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Original poster

Tell me you're a parent without telling me you're a parent

252 replies

Peachpicklepie · 15/09/2023 11:52

I'll go first. I've just put a piece of half eaten peanut butter toast on the roof of my car and driven off.
Your turn.

OP posts:
spitefulandbadgrammar · 15/09/2023 12:31

My house is filled with special sticks. And special gravel. And special leaves.

FrillyGoatFluff · 15/09/2023 12:31

I start a new job on Monday and have spent a disproportionate amount of time fantasising about how quiet my solo commute is going to be.

disappearingfish · 15/09/2023 12:34

I spend 40% of my take home pay for the person I love most in the world to be out of the house from 8.30 to 4pm Monday to Friday, for 39 weeks of the year.

Farmhouse1234 · 15/09/2023 12:37

The dentist / smear test is a wonderful relaxing way to spend time.

MinnieTruck · 15/09/2023 12:37

Whereland · 15/09/2023 12:19

I was driving this morning and said "oh look! A crane!" Before remembering I was alone in the car

🤣🤣🤣 love this

UnravellingTheWorld · 15/09/2023 12:37

Tractors and buses are banned from our kitchen

MinnieTruck · 15/09/2023 12:39

I have crumbs in my bed, in my towels and even my hairbrush🙂

NCgoingdry · 15/09/2023 12:39

Precisely 176399571768495826638946 words were said in the kitchen before 6am.

Bloom15 · 15/09/2023 12:41

I have a pet rock to take care of while his owner is in school. I have been given care instructions

GrinAndVomit · 15/09/2023 12:42

I haven’t had a poo in complete solitude and privacy this week.

Shishandphips · 15/09/2023 12:42

I know moana off by heart. Not just the songs, the whole thing.

Luhou · 15/09/2023 12:46

Been up since 6am but still running late for a 9.30 playdate.

Percypiglover · 15/09/2023 12:46

I have adopted a no swimming hats at the table rule

D3LAN3Y · 15/09/2023 12:51

About to put my fleece in the washer and on emptying my pockets I've found a block of lego, a small car and an interesting rock from mine and DS walk that I was keeping safe. 😌 His pockets are full of interesting treasures...

hdbs17 · 15/09/2023 12:51

Pissed on, shat on and puked on - in one day.

Seriously79 · 15/09/2023 12:52

I know all the words to the songs on cocomelon 🤯

HouseHassle · 15/09/2023 12:52

Sitting alone in the car on the driveway for 5 minutes staring into the middle distance after returning home is considered "self care"

WeightoftheWorld · 15/09/2023 12:56

I'm not even 30 but grey as anything already (and it does not run in my family at all, they're all dismayed!!)!

Silkiebunny · 15/09/2023 13:03

The toilet roll goes 1 metre down from the holder and we don't have an Andrex puppy.

5 Vinted deliveries arrive each day and the contents of 1 room are like the world's largest floordrobe.

movedonfromsmithy · 15/09/2023 13:03

Have anxiety 24/7!

rbmilliner · 15/09/2023 13:04

I've lost the ability to cook anything other than beige food.

WhatDoWeDoIfAnything · 15/09/2023 13:05

I say “time to go, sweetie” when I live the house. Alone. For work.

frecklejuice · 15/09/2023 13:06

I'm constantly driving but not actually going to anywhere I need to want to be!!

SomersetBrie · 15/09/2023 13:06

I quite often ask my work colleagues if they "need a wee" before we head to a meeting.

AussieManque · 15/09/2023 13:06

@Sosbanfachtheresatellyinmybath @Whereland I get excited when I see a digger! Or a bulldozer or cement truck.

I can recite Goodnight Moon and There's a Wocket in my Pocket off the cuff