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Just moved to a new town - it’s awful & I don’t know what to do

254 replies

Scarytown · 22/08/2023 11:49

Moved to a town in South East a few months ago for work. It’s awful and quite frankly I feel scared living here. I’m a quiet unassuming person who hates conflict and like most people just want to live my life.

I moved here for work - a promotion (think promotion in a well known supermarket) but I am now wondering if I can stick it or should contact work and ask to move back to my home store, embarrassing as that would be.

I’m from Manchester so it’s not like I’m some small town girl unused to busy city life and all that goes with it. But this town, well it’s just awful and I’m scared to go out.

A few awful things have happened which may be clouding my view and maybe I’ve just been unlucky but I’m not sure. The town centre is awful, full of what seems like people who don’t and have never worked. Quite aggressive, swearing shouting and smoking weed. Work colleagues have told me not to go into the town as “normal” people avoid it.

Ive had 2 lots of road rage directed at me in the town , both by men in big 4x4 cars. One followed me home and I literally had to run inside my flat, I was so shaken up. I was woken at 3 am to swearing and shouting in the street, looked out the window there were 2 police vans and loads of police arresting some men a few doors down. Every night I hear swearing and screaming from this house and men sit out front smoking weed. I dared to walk past the other day & was subjected to a load of abuse.

The people at work are nice but most of them don’t live in the town and they all have families so can’t really socialise with them outside of work. I’m in my twenties and single.

Sat in my car now after being given a mouthful of abuse after I pulled over to let a car pass, got thanked in the form of a load of abuse by the bloke driving.

Im so miserable ☹️

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
TooOldForThisNonsense · 22/08/2023 11:52

Move back if you can. Life is too short for this x

Fuckitydoodah · 22/08/2023 11:54

You've given it a few months, which is enough time to know if you're going to like it or not. I doubt things will improve. I'd request a transfer back. No job is worth making your life miserable. You need to enjoy life.

Scarytown · 22/08/2023 11:55

It’s not the job, the job is great. It’s the town.

OP posts:
RoyKentsTieDyeTop · 22/08/2023 11:55

Is it Crawley?

stbrandonsboat · 22/08/2023 11:56

Can you move further out?

FictionalCharacter · 22/08/2023 11:56

If you can go back to your home store, go for it. There’s nothing embarrassing about moving back.

Notamum12345577 · 22/08/2023 11:56

Scarytown · 22/08/2023 11:49

Moved to a town in South East a few months ago for work. It’s awful and quite frankly I feel scared living here. I’m a quiet unassuming person who hates conflict and like most people just want to live my life.

I moved here for work - a promotion (think promotion in a well known supermarket) but I am now wondering if I can stick it or should contact work and ask to move back to my home store, embarrassing as that would be.

I’m from Manchester so it’s not like I’m some small town girl unused to busy city life and all that goes with it. But this town, well it’s just awful and I’m scared to go out.

A few awful things have happened which may be clouding my view and maybe I’ve just been unlucky but I’m not sure. The town centre is awful, full of what seems like people who don’t and have never worked. Quite aggressive, swearing shouting and smoking weed. Work colleagues have told me not to go into the town as “normal” people avoid it.

Ive had 2 lots of road rage directed at me in the town , both by men in big 4x4 cars. One followed me home and I literally had to run inside my flat, I was so shaken up. I was woken at 3 am to swearing and shouting in the street, looked out the window there were 2 police vans and loads of police arresting some men a few doors down. Every night I hear swearing and screaming from this house and men sit out front smoking weed. I dared to walk past the other day & was subjected to a load of abuse.

The people at work are nice but most of them don’t live in the town and they all have families so can’t really socialise with them outside of work. I’m in my twenties and single.

Sat in my car now after being given a mouthful of abuse after I pulled over to let a car pass, got thanked in the form of a load of abuse by the bloke driving.

