Tell me you're a parent without telling me you're a parent

[Peachpicklepie]

I'll go first. I've just put a piece of half eaten peanut butter toast on the roof of my car and driven off.
Your turn.

I have "are you good at remembering?" stuck in my head and eat chocolate biscuits hiding behind the kitchen door.

I have found myself saying 'stop hitting <name> with a lightsaber'. More than once.

I opened the little zip bag (at work) that I use to keep tampons in my handbag discreetly and it was full of small diggers. No tampons. Disaster. Mystified as to when this switch happened or what he's done with the tampons

Everything I touch in my house feels sticky.

I have stones in my handbag. I'm not allowed to throw them away because they are "really special to me, Mummy".

Explaining to miniature housemate that tampons are not rockets, and no, you cannot fire them into (any sort of space)

I’ve not seen the bottom of the laundry basket for 7 years

I thought just I did that. Just a few moments of peace to myself.

I’m a volunteer taxi driver (as in I don’t get paid) #mumofteens

I found a hard boiled egg I was going to give my toddler this morning in my pocket this afternoon.
Cue my older two asking me in a shop "why have you got an egg in your coat pocket"

@Whereland and @Sosbanfachtheresatellyinmybath mine is usually a PLANE see you in Spain 🤣

I am sat holding my breath and not daring to move because a small person is picking at a bowl of (plain) rice instead of the usual nightly meal of cheesy pasta or potato waffles

LOL no I was referring to my 6 year old as my housemate. It was a joke.

I remember sitting in a shitty smelling toilet in m&s thinking it was a holiday as it was a few minutes of peace and quiet. And then realising it was a shitty toilet.

I have yoghurt in my eyebrows.

My tumble dryer is currently squealing due to yet another stone being trapped inside it.

I’m counting down to when we get the funded hours and fantasising about what I’m going to spend the money on.

We use Bluey swears.

Same. I also genuinely marvel at how talented and charismatic Angelo and Natalie are, and wish they were featured way more often! Ah, my life, and what it has become...😁

I usually sway from side to side rather than standing still. 4pm is time to start dinner

Is that chocolate or poo?

Hahaha

I also do the emergency braking arm flung across front passenger to save them. Youngest did it to me recently, I was extremely touched and proud

One day waiting at the pedestrian crossing with (late) DM - when the green man started flashing she held her hand out for me to take it as we crossed the road.

I was 50.

(In retrospect I wondered if that was some sort of comment on my road crossing skills, but decided in the end that mums are always mums whatever the age of the kids).

The back seat of my car is a tip.

I have a fold-out baby bed in my office at work. Completely forget it's there and then colleagues comment when they enter for the first time.

I walk around with a slightly pained look on my face all the time.