What is it with my neighbour’s camper van?

[ArseInTheCoOpWindow]

They moved in 18 months ago. 4 bed semi. They have one child. Drive with carport and garage. They have 2 cars and bloody camper parked opposite my house. I hate it with a vengeance.

They never go on holiday in it. It never moves. His front door is always half open. This is the only door like this on the road.

Hes in and out of that cunting van every 2 minutes. He loves to pull the doors back and let them SLAM into position from 7.30 am every morning. He never seems to take anything into it, or out of it ever. But he’s in and out of it like a rat off a sinking ship every 5 minutes.

I hate him😖 Yank SLAM, yank SLAM , yankSLAM every bloody day all fucking day.

Whats going on in there?!😭

Probably a smoker who doesn't want to smoke in the house but also doesn't want to smoke outside.

I know a couple of people who use their camper/caravan as a smoking hut.

Drinking? smoking? snorting coke? watching porn? Maybe all of the above? It's his man-cave escape hatch most likely. He's likely feeding some addiction or other in there. That's why he's in and out so frequently. He pops out to take a nip from a flask or something...

This could be us. Are you jealous op? What does it matter if someone has a campervan and when you think they should go away in it. Curtain twitcher!

No not jealous.

It matters because I’m sick of him slamming the fucking doors all day every day, when it has no function except to block the road and daylight from my house.

You bet I’m a curtain twitcher

@pompomdaisy
You think people are jealous of you because you have a campervan? 😅

I wonder if you're one of my neighbours. I have exactly the same situation opposite. He spent 3 years converting a van, and then finally sold it. A few weeks later another rust bucket appeared and he's been tinkering with this one for at least a year. OP, you have my sympathy. It's a pain in the arse to have someone constantly making a noise, and little things like this can really begin to wear you down when it's been months / years of constant irritation.

Those in the campervanning community call this noise the "swish BANG"
There are memes and even t-shirts. Perhaps you could get him one as an anonymous gift, OP?

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼what a great idea!

😂😂 bless you. No one is jealous of a camper van.

but you are adorable 😊

He’ll be converting/ renovating it. I’ve been doing mine for nearly four years and it’s still not finished.

You can whinge about them being parked legally on a street all you want, but it’s not going to get you very far as long as they’re taxed and insured. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Families commonly have two or three cars per household now, which takes up more parking space on the road than a campervan, so I’m not seeing the problem, personally.

I’d rather the sound of a van door closing than the sound of screaming children, personally… we all have our personal bugbears, don’t we.

I am jealous of ALL the camper vans.

🤷🏻‍♀️ Families commonly have two or three cars per household now, which takes up more parking space on the road than a campervan, so I’m not seeing the problem, personally

He’s got two cars as well.

The posters against you on here op are nobs. The swish bang would annoy most people

Lastarse · Today 13:00

People who leave their front doors open in my estate normally do so as they’re confident no one will dare nor want to come in.

what ARE you two on about??

i live in a naice area.

my front door is almost always wide open

I like fresh air blowing through the house. So shoot me.

😂😂😂😂🙄

Is he wearing all yellow?

S@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

I'm sorry to hear about the long covid flowers 💐

maybe be grateful he leaves the front open or it would be double slamming.

im going for Breaking Bad activity, with him taking stuff in & out under the cover of darkness.

Go & ask (in a 'curious neighbour' way)

Do you live on a road of tightly packed semis where you can see into your opposite neighbours bedroom?

Because if I lived n a big detached house set back from the road l might. But not where l can see the radiator in someone’s house.

This!

...or the camper van is a disabled evil transformer and he's trying to fix it because he's a d#@k and selling out the human race for money...but doesn't realise the obvious truth- if all humans die, he won't need money.
What a sad, and silly evil human! God speed op!

And then come back and tell us.

To those that say you need a hobby I suppose they like being woken up every day at seven and then kept awake by what we now know is swish bang.

Might send a dead crow with swish bang in it😂🤔

I'm afraid we own a large van in an unattractive colour. It is on our driveway but it doesn't really beautify the street. We do however refrain from the regular slamming of it's side door at 7am so our neighbours are luckier than they probably realise.

Every single person who writes FFS within a reply to a post on this message forum should be locked in a camper van until they repent.

People who park camper vans/caravans on the street are the most inconsiderate neighbours and make the whole street look rough... you have my sympathy.

I would find a hobby, OP. If the van is legal, then no authority is going to get involved with "Swish, bang" at 7am. It might be annoying, but a lot of things are.🙄