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Original poster

Tell me you're a parent without telling me you're a parent

252 replies

Peachpicklepie · 15/09/2023 11:52

I'll go first. I've just put a piece of half eaten peanut butter toast on the roof of my car and driven off.
Your turn.

OP posts:
Bigbonesmeatandgravy · 15/09/2023 13:07

I can't sleep without white noise

DorotheaFrazil · 15/09/2023 13:07

My favourite phrase is'What time would you like me to collect you?'

marymungoNminge · 15/09/2023 13:08

Toddlers toilet seat on the loo.
The bags under my eyes.
Constant hair bobbles everywhere.
Little shoes on the shoe rack.
Paintings on the fridge.
Constant hum of wheels on the bus.
Toddlers toothpaste next to the Colgate.

Wouldn't have it any other way 🥰

SoGladofYou · 15/09/2023 13:08

I will stand in front of a train for you

ivfbabymomma1 · 15/09/2023 13:10

I see blippi more than I see my husband

SomethingNastyInTheBallPool · 15/09/2023 13:10

@AussieManque i have been reciting Goodnight Moon and Hippos Go Berserk every night for nine years and counting…

user76541055773 · 15/09/2023 13:11

My Lego is sticky

TheFormidableMrsC · 15/09/2023 13:14

If you can't aim straight then sit down please.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 15/09/2023 13:14

Kucinghitam · 15/09/2023 12:00

Makka pakka akka wakka mikka makka moo! Makka pakka appa yakka ikka akka oo!

Hum dum aga pan.....

TheFormidableMrsC · 15/09/2023 13:15

Whereland · 15/09/2023 12:19

I was driving this morning and said "oh look! A crane!" Before remembering I was alone in the car

This made me laugh. My adult daughter shouted "FLASHING LIGHTS" to me when a police car passed, forgetting her little brother was not in the car 🤣

Sux2buthen · 15/09/2023 13:16

I cut up my partners grapes the other night 😂

Eileen101 · 15/09/2023 13:16

I have to tell someone that we don't lick people most days.
Ditto putting slippers in the toilet.

I frequently catch myself before asking actual real life people to use their manners and magic words.

When people in my car are having a strop I end up desperately looking for things to distract - cranes/buses/tractors etc.

ColleenDonaghy · 15/09/2023 13:19

Sux2buthen · 15/09/2023 13:16

I cut up my partners grapes the other night 😂

I corrected mine for not saying thank you when I handed him a cup of tea.

Mine:

My housemates were shocked and appalled this morning to discover that they did in fact have to go to the toilet, brush their teeth and get dressed. In the morning. Apparently this is news to them.

It was news to them yesterday as well.

Solasum · 15/09/2023 13:19

Every holiday period involves consulting multiple calendars.

I hide chocolate and snacks in secret places and while telling others it is not a healthy choice to eat sweets/biscuits/chocolate every day

TheShinmeister · 15/09/2023 13:20

peachypudding · 15/09/2023 12:14

I haven't had a day free from worry in 34 years.

Snap! Nearly 35

GloomySkies · 15/09/2023 13:22

I spend hundreds of pounds a year on shoes and yet I am still exclusively wearing summer sandals and winter boots from 2017.

Joeylove88 · 15/09/2023 13:33

Let's go to the farm, with Tractor Ted beep beep, beep beep

APurpleSquirrel · 15/09/2023 13:34

I'm currently cutting out tiny paper wings & sticking them to the top of Ferrero Roche for a party next week - & I'm not going to get to eat any of them!

Scalottia · 15/09/2023 13:36

TheShinmeister · 15/09/2023 13:20

Snap! Nearly 35

Show quote history

This sounds horrible.

TheInterceptor · 15/09/2023 13:37

My 'clean on this morning' top is currently hosting seven different stains.

Oh, and I'm attempting to drink my third cup of lukewarm tea.

Callmesleepy · 15/09/2023 13:38

I have snot on my trousers.

Original poster
Peachpicklepie · 15/09/2023 13:38

I can be in a lay by and have a travel potty positioned on the side of the road in approximately 3.4 seconds

OP posts:
SnapOutOfIt1 · 15/09/2023 13:38

I went to bed alone last night and woke up this morning with 2 people beside me

alongtimeagoandfaraway · 15/09/2023 13:39

I sold on my tickets for a much looked forward to art exhibition (which had been hard to obtain and the exhibition was closing that day so no chance to go later) because an occasional visitor to my home had come back from holiday and was unwell.

Spareincoming · 15/09/2023 13:40

People are now allowed to eat in my car.
My car has rear seat protector cover thingys.
I exclaim “My goodness!” where previously a decent bank of swear words would have come into play.

@Joeylove88 I am in the same club… Tractor Ted is asleep in his shed… 6 or 7 years in, probably 5 to go before I can surrender my membership. I suspect the manufacturer of dvd players will go bust when we leave the Tractor Ted phase for the final time.