Tell me you're a parent without telling me you're a parent

[Peachpicklepie]

I'll go first. I've just put a piece of half eaten peanut butter toast on the roof of my car and driven off.
Your turn.

I still do this even though my great lads would just launch us both through the windscreen!

The first thing I did this morning was deal with three unflushed toilets.

I drive 15 miles every Friday evening in order to accommodate 2 sets of tennis lessons and Brownies.

I have, on more than one occasion, stood in a supermarket checkout queue rocking a trolley without a child in it.

The cheapo Primark pyjamas I bought nearly nine years ago for my hospital bag are now my WFH attire.

I rock my shopping trolley back and forth soothingly if there's a long queue at the supermarket

I spend my days arguing/negotiating with a tiny version of myself

When someone of any age is going to bed, I occasionally remind them, “don't forget your teeth”.

My tits and belly sag 🤷‍♀️

I clear a space on the table so I can sit down, turn my back to do something and then, within minutes, return to it to find that space is full of clutter again.

I scout out the pub or restaurant’s menu to make sure there’s something my dds will like.

DH and I both were wide awake at 3am and decided to drive 150 miles to take a forgotten item to someone who only realised when she was 5 miles from her destination.....

Very evening for an hour or so and much longer at weekends, my house echoes to shouts of "it's a kid; kill the kid" or comments like
"that's my favourite gun".
For those who haven't got to this stage yet or are beyond it, this is to do with Fortnite. I reassure myself that when DS left primary school recently, he got the kindness award.

I go to bed with tinnitus most nights..

I call upstairs " I'm putting on the dishwasher. Bring down your mugs and plates".

There is a large snake in my car

I was giving my mum a lift somewhere and said “do you want the toilet before we go?”

Also have the piles of brace elastics never actually in the bin but just left beside it ...

Also have in depth knowledge of stick on ninjas . Though still don't know what they are actually made of - though neither did the a& e Dr who spent an hour thumbing through medical books . Do know however that they are probably best not to be eaten.

There's approx 300 purple Calpol syringes in my cutlery drawer....

I need to know who these people are.

Spending two days in nervous anticipation after a job interview on Tuesday.

Whenever I want my hair straighteners, my mascara or my denim jacket (etc), I can guarantee they're in the only room in my house that I'm also forbidden from entering! 😁

Sat down to go on laptop to browse MN and had to remove a pile of paper dragon puppets, the current obsession. Along with bits of cut card, glue, scissors etc. Also nearly fell over a helmet at the bottom of the stairs when hauling laundry up earlier. My brain is permanently split in 4, where are each of the 3 kids and what they might need and then me. I feel like Voldermort sometimes.

I've got a paw patrol plaster on my cut finger.

I tried to grab a colleagues hand so they could safely cross the road.

I can't stand with a trolley without automatically pushing it backwards and forwards 🙈

I do at least one load of washing every day.

To be fair that could be something you say to your 5 year old son or your adult husband 😂😂😂

My children are all grown up now but I cleared my handbag out when they were toddlers & found a newborn nappy in there 😂😂😂. A clean one I hasten to add