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Original poster

Tell me you're a parent without telling me you're a parent

252 replies

Peachpicklepie · 15/09/2023 11:52

I'll go first. I've just put a piece of half eaten peanut butter toast on the roof of my car and driven off.
Your turn.

OP posts:
IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 15/09/2023 14:49

OdeToBarney · 15/09/2023 14:35

We found makka pakka at the beach last night. Lots of piles of stones. My DD was so delighted she vomited on herself 🤦‍♀️

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We're going to the beach next week. Our mini makka pakka may have to be hidden in a pocket in case we find his stone piles....

OdeToBarney · 15/09/2023 14:51

Good shout @IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos We only had mini Iggle Piggle and Upsy Daisy with us unfortunately.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 15/09/2023 14:52

Phos · 15/09/2023 14:39

I thought we were cleverly avoiding her until the Friday evening I picked her up from nursery during their Friday after tea DVD time and they were watching it there. Explains why there had been squeals of "PIG!" every time we passed some merchandise in the supermarket.

Show quote history

I know its coming from somewhere. It just won't be from our TV if I can help it. I remember the day we found there was a Nickelodeon Peppa Pig channel for a bit. Which happened to be a weekend our nephew was staying with us. Its over a decade ago and I still get flashbacks 🙈

HelterSkelter224 · 15/09/2023 15:01

Snots on my shoulder

Phos · 15/09/2023 15:01

Last Friday my housemate asked if she could borrow this lipstick. It was an old one I don't really use so I said yes, assuming she was giving herself some sort of ham fisted makeover.

10 minutes later she came back into the room with what I can only describe as something akin to blackface (sorry) only it was red. She had painted her entire face with it. It took at least 8 make up remover wipes to get most of it off and it was still in her hair.

HelterSkelter224 · 15/09/2023 15:01

Harrriet · 15/09/2023 12:11

The first thing I said this morning was....
Get your willy off the table

And that was just to your husband

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/09/2023 15:04

Call me MOLD. Unpaid taxi driver MOLD.

Most embarrassing person on the planet.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 15/09/2023 15:06

Coconuts. Have. Water. In. Them.

LittleGreenDuck · 15/09/2023 15:06

Cheesymonster · 15/09/2023 13:49

When In a queue I rock gently from side to side even though I haven’t had a baby on my hip for ten years.

When preparing to leave somewhere, I ask the people I’m with if they’ve had a wee - whether it’s my child, my husband, a work colleague…

I love cheese strings.

I found myself in the supermarket gently pushing the trolley to and fro. Presumably I was trying to get the broccoli off for a nap Hmm

BriocheForBreakfast · 15/09/2023 15:06

I shout 'train!' whenever I see one

Prepgrw · 15/09/2023 15:06

Still rowing the boat even though I’ve never been on one

‘willy on table’ is the one that’s going to get me laughing in the supermarket at some random time though!

LaDamaDeElche · 15/09/2023 15:08

If I open a bottle of wine I always finish it 🍷

dramallamadingdongdo · 15/09/2023 15:10

I call spaghetti hoops "sketti hoops"

butterpuffed · 15/09/2023 15:11

I hide chocolate .

I usually come downstairs on my bum as carrying too much crap to navigate properly .

DameEdna1 · 15/09/2023 15:14

I waved enthusiastically at a police car this morning, then realised I had no small child with me.

Thatsmorethanhalf · 15/09/2023 15:22

I say Fish Fingers instead of the other F expletive, even in adult company

CharlotteBog · 15/09/2023 15:23

Phos · 15/09/2023 15:01

Last Friday my housemate asked if she could borrow this lipstick. It was an old one I don't really use so I said yes, assuming she was giving herself some sort of ham fisted makeover.

10 minutes later she came back into the room with what I can only describe as something akin to blackface (sorry) only it was red. She had painted her entire face with it. It took at least 8 make up remover wipes to get most of it off and it was still in her hair.

eh?
Isn't your housemate an adult?

CharlotteBog · 15/09/2023 15:26

The hoover contains a few thousand brace elastics.
One of those sticky aliens that are meant to creep down the wall has been stuck on the stair well ceiling for 3 years.

BeanyBops · 15/09/2023 15:31

Husband and I drove 10 hours total to and from Norfolk for a funeral - thrilled for the 'quality time' together.

I can provide a snack any time any place, but it's probably dull as shit - raisins or breadsticks.

Regularly call helmets 'helment' in conversation with other human adults I. E. 'nice helment'. Forget that it's weird.

Tdcp · 15/09/2023 15:32

I've had a pebble in my purse for about 6 months and I don't know why but the second I take it out I just know I'll regret it 😂

Rhombus79 · 15/09/2023 15:34

I measure time in number of Paw Patrol episodes. How long til we get there? 2 Paw Patrols

OneMoreCookieMonster · 15/09/2023 15:46

The sad sacks that use to be (nice) boobs.

tb4122 · 15/09/2023 15:46

I can recite The Gruffalo, as can DH. Last week in the car we assigned different parts to each other and acted out the whole thing with voices. About halfway through we became aware DS had fallen asleep.... didn't stop us continuing to the end.

CharlotteBog · 15/09/2023 15:49

At this time of year you find yourself bursting into Cauliflowers Fluffy or Harvest Calypso as you go about day.

My youngest left Primary school 4 years ago.....

sleepymama3 · 15/09/2023 15:56

I gently rock myself back and forth when standing still.

Somebody follows me around the house, systematically undoing my tidying.