What is it with my neighbour’s camper van?

[ArseInTheCoOpWindow]

They moved in 18 months ago. 4 bed semi. They have one child. Drive with carport and garage. They have 2 cars and bloody camper parked opposite my house. I hate it with a vengeance.

They never go on holiday in it. It never moves. His front door is always half open. This is the only door like this on the road.

Hes in and out of that cunting van every 2 minutes. He loves to pull the doors back and let them SLAM into position from 7.30 am every morning. He never seems to take anything into it, or out of it ever. But he’s in and out of it like a rat off a sinking ship every 5 minutes.

I hate him😖 Yank SLAM, yank SLAM , yankSLAM every bloody day all fucking day.

Whats going on in there?!😭

Definitely Meth Lab (which my autocorrect changed to Meth Alan and now I'm wondering if I know him).

Or man shed. He does occasionally have tools in his hand when popping in and out.

But why would you spend 50k on a tool shed?

Rather than producing drugs, I suspect he's selling them. Someone "nonchalantly" walks along the street, he sees them from his upstairs "office", then he pops out, sells them a gram or whatever and on they walk.

Probably one that locks behind you and he doesn't want to be messing about with keys.

Why don't you casually walk over and look the camper van up and down and say to him that your parents are thinking of buying one now they are retired but don't know anything about them.

What should they look out for and indicate you'd like a nosey inside.

Make sure you tell someone where you're going in case you go in but don't come back out!

On my street there is a monster camper van - big and ugly and apparently immobile. It is parked on a corner all the bloody time. Never moves. It’s in a busy corner, close to three schools and traffic backs up for ages because the bloody camper van makes a sharp corner so narrow that only one car can fit on the street.

I feel for the house next door to it because they have permanently lost the parking spot outside their house.

what is the point of this camper van???

its got a handle and I’ve seen him open it and walk in with no keys.

With the OW installed in the camper van parked up at his house? 🤣🤣🤣

So if he's not locking it can you risk a quick peek when they're out? We have 2 camper vans permanently outside ours, neither owner as far as we know lives in our street. One is an old noisy VW camper. All they do is occasionally leave for a few hours then return. Narrow road so cars can only park one one side of it.

Dd and her friend had a nosey in it on the way to school last year.

Unfortunately it just contains cabinets and a sink☹️

What, with the van?

His front door is always half open. This is the only door like this on the road.

Nope, try as I might, I can’t make sense of this or see it’s relevance.

Ask them to move it?

Just tell him to shut the FUCK up. Sick of inconsiderate twats and their bastard noise.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow you have indeed too much time on your hands.

His special man van for regular w*nking sessions 😳😂

It’s so he can get in and out of his van easily!

But Long Covid is shit. And l need something to pass away the hours.

However Dh doesn’t have Long Covid. He hates him too, especially the door slamming. He likes a lie in😴

Dd has become obsessed too. I fear we are a sad household😊

Can't you ask him?

Saunter past and stop as he comes out.

"Hello neighbour, lovely weather isn't it? Why are you always in and out of your camper van? What you got in there? Lord Lucan? ha ha ha"

I'll join you on the "should have a hobby" bench because I get similarly enraged at the fucking company vans that seem to be multiplying along my road. Parking is already tricky but now the two- or three-car households have an additional massive van taking up even more space. Fair enough if you're self employed, but lots of these are from big companies (think Wildanet etc) - why can't they park them at work??

Is he a fatty?

Could he be getting his 10,000 steps a day in by going from the bedroom to the van and back?

I don’t think they should be allowed to park on small suburban roads.

Not allowed to smoke in the house?

Go put a sign on the camper door: “Stop slamming this fucking door”.

He is a pervert