Im so miserable ☹️

I live in the south east, I’m interested to know the town. What letter does it being with? 😉🤣
Is it in the Medway area of Kent (I’m assuming that counts as SE?) if so yes some rough towns there!

Ahhbeecee · 22/08/2023 11:57

Which town?

PimpMyFridge · 22/08/2023 11:57

It was really considerate of you to pull over and let someone past so they weren't held up if they wanted to go quicker than you, where I am that equals have earned you a thumbs up.

Everything you described is grim. Sounds like feral yobs are commonplace and that means you'll be on your guard often when you're out and about.

Can't even relax when you're driving. Never mind when on foot. I've lived somewhere that was a bit like this (though not as bad), I was much much happier when I relocated somewhere were daily aggression was not the norm.

I don't think it's embarrassing to go back to your previous store, or on to another store. You can tell anyone who cares to listen that it was a ghastly place to live and you had no intention of staying there because life is too short and you took charge of your situation... No shame in that.

kistanbul · 22/08/2023 11:57

Move. If you’re in the south east transport and roads are likely good enough to give you choice of where to commute from.

Scarytown · 22/08/2023 11:57

Gravesend

OP posts:
Littlemissprosecco · 22/08/2023 11:57

If you let us know your town, we could help you with other areas around which might be better for you to live, socialise etc….

Notamum12345577 · 22/08/2023 11:57

RoyKentsTieDyeTop · 22/08/2023 11:55

Is it Crawley?

Crawley might not be great, but I don’t think it is as bad as that 😁

Littlemissprosecco · 22/08/2023 11:57

Sorry x post!

Clymene · 22/08/2023 11:59

Scarytown · 22/08/2023 11:57

Gravesend

Oh god it's a shithole. There are much nicer places near there.

PermanentTemporary · 22/08/2023 11:59

This sounds utterly crap and sadly i can think of a few places it could be.

I would give one further move a try, if you like the job. Ask around your colleagues, where do they live? Are there any suburbs, villages or other areas you've spotted? Start a new thread naming the town and asking for recommendations of nice bits? The good news is you are young, single and mobile.

Talk to your manager too - especially if you would be struggling to get out of a rental contract - I don't know anything about tenants rights but they might be able to support you with that.

Notamum12345577 · 22/08/2023 12:00

Scarytown · 22/08/2023 11:57

Gravesend

Ah, I was very close when I said Medway! Yes it’s not the nicest area I hear. I think a lot stems from when the ship yards closed down, so a lot of work dried up.

flipent · 22/08/2023 12:00

There are plenty of lovely villages around Gravesend which would be commutable for a job in the town.
There are also nicer areas of Gravesend itself.
If you're really unhappy - there is nothing wrong with going back home. But there are other options if you're happy with the job.

I'm local, feel free to DM me if you'd like some more advice.

RatherBeRiding · 22/08/2023 12:01

Are you renting? if the job is great, can you relocate to outside the town and commute in?

Notamum12345577 · 22/08/2023 12:01

Maybe move further out and drive into work (or public transport if you can)?

Clymene · 22/08/2023 12:02

Rochester is better (not Chatham), or even Greenhithe

PermanentTemporary · 22/08/2023 12:02

Scarytown · 22/08/2023 11:57

Gravesend

OK nuff said. You can do a lot lot better than that in the area. I wonder how Rochester is these days? It looked lovely to me now but I don't live round there any more.

Jackienory · 22/08/2023 12:02

Get out, as soon as you can.

DontBeAPrickDarren · 22/08/2023 12:03

Notamum12345577 · 22/08/2023 12:00

Ah, I was very close when I said Medway! Yes it’s not the nicest area I hear. I think a lot stems from when the ship yards closed down, so a lot of work dried up.

I was going to be offended at your saying Medway but then realised my immediate thought on reading OP’s post was Gillingham high street 😬

PermanentTemporary · 22/08/2023 12:04

I thought it would be High Wycombe tbh