I have written about our situation a good few times under this name and a couple of others so you may recognise some stuff.
Anyway DS has got much better with his aggression and violence. Things are not as bad as they were although still beyond normal teenage stuff. So I'm still not really able to do stuff in the average parenting way when it comes to behaviour especially when it's linked to a siblings it's really hard.
So i was looking for suggestions in the following situation.
So ds 16 might say to dd13. You smell like dog shit. You look a rottweiler. And dd13 can sometimes have a deep come back and say . At least I'm not a nasty shit to everyone like you are . That then cuts him deep and he then aggressively gets on to me about dd behaviour and I should do something to sort it. Even though he started the cussing in the first place.
Another example is he can have music on really loud. The moment DD puts her music on. He's onto me about how loud it is and he thinks her music is shit. He then gets really nasty towards her and me.
I'm just not sure how to handle it without it Turing into something it does not need to be.
The situation since I first posted about it has got better. I do want that to be clear. But its still not right and we still have work to do.