Tell me you're a parent without telling me you're a parent

[Peachpicklepie]

I'll go first. I've just put a piece of half eaten peanut butter toast on the roof of my car and driven off.
Your turn.

There's a small plastic dinosaur in my handbag

I'm skint and tired lol

Makka pakka akka wakka mikka makka moo! Makka pakka appa yakka ikka akka oo!

I'm the filling of a generational sandwich 🙂

This, and I haven't bought myself any new underwear in years.

There are 9 grasshoppers living in an old butterfly container in my kitchen.

The first thing I said this morning was....
Get your willy off the table

😆

I always have wet wipes and plasters in my handbag.

I haven't had a day free from worry in 34 years.

I love a business trip with a stay in a hotel.

Get those pants off the living room floor

Who left this empty packet here

<everlasting shrieks of Youtubers echoing in my ears>

I stock food in my pantry that I don't eat.

This is brilliant 😂

Mine too! I pulled my purse out and her frozen fork and peppa pig keys fell out my bag too

I have snot all over my back

I was driving this morning and said "oh look! A crane!" Before remembering I was alone in the car

The scars on my perineum.

I'm really good at catching sick in my hands

I usually shout 'tractor'!
I done it one day and the farmer was laughing at me because I was on my own 🤣

Got in to bed and rolled over on to three trains, a half eaten biscuit and a tractor 🚜

My specialist subject on Mastermind would be Disney films circa 2000- 2008

I always have tissues in my pocket

My housemate demanded a banana for breakfast this morning then looked me in the eye, smooshed the banana in her hands and threw the banana smoosh on the floor.

Currently hiding in the utility room eating a bar of chocolate cos I don't want to share with my toddler