What is it with my neighbour’s camper van?

[ArseInTheCoOpWindow]

They moved in 18 months ago. 4 bed semi. They have one child. Drive with carport and garage. They have 2 cars and bloody camper parked opposite my house. I hate it with a vengeance.

They never go on holiday in it. It never moves. His front door is always half open. This is the only door like this on the road.

Hes in and out of that cunting van every 2 minutes. He loves to pull the doors back and let them SLAM into position from 7.30 am every morning. He never seems to take anything into it, or out of it ever. But he’s in and out of it like a rat off a sinking ship every 5 minutes.

I hate him😖 Yank SLAM, yank SLAM , yankSLAM every bloody day all fucking day.

Whats going on in there?!😭

A marijuana factory? No idea but you have my sympathy.

He's obviously doing something nefarious in there. I'd be keeping an eye on him 👀 !

Just mind your own business. Get a hobby ffs.

His home office?
Gaming central?
Escape pod from family?

Could he be having an affair?

🤣🤣🤣

Sleeper cell creating an identity.

Sounds as though he sleeps in it if you hear the door close from 7am.

I'd he actually in the process of converting it? I know several people who've done DIY conversions and take several years

Maybe she is claiming single person benefits for her and her child but he lives in the house and the camper van is the hideyhole?

go on to dvla car check and make sure it is taxed and mot'd. it is not allowed on the road if it isnt! If it comes up as no tax or no mot then there is a bit where you can report it!

I’d assume he works in there and I’d also assume it’s not every five mins and you’re exaggerating, thr reason for the latter assumption is no one would spend every day all day going in and out every five mins literally.

I do feel your pain SO MUCH. But you will soon get the 'it's a free country he can park where he likes' brigade telling you to suck it up buttercup. aka the ones who have NEVER had this happen to them!!! I HATE people parking on my residential road, opposite my driveway/virtually opposite. And 3 times out of 4, they have their own driveway, (all 2, 3, and 4 car driveways!) but they CBA to park it on there, as it's just easier to take off from the road in the morning/afternoon etc. 🙄 So selfish and rude and inconsiderate.

One of our neighbours opposite had a big ugly blue van parked virtually opposite our house for FIVE MONTHS last summer. He only ever moved or for 2 or 3 hours at a time, once or twice a week! Drove us batshit and made it hard to reverse in. We had to clip the kerb, almost hit the fence, and had to do 5, 6, and 7 point turns to get into our own fucking driveway. To add insult to injury, they have a 4 car driveway, and only one car on it. He could absolutely have parked it on there. But couldn't be fucked!

Why did we not say anything? I don't know. Probably would have got 'it's a free country, and a public road etc etc etc... ' And they would be right. But this is a case of just because you CAN do something, that doesn't necessarily mean you should! And at that point, me and DH would have bought an old banger car with 12 months tax and MOT on it, and when he moved the van for a few hours, we would have put it RIGHT THERE on the road - exactly opposite where he usually puts the van, on our side, and left it there for the full 12 months. THAT would have stopped him parking the blue beast there.

Why are people such absolute inconsiderate wankers who do not give a SHIT about anyone else?! I despair.

Not much help or advice @ArseInTheCoOpWindow SORRY! Only advice is to ask them to move it somewhere else.

😂go and find someone else to be snippy with.

He works in the front bedroom. And never stays in the van. Just pops in and out every 5 minutes.

As for a hobby. I’ve got long Covid. He is my hobby.

And yesterday they went on holiday their car.

This van had no use. Except to slam doors.

But @Janieforever thats a a great idea. I could time his visits and report back if you like?

Why do you think l said his front door is always half open?

I feel your pain, we have one opposite too, an ancient and not attractive camper van. It never moves except for a few minutes to drive around the block or go for repairs. He spends every day under it, on top of it and in it doing stuff with the air of a formula 1 technician. I purposely didn’t trim back a tree and hedge so I can’t see it as much. I believe it is his Hobby as opposed to a viable means of transportation.
It’s been a year now. I can barely reverse out because of it. But yes, it’s entirely legal and he can have it there.
I suggest increasing garden foliage OP. But it’s pain in the arse.

Maybe he has kidnapped someone!

A camper van? Well, obviously it's a mobile meth lab - have you never seen Breaking Bad?? 😁

People who leave their front doors open in my estate normally do so as they’re confident no one will dare nor want to come in.

Maybe his family are just really annoying and he goes in there to get away from them but he is still on edge hence the door slamming.

Yes, l think l will grow the hedge.

Its a naice area. No one leaves their front door open except him. He’s probs got loads worth nicking.

But he can’t bear to be parted from his stationary van for longer then 5 minutes.

I’d be fuming but curious. Maybe he’s got someone living in it?

I’m going with meth lab.

He keeps a person in there
He keeps a pet in there
He keeps alcohol or fags in there and is trying to hide it from his family
He uses it as a kind of shed so it has all his tools and crap in there

OP I’m with you they grind my fucking gears. Ugly monstrosities cluttering up streets. They should be compulsorily parked on drives, if you don’t have a drive fuck off with owning a camper.

Cars I can deal with but they’re like buses and irrationally annoy me, especially if unused.