Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Funniest lines from a sitcom

463 replies

Kingsleadhat · 03/09/2023 14:44

Could do with a laugh at the moment, so I'm wondering what are people's favourite funny lines from a sitcom or film? Mine is from Victoria Wood's Dinnerladies : "Tony Blair. Stick two poems up in a bus shelter and call it a university! ". Cracks me up every time

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Heyhoherewegoagain · 03/09/2023 14:46

Not a line, but a scene…Fools and Horses., DelBoy leaning on the bar in the posh wine bar….except the bar wasn’t there 🤣🤣🤣

lookatgiraffenow · 03/09/2023 14:53

Pretty much all of the lines that come out of Christine's mouth in Two Doors Down. The script is fantastic and Elaine C Smith's portrayal is so clever and spot-on!!

mrwalkensir · 03/09/2023 16:35

Reginald Perrin telling somebody that his creased suit was made of "crumpolene".

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

TV
Clawdy · 03/09/2023 17:22

"Pretentious? Moi? " Fawlty Towers.

notprincehamlet · 03/09/2023 17:40

Pretty much all of Frasier but I'll go with: I remember the first time I held my son in my arms. The entire universe just melted away and it was just father and son. And Lilith in the background saying, "Frasier, if you ever come near me again, I'll drop you with a deer rifle".

Original poster
Kingsleadhat · 03/09/2023 18:01

Frasier had some fantastic lines. The one about outfitting the dog with a megaphone when he was wearing a cone ..😂

OP posts:
devildeepbluesea · 03/09/2023 18:02

Yes Minister, describing how various papers view a new PM. Can’t remember the whole conversation but the end was:

Hacker: What about the Sun?

Bernard: The Sun doesn’t care who’s PM as long as she’s got big tits 🤣🤣

brassbells · 03/09/2023 18:05

The ooo ahhh bird is so called because it lays square eggs 😁😁😁😁😁

"THE GOOD LIFE' CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

Imnotswallowingthat · 03/09/2023 18:06

Bus wankers !

NegativNancy · 03/09/2023 18:08

Jamie: [pretending to interview Ben Swain] Immigration is in disarray. Now, what are you going to do about it?
Ben: Well, first of all I would have to take issue with your contention that immigration is in disarray...
Jamie: Oh, answer the question, you fat fuck!

You kind of had to have seen it to appreciate it...

Jewelanemone · 03/09/2023 18:09

Frasier has the best lines - my favourite episode is Out With Dad where Marty has to pretend to be gay.

Best line - Roz's current boyfriend's parents visit Frasier's apartment, and they have huge noses. Dinner is cooking; the father sniffs and says 'Mmm, what's that I can smell?'. Marty, in his recliner, mutters 'Japan, probably.'

Marty - We call him Eddie Spaghetti
Daphne - Oh, does he like pasta?
Marty - No, he has worms

muddyford · 03/09/2023 18:09

"Don't tell him, Pike!" From Dad's Army , when a captured U-boat commander asks his name after Pike had sung a rhyme about Hitler.

tenbob · 03/09/2023 18:09

“It bodes well that speed impresses you”
Chandler to Monica when they are getting undressed for their first time in bed together, and she says he got his clothes of fast

muddyford · 03/09/2023 18:10

Heyhoherewegoagain · 03/09/2023 14:46

Not a line, but a scene…Fools and Horses., DelBoy leaning on the bar in the posh wine bar….except the bar wasn’t there 🤣🤣🤣

And the way Trigger looked around for him.

MrsMous · 03/09/2023 18:11

Anything by Alan partridge but especially “just sack Pat!”

SecretVictoria · 03/09/2023 18:11

dinnerladies: “Answer me one question love. Where’s my Clint?”

Man About the House: George (showing his wedding pictures to Chrissy): “Of course, I was in uniform then.”

Chrissy: “Yes, how long were you a bus conductor?”

Also Man About the House:

Chrissy (to Mildred): “Where did you go for your honeymoon?”

Mildred: “Would you believe it, Dunkirk? He’s been on the retreat ever since!”

Imnotswallowingthat · 03/09/2023 18:11

The scene in Father Ted where he and Dougal are trapped in the lingerie department is superb.

faw2009 · 03/09/2023 18:11

The chandelier scene in Only Fools and Horses too!

Robotalkingrubbish · 03/09/2023 18:13

Only Fools and Horses again, this still makes me laugh

Trigger claims that he's had his road sweeper's broom for 20 years. But then he adds that the broom has had 17 new heads and 14 new handles.

"How can it be the same bloody broom then?" asks Sid the café owner. Trigger produces a picture of him and his broom and asks: "what more proof do you need?"

Crikeyalmighty · 03/09/2023 18:13

From minder when someone is interrupting Arthur Daley without being asked and he says 'who threw you a biscuit'

Fifthtimelucky · 03/09/2023 18:14

Something that still makes me laugh out loud, even though I've seen it more than once, is Hugo and Alice's wedding in The Vicar of Dibley.

The vicar asks if anyone knows of any just cause or impediment to the marriage and a woman from the back calls out dramatically that the wedding cannot go ahead because the groom is already married to her and she waves her marriage certificate.

Hugo and Alice turn round confused and the woman says "oh sorry, wrong church".

Maireas · 03/09/2023 18:15

lookatgiraffenow · 03/09/2023 14:53

Pretty much all of the lines that come out of Christine's mouth in Two Doors Down. The script is fantastic and Elaine C Smith's portrayal is so clever and spot-on!!

Oh, she's brilliant. Sadly Pat Over The Back is no longer with us.

Pugdogmom · 03/09/2023 18:15

lookatgiraffenow · 03/09/2023 14:53

Pretty much all of the lines that come out of Christine's mouth in Two Doors Down. The script is fantastic and Elaine C Smith's portrayal is so clever and spot-on!!

Totally agree! She is hilarious 😂

Maireas · 03/09/2023 18:16

Mrs Doyle trying to guess the fake priest's name.
Any scene with nuns. (Fr Ted).

TheHorneSection · 03/09/2023 18:19

Frasier - “How can we use sex to get what we want? Sex IS what we want!”

Also, the best delivered line I have ever seen, the French ski instructor Guy in Frasier and his, “Really?” when he thinks Niles has implied he’s gay.

The Thick of It doesn’t always translate written down by my favourite ever line in a sitcom is Peter Mannion at the away day playing 20 Questions - “Am I supply side economics?”