Tell me you're a parent without telling me you're a parent

[Peachpicklepie]

I'll go first. I've just put a piece of half eaten peanut butter toast on the roof of my car and driven off.
Your turn.

I cut my finger and I'm now wearing a unicorn plaster

Lego. Just so much Lego. Everywhere.

Also Cheerios. Also everywhere.

Nightly in the night garden ritual featuring a makka pakka dance which is much like the New Zealand haka

I've got a large L.O.L. surprise plaster proudly on my knee.

I've put on some washing this morning.
It contains a shark, a chicken, a snake and some socks with the days of the week on them.

My everyday knickers are mahoosive black ones I wore in my 2nd pregnancy 6 years ago. I feel embarrassed hanging them on the washing line!
I pick up so many odd socks, hairclips, toy and 'artwork' every day that I have a general don't know what to do with 'crap basket' at the bottom of the stairs.

All that anyone ever talks to me about is Prime.
I’ve got a Peppa pig stuck to my car floor by way of Maoam

I can't stand football and feel the cold badly yet I've just got in after watching a football match since 10am without my coat on.

I have a collection of rocks on my bookshelf and a stick collection outside my front door.

Do you live at my house?

@ShutTheDoorBabe 😆😬 I love that they love nature. Be nice if more of it stayed outside though 😁

I’ve only done 5 loads of washing this weekend and am overjoyed.
I have zero reaction to bodily fluids anymore.
I haven’t slept a full night in over 6 years.
I can rarely walk across my living room floor outside of school hours without swearing because I’ve stood on something that definitely doesn’t need to be there.
I shout ‘do you need a wee?’ far too often.
I’m sure there’s more but I can’t remember due to the aforementioned lack of sleep

@Phos They are all part of the Ms. Rachel universe! She makes very popular videos for babies/toddlers on YouTube.

We have pet stones. Lots of them and they have to live in the house.

Someone in my house gets really excited to see my boobs and it is not my husband.

Did I write this?

I miss those days...

Things I've said today:

"Wipe your own bum, you're eight!"
"Why are your dirty socks on the mantlepiece?"

I think I've muttered "FFS" under my breath every minute for the last 12 hours.

In a nightclub the song most likely to make me take to the dance floor with gusto would be The Stick Song.

Haven't closed bathroom door in years in my own home to pee in peace

I'm very good at minecraft

This really made me laugh. It's a banger!

My own contribution:
Everything anyone could ever need is in My car.
Plasters? Check. Snacks? Check. (Questionable snacks.. but check) spare jumper? Check.

Oh and apples. Apples everywhere

My spare time is spent going to play parks, soft play and making models out of cardboard boxes and toilet rolls.
I have to scrutinise my carpets for tiny items before hoovering.
My DH thinks it hilarious to make bacon sandwiches and watch Peppa Pig, younger family members do not make the connection.

My lunch was someone else's crusts

@Sosbanfachtheresatellyinmybath

did this and then realised I was on a coach with a bunch of 16-18 year olds 😂😂