Funniest lines from a sitcom

[Kingsleadhat]

Could do with a laugh at the moment, so I'm wondering what are people's favourite funny lines from a sitcom or film? Mine is from Victoria Wood's Dinnerladies : "Tony Blair. Stick two poems up in a bus shelter and call it a university! ". Cracks me up every time

Most stuff from Phoenix Nights cracks me up.

There's an absolute classic from Trigger in OFAH where he walked into a Mind Your Head sign at school
"Didn't you see it?"
"Of course I saw it, but in those days I couldn't read."

😂

Oh yes. But my favourite quote is from Martin when Frasier airs his love-life on the radio "sex I'd between you and the person you're doing in too".

Peep Show when Mark says he wants to break up with his girlfriend someone nice, with flowers, music, sedatives and medical assistance.

Jeremy: Right. And where are you planning to find this magical musical break up hospital?

Either old Tommy's Jamie Oliver rant or when he gets a job and moans about the buggers he works with.

Brilliant

From Parks And Rec

"I've looked up your symptoms and it says you might have network connectivity problems"

Pretty much anything from Black Books, The I.T. Crowd, Blackadder, Motherland, Sex and the City and Red Dwarf.

Red Dwarf:
Kryton: Didn't Jean Paul Sartre say that 'hell is other people?'
Lister: Yeah, but all of his mates were French.

OMG so funny 🤣

More Frasier here

Helllloooooooo Mariss. (Wheb Niles has found out the family secret that they are not old money)

Also Niles when practicing dancing with Daphne.
"This is borring yet difficult"

And Vicar of Dipley
Geraldine: I'm sorry about Noahs arch (stained window)
Owen: Don't be in my opinion Noah was a complete prick. There was the perfect chance to get rid of all the useless animals in the world... nits, Lice, ticks and what does he doe? He takes all of then!

That NEVER ceases to have me crying with laughter.

Jim Royale “I paid £1 for these pants and I’ve got 50p stuck up my arse”.

Ross: I went to that tanning place your wife recommended.
Chandler: Was that place the Sun?

I haven't watched the series but that really made me laugh.

Actually love all of the “Roz and the Shnozz” episode (and most of Fraiser….hope the reboot is as good) but favourite lines from an earlier episode are Fraiser and Niles sitting in Cafe Nervosa arguing.
Fraiser - “ I can read your mind, Niles”
Niles- after a second - “ Then I’m sorry you had to hear that”
Niles always got the best lines!

Frasier again.

Niles is doing origami at the table, and Daphne starts talking about fancying tough men.

"Was that a little swan you were making, Dr. Crane?"

"No, it was a B52"

--

In the same sort of way, in The Simpsons. Sideshow Bob's brother Cecil is in an episode, voiced by David Hyde Pierce (Kelsey Grammar being Bob). Bart jumps on Cecil's back, shouting "guess who?!"

Cecil: Maris?!

Mine is Frasier as well “are we forgetting that not 12 hours ago I was punched in the face by a man now dead” gets me every time 😂

Frasier: Oh Niles, please!! When did you ever have an unexpressed thought?
Niles: I'm having one right now.

Frasier, struggling to adapt to having Martin move in with him and complaining to Niles: "The other day I asked him to pass me something and he said, '"What's the magic word?' I told him, "care home."

Favourite line is OFAH.

Grandad is listening a chandelier from above a room in the loft.

Once loosened he says "are you ready"

They are and Delboy and Rodney are waiting up ladders with a large sheet to catch it.

It crashes to the floor.

Grandad comes down. Conversation ensues about the chandeliers and the one crashed to the floor and grandad says

"Well I wish you would have said something - I was working on this one" and points to the smashed chandelier.

You have to watch it. It's how the line is delivered alongside the timing!

I thought Niles was the best one in it, although Frasier Marty and Roz were also terrific and Bulldog was just brilliant

Also Noel Shemsky teaching Frasier Klingon instead of Hebrew for his son's Bar Mitzvah blessing. That whole episode is brilliant.

Totally agree. I love her character. She reminds me of about 3 family members of mine all.mixed into 1

Derry Girls:
[[https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0862916/?ref_=tt_ch
Gerry Quinn]]n* : What are you planning to do with that surfboard, Joe?
Joe McCooll* : Surf. Something i always fancied doing, ever since i saw that film, the one where the lads try to catch that big fish.
Gerry Quinnn* : What film is that?
Joe McCooll* : You know the big fish, the musical fish.
Gerry Quinnn* : The musical fish?
Joe McCooll* : He hums a tune before he attacks people. They try to catch him, but their boats too wee.
Gerry Quinnn* : Are you talking about Jaws?
Joe McCooll* : That's the one.

Mum:
Reg: have you seen this? It hasn't been tested on animals. It's not been tested on animals but they expect me to rub it all over my skin. You think they'd put a bit on a monkey

So much funny stuff here. I love Father Ted, Alan Partridge, Frasier, Fawlty Towers etc.

Here's an old classic from Victoria Wood's character Kitty.

I speak as I find so I said 'what's that terrible smell?' She said 'it's Ma Griffe' so I said, 'well it wants washing'.

Frasier, who has been trying to sleep during the day after the new station manager gives him the night slot show and Niles accidentally lets off a starting pistol in a bid to look manly to Daphne: "Oh, I'm sorry, was I snippy?" I don't expect to hear GUN PLAY in my living room!"

Father Ted: 'I'm not a fascist!! Fascists dress in black and tell people what to do ......oh....'