Funniest lines from a sitcom

[Kingsleadhat]

Could do with a laugh at the moment, so I'm wondering what are people's favourite funny lines from a sitcom or film? Mine is from Victoria Wood's Dinnerladies : "Tony Blair. Stick two poems up in a bus shelter and call it a university! ". Cracks me up every time

Ab Fab - when they keep going on about Gabon. Ga BON. Ga BON. Oh man, it’s just the intonation I love.

There was a coup in Gabon over the weekend and I’m really sorry but even thinking about it made me start laughing.

Favourite ever line was in Frasier, was something along the lines of ' My brother's abroad.'
'Oh that must've been painful'.

It's not exactly a quote - but the scene from Blackadder where he is being tortured by the Spanish Inquisition - he speaks no Spanish and the torturer speaks no English, so they are forced to rely on a series of mimes:

Blackadder: So, let's recap. If I admit that I am in love - sorry, head over heels in love with Satan and all his little wizards, then you will remove my testicles with a blunt instrument resembling - some sort of gardening tool - and roast them over a large fire. Whereas if I do not admit that I am in love with Satan and all his little wizards, you will hold me upside down in a vat of warm marmalade .... aaand remove my testicles with a blunt ... oh, I see.

The IT crowd scene: the Iran/a man confusion. Brilliant stuff but unfortunately wouldn't be allowed now.

It certainly has been very far reaching to this day. Glinner was recognised as the comedy genius that he is, but that was the tipping point when the attacks against him began.

His work - as with most comedy - has sometimes covered themes which might touch a bit of a raw nerve with people for various reasons, but the majority of those people have been able to be mature enough to agree to differ, without seeking to destroy the man, his career and livelihood.

We saw an episode of The Simpsons on Channel 4 the other day, where an economically-struggling Springfield voted to bring in gay marriage so that everybody could cash in on the demand. Funny as it was, there were a lot of things that simply wouldn't wash today; but you watch things like this with an appreciation of the time - just like you wouldn't watch a Dickens adaptation and bewilderedly bluster "But we don't have workhouses for orphans now?!"

Ghosts had a similar on the edge line - “Julian fingering, Fanny’s lips…”

Not a comedy show, but if anyone remembers Preacher from a few years back, there’s a bit where Hitler has escaped from Hell and is working in a coffee shop and has a hand note plan drawn up for reinstating the 3rd Reich, with “Mike from Radio Rentals as SS Grupenfuhrer” which for some reason just killed me.

IT crowd.

"Fredo was a pimp wasn't he Moss?"

"Nooooo! He took the ring to Mordor"

The thick of it when Glenn resigns and tells everyone what he thinks of them.

"You're just a generic posh bitch"

"And you two, I hate you both, tweedle-twat and tweedle-prick"

Ending with "fuck you, and you, fuck you all up the wrong'un, ta-ta, byeeeeee"

And Terri trying to de-escalate the situation "Glenn, I think you've gone a little bit psychotic my love"

That was a fantastic scene as it was so true to life, drunk Denise having a tearful rant she won't remember in the morning.

And about the same culprit Beverly Macca in another scene when Denise is talking about her in an unflattering way and Barbara says "oh but Denise, she's had it hard" and Denise says "she likes it hard, that's her problem"

Father Jack in Father Ted
”feck, arse, drink”

Glenn describing a panicking Nicola as a “squirrel in a pedal bin” 😂

Frasier - How can we use sex to get what we want?! Sex IS what we want!

Huh? I don't get that

It was snarking on the Blair government.

Oh yes this is the best line from a sitcom ever. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

The character who said it was a snooty Tory type. It was taking a snobbish pop at how polytechnics were all getting university status and also implying that Blair was all about half arsed gestures

Faulty Towers Manuel" No no no is Siberian hamster"

The Young Ones, Suggs on being asked by Rik if he knows Cliff Richards Summer Holiday " You hum it, I'll smash your face in."

Hacker: Don't tell me about the press. I know exactly who reads the papers. The Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country; The Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country; The Times is read by the people who actually do run the country; the Daily Telegraph is read by the wives of the people who run the country; the Financial Times is read by people who own the country; the Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country, and the Daily Mail is read by people who think it is.
Sir Humphrey: Prime Minister, what about the people who read The Sun?
Bernard: Sun readers don't care who runs the country, as long as she's got big tits.

Hilarious! I also hear it in his voice when I read it

trigger to Mike: if the baby’s a girl they’re going to name her sigourney, after some actress. And if it’s a boy, they’re going to name him Rodney, after Dave

Brassic (hilarious) new season starts this week - woohoo!

Cardie says "I've just made the woman I love, shit her pants!" Brilliant.

Fawlty Towers with the ‘on those trays’ vs ‘uno dos tres’

Dinnerladies, when Awful Christine has awful farts:

Bren: Might be nerves!
Twinkle: Might be mushy peas…

I love that programme - Victoria Wood was a genius 😊

Join me next week on "let's make no fucking sense" when I will be waxing an owl. Green Wing. Causes me to snort sometimes just remembering it.
And all of Cabin Pressure.

An old one -Frank Spencer. "We stayed in a hotel like this with my mother. There was an accident, it wasn't her fault. We had to stay up all night flushing the mattress down the toilet"

Another Frasier one. Niles is trying to summon the courage to ask out Mel the plastic surgeon but he keeps losing his nerve and having cosmetic procedures instead.
Frasier: Isn't it time you just asked the woman out?
Niles: Frasier, I'm just waiting until the moment's right.
Frasier: Like you did with Daphne? ... Oh, Niles, I am sorry. But I'd like to see you do this while I can still pick you out of a crowd.