.

bollocks.

sorry, in case of doubt, I meant it's another versatile word . It's my go-to word in many contexts.

I swear and so does DH and DD2 15 but my 17 year old hardly ever does. In fact I can't think of a single time she has.
We have reduced swearing a lot though since DS was born. He's 3 and still non verbal but if he does start talking I don't want his first word to be fuck.

The worst words out a parent's mouth to a young child IMO is shut up (directed at them), or obviously even worse, shut the fuck up. Just awful. Poor children.

There are research studies that show the opposite is actually the case statistically. Obviously there are some people who don't express themselves well, have limited vocabulary, and use swear words a lot indiscriminately. There are likewise people who have limited vocabulary, don't express themselves well, and don't swear. But it's not true overall